Not much to say here, observe and report. Caution: May contain typos...


Orphans script
Characters:
Zebero Sahara (Zebra)
Frosty (Polar Bear)
Chompers (Emo Lizard)
Dave (Muscled Dragon)
KO (Musclegut Lizard)
Calgon (Muscled shark, though in a normal sense)
(Zebero and Frosty are ashing dishes after an incident that got them in trouble.)

Frosty: I can't believe you used the sling shot at point blank range.

Zebero: It was your idea!

Frosty: At a distance! You shoot the halved lemon at a distance!

Zebero: Well I didn't know! KO was right behind me!

(Suddenly, Chompers, a lizard, comes charging while screaming.

Chompers: aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA—OOF! (he hits the glass sliding door hard. It shatters, but he still falls backward.)

(Frosty and Zebero run to help.)

Frosty: Damn, dude, why'd you shatter the door?

Chompers: Dave... girl... screaming...

Zebero: Spit it out, what's wrong?!

Chompers: DAVE'S GIRLFRIEND IS HAVING A BABY!

Zebero: ...What?

Chompers: At the hospital, she's.... oh my God... we need to go, everybody else is already there!

Zebero: C'mon Frosty!

Frosty: Gimme a sec... (he disappears into the lobby, before retrieving a camcorder.)

Zebero: A camcorder dude?! Seriously?!

Frosty: Yeah, childbirth is filmed like all the time!

Chompers: Why would you want to record that?!

Frosty: It's not for me, dumbass! It's for Dave!

(Now in the POV of a camcorder)
(skzzxxcckk)

Zebero: Okay, we're almost there!

Frosty: Damn, look at all these people! What happened?

Chompers: That explosion at the theater yesterday!

Frosty: What explosion?

Zebero: C'mon! Chompers, where is she?

Chompers: Third floor!

(Zebero, Frosty, and Chompers rush through the crowd. They avoid bumping into the wounded, and they convince several passing doctors that they're fine. Finally, they reach an elevator.)

Chompers: Fuck... that was hectic!

Zebero: Can you believe no one died in that explosion?

Chompers: Yeah. It collapsed, didn't it?

Frosty: Makes me happy that the movie ended when it happened. But now, there are so many hurt people here...

Chompers: That's just it! Before I left, there were only nurses! The doctors are all downstairs...

Zebero: What?!

(The elevator opened and the three rush down the hallway, coming to the large group of orphans, who ad apparently snuck here as well. KO is pacing angrily. He Is wearing a tank top that was two sizes too small for his gut, and capris.)

KO: There's no one in there right now... I... am losing patience...

Chompers: Is there a doctor in there?

KO: No! We need one in there, NOW!!

(Calgon is resting against the wall rather than on the bench, wearing a white tank top and gray jeans. He seems calm about the entire situation, but he is sweating profusely)

Zebero: What's up with you?

Calgon: The hospital air... it's too dry! (He gulps down another mini-cup of water.) I'm trying to stay hydrated, I'm a fucking shark! (He dumps another cup of water against his gills.)

KO: Where the heck are those doctors?!

Frosty: Downstairs, after that catastrophe at the theater--

KO: They'll live! NONE OF THEM ARE GOING INTO LABOR RIGHT NOW!! And where's Dave?!

Chompers: Running late! The train's stalled; he's taking it on foot!

KO: (puts his hand on his snout.) Okay... fine... Chompers, take off your jacket and come with me!

Chompers: Wait? Where are we going?!

KO: We're delivering this child before this woman dies!

Chompers: We?!

(Zebero and Frosty are sitting on a bench, silent for the most part. Soon, Frosty gets up and heads to the room for recording. Calgon is still glugging water, and Chompers is being dragged into Room 307. Screams and shout of pain can be heard inside.)

KO: Okay, I don't need you to do anything but hold her hand.

Chompers: (cringes during another scream) Just hold her hand until Dave gets here!

Nurse: Are you certified--

KO: DAMN STRAIGHT!

Chompers: Um, hi Tina... (the shy emo raptor sidesteps slowly over to the screaming cat.)

Chompers: (thinking) Okay, all he wanted me to do was hold her hand right? Nothing wrong with that--

(Tina grabs the lizard's hand, and several bones begin to crack.)

Chompers: A—OOOHHHGGGGOOODDDD!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Now, Tina isn't the only one screaming.) LEGGO, LEGGOOOOOOO! (Chompers falls to his knees, writhing pathetically.)

Dave: (from behind) I got here as soon as I could!

Chompers: DAVE! MAKE IT STOP! (another crack in the screaming room) MY KNUCKLES!

KO: Frosty, what the hell?! Shut off the damn camera!
(No longer in camera POV)

(Frosty, Zebero, Calgon, and KO are sitting outside.)

Calgon: So where's Chompers?

KO: Getting an X-Ray. The doctors that finally arrived said it wasn't all that bad, but he'll need a cast anyway...

Chompers: Ya think?

(Everyone turns to see the bandages around Chomper's cast-covered hand. Everyone cringes a bit.)

Chompers: Never, ever ask me to do that again...

KO: Sorry... it was you or Frosty...

Frosty: Yes!

(Dave walks out of Room 307, but he doesn't look happy. He slumps against the wall, slides down, and rests his head in his hands.)

KO: What's up?

Dave: It's a reptile... but it's not mine...

KO:... What?

Dave: It's not mine. He's red, has a headcrest, and he doesn't have my winged ears. He's not mine.

KO: Oh...

Dave:... Well now what? I can't just leave them... Tina told me everything in there... she said her ex died overseas, and that she needed help taking care of him. What should I do...?

Frosty: I say leave it. It ain't yours, dude.

Dave: What are you, 13? If I leave her, and him, he's going to end up like... like... like you guys!

Zebero: Hey!

Dave: Just sayin'... I help run an orphanage, and I can't help but feel like you guys aren't coming out like daisies!

Chompers: Jackass...