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I have not finished these, and probably won't finish them. I mean, other 'artists' post pictures that THEY haven't completed...why can't I do the same, right?
"Just, trust me." Rush huffed as he shoved himself against Foxy's back, forcing the reluctant blue vulpine into Juliette's yard.
"But WHY?!" Foxy groaned, trying to hold his ground, skidding ever closer to his doom. Rush rolled his eyes.
"Because the BEST lovin' is make up lovin and THIS is the perfect time to let Juliette know that she's all you ever think about!" Rush growled. Chaos- whom was accompanying the duo to make up the toony trio, nodded his head and whipped out his calculator, tapping in a few numbers.
"Rush is correct, Foxy. According to Juliette's history of violence, Perfecto Prep's significantly flawed teaching methods, the fact that she's a wolf, and factoring in that you are indeed a fox, the success rate you have for this endeavor is 27.09 repeating, of course. Uh, wait, I forgot to add in that Juliette is a girl. Wait, is she drunk. Are you gonna get her drunk first? You should probably get her drunk first before you apologize. "Chaos remarked thoughtfully, and yelped when he found Rush's finger brushing against his nose in a directed point.
"Hey. Chaos. We talked about this. Remember? We had a chat about what would happened if you came along? You're not allowed to talk. Do you remember that? Do you remember how I threatened you? A lot? That still stands. " Rush hissed, and casually grabbed Foxy's tail as he tried to bolt for the street.
"I know, I know. "Chaos groaned. Rush turned to Foxy and gave him a drastic snort, stuffing a lute into his paws.
"Listen. This is what you do. You take this musical instrument. You sit your butt on the bench outside her window. You sing. " Rush huffed. Foxy bit his lower lip and quickly shook his head.
"But I can't sing!" He whined. Rush growled and rolled his eyes.
"This is not the point. Girl's LOVE it when you sing! Chaos, what is the likely probability that Juliette will love Foxy's singing. "
"10 percent!" Said Chaos.
"Shut up Chaos. " Said Rush.
"Y, you SURE this is a good idea? I think we should- Foxy whimpered, but Rush wasn't listening, he just shoved the fox towards Juliette's window and pointed with an angry kitty growl.
"Look, I screw up all the TIME with girls! I know what I'm talking about! I'm good at this! Chaos will take any beatings Juliette wants to give you. " Rush explained.
"What?! What on EARTH makes you think I'm taking any beatings tonight!" The puppy snarled, and yelped when Rush forced his nose against his with a snarl.
"Because it's YOUR fault those two are having an argument in the FIRST place! You and your crazy plans!" Rush snapped. Chaos narrowed his eyes.
"MY fault?! HA! The PLAN was golden! The PLAN was sound! The PLAN was fool proof, but it wasn't CAT proof! If I had calculated that YOU'D be hitting on that boxom kitten in the book store across the street INSTEAD of at your post like you were supposed to be when the dynamite went off, the vineyard wouldn't have flooded you striped tosser!" the Puppy snarled.
"I'm not a tosser! I don't even know what that is! But at least I'm not a goggle-headed, panty wearing, dynamite humping, disaster!" Rush snapped. Chaos slowly drew his goggles over his eyes and twisted his paws into fists. It was on.
"I'm not that kinda guy, who can take a broken heart, So don't ever leave, I don't wanna see us part..." Foxy sang the first thing that came to mind when Juliette appeared at her window- revolver loaded and at the ready. Behind him, Chaos rolled atop of Rush, whom had his fingers wrapped tightly around the puppy's neck, while Chaos tugged the beret the feline wore down over his head.
"The very thought of losing you means, that everything would go down under..." Foxy called lovingly into the air. Click went the revolver’s safety.
“Mom, can we PLEASE just go hungry?!” Chaos whimpered, leaning over the breakfast table to try and get his mother’s attention, whom sighed and flipped a page in her magazine.
“Hush Chaos. Pan tried very hard to make breakfast this morning. The least you could do is be appreciative that you have an older sibling who wants to feed you.” The elder coyote sighed, and flicked a casual glance towards Calamity’s sign post as Pandora presented two hours of labor in the guise of ‘breakfast.’ She’d gotten up early Saturday morning, and demanded to be allowed to cook breakfast- something Joy had found a significant hesitation in allowing her to do. She begged, however, and Joy, being the kindly mother that she was- gave in.
[Mom! Pandora is feeding us burnt rocks!] Calamity’s message read.
“They’re Hash Browns, Buttmuch!” Pandora snapped. Calamity rolled his eyes.
[Mom! Pandora is feeding us burnt rocks and pretending they’re Hash Browns!] Calamity’s signpost read.
“I think I’ll just have cereal.” Chaos sighed.
[Cereal is outlawed, remember?] Calamity snorted.
“Ahh yes, that fateful day when Pan set her Cheerios on fire when she was nine.”
[And subsequently mom’s hair]
“You two wouldn’t know a delicious homemade meal if it kicked you in the face.” Pandora snorted. Chaos rolled his eyes.
“I often have nightmares of your homemade meals physically attacking me, yes.” The coyote quipped and yelped when Pandora reached across the table and grabbed him by the scruff of his neck.
“I am THIS close to using you as a scratching post, pup!” She snapped, and Chaos gave a miserable sigh.
“How? You don’t have CLAWS.” He pointed out.
“CALAMITY! BUILD ME A SET OF CLAWS OR I’LL USE THEM TO CUT YOU!” Pandora hissed at her brother.
[Don’t drag me into this. It would be a claw-tastraphe]
There was an uncomfortable silence in the room.
“Sweetheart, for the last time, PLEASE, no puns at the table.” Joy whimpered.
“FINE! FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY! I work and I slave over a hot stove, and THIS is the thanks I get?!” The purple coyote snarled. Chaos glanced at Calamity.
“I don’t remember thanking you.” Chaos muttered. Pan gave a vicious snarl and stomped out of the room.
Miles approached with a casually swagger in his step- much of it caused by the towering stack of literature he grasped underneath his fingertips. Still, even as his legs trembled under the weight of reading, he paused where he stood, peering quietly at the pink, shaven girl sitting casually adjacent from him, humming a quiet tune of O’ Canada while precariously clutching at a glass of wine.
“Claire…?” Miles squeaked quietly. Surely it couldn’t be her, not in a library, not with a glass of wine. That didn’t even make sense, but the fem skunk turned with a bright smile tugging at her features and a heavenly chime in her voice.
“Miles!” She barked- loudly. The boy skunk stared in turn, eyeing the colored lenses that covered her eyes and more importantly- the bottle of half consumed wine next to her.
“…Are…Are you drinking?” He asked. He hadn’t meant to ask, but the words simply tumbled from his lips, spilling into the air like he’d no control over them. The French skunk beamed another dazzling smile and leaned back in her chair, damn near tumbling to the ground, before bursting into a peel of laughter.
“Drinking…? Oh! Oui! Oui, oui! I AM drinking! In fact…I am VERY drunk! C’est La Vie! …Miles! Would you like a drink too?” She giggled once again- a sound that bounced off the library’s multitude of walls and perked the ears of the grim looking vulpine sitting at the front desk- Misses Fondue.
“Well today is going to be interesting.” Miles sighed, and quickly dropped his stack of books atop the table, covering the bottle of wine from view as the angry Liberian approached the duo.
“I needn’t remind you two that Tom Foolery will not be permitted in the library. Keep it quiet. “ The vulpine snarled in an angry hiss, and turned sharply on her heel to return to the front desk. She was well aware of the little pink tongue that had slipped free of Miles’ lips as she walked away, but she didn’t care. If she kicked out every student that scoffed at her when back was turned, the library would be forever empty.
“That was close…” The boy winced, and glanced down at Claire- whom had collapsed to the floor in a series of barely stifled giggles.
“Miles! Miles! Did you know I ‘ave seven toes!?” The girl asked proudly, holding up her feet towards the befuddled skunk.
“…You have six toes. Claire. “ He sighed. His lips pursed into a gentle smile when her eyes widened in awe at the sudden surge of numerical information regarding her feet.
“…Mon dieuuuuuuuuuu…” She squeaked quietly, wiggling her toes in amazement. Somehow, Miles was quite sure alcohol had not been the skunk’s only indulgence this afternoon.
“We should probably go someplace where this isn’t a felony. Come on, up-seedaisy!” Miles squeaked, reaching down to pluck the skunk to her feet-, who lavishly giggled and leaned against him.
“Zat tickles Miles! I am shaven you know! Oooo, I know what we should do!” She squealed. Miles gave a gentle sigh.
“Shave?” He asked. She peered at him with a quiet glaze of alcohol across her features.
“…you stay outta my ‘ead…” She hissed softly and wobbled a moment, before giving the returning librarian an exaggerated salute.
Dana twisted quietly about the bed, rolling onto her back with a gentle sigh spilling from her warm pursed lips. It was just after her shower, and the smooth silky sheets of her satin covered bed pressed lovingly against the supple form of her glistening pink body. it was heaven. A cool summer breeze drifted in from a adjacent open window, and gentle beams of cool, silvery moonlight splashed across bed and her naked form illuminating her womanly curves, and the silvery pings that pierced her ears. The stage was set, and there was nothing more she'd rather have. Well...maybe one thing. "Orv..."She called- her voice riddled with a luster that could not be denied- riveted with a pitch-a tone of something sweet like honey and alluring like gold.
She spilt from her position, rolling onto her back onto the bed after her shower. The smooth silky sheets pressing against the supple form of her soft, pink body was heaven, and with the gentle beams of cool, silvery moonlight splashing down atop the bed and her naked form, there was nothing more she'd rather have. Well...maybe one thing. "Orv..."She called- her voice riddled with a lustre that could not be denied- rivited with a pitch-a tone of something sweet like honey and alluring like gold."
"Orv?" Dana called around, perking her ears- the multiple studs glistening and gleaming under the cool moonlight. There was no response. She paused thoughtfully, rolling the silky, satin blankets around her hips and gently pulled herself into a sitting position. It wasn't the original position she'd hoped he'd find her in- but it was still something that should make his beak crash to the ground. Silence weaved through the bedroom again. Where was that bird?!
"ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrV Mousies getting cooooooooooooooooold." She tried again. Her voice tickling the depths of want. There was a shudder on the staircase- a few heafty thumps and Dana gave a tremble. He was coming! Already her heart began to pulse in her chest, growing with speed as the big bird drew near. A romantic night for her and the bird- something she'd been waiting for, for weeks!
I BOUGHT SOME MAC AND CHEESE AND I -OHLORDSHOEBOX!" Orv shrieked as he accidentally tripped over Riot's shoebox, splattering the bed in hot creamy goodness. Hot cheese slowly trickles across Dana's heaving chest, meandering down her supple, pink form in slow, wet rivits, much like the same creamy streaks that had splattered across her face. All over her face, her ears, forehead and muzzle- leaving her very, very cheesed off.
"Was it good for you?" Asked Orv?
Fifi glanced around nervously, as she followed the nerdy boy in his home and down into the basement. This was how several horror movies got started, and while Fifi was sure that Calamity wasn’t a serial killer, she was slightly nervous at the prospect of being in his home. Still she felt slightly better when she caught sight of a familiar face- Chaos Coyote, the youngest of the siblings, was in the basement laboratory Calamity had lead them to. The little coyote had an unapologetic crush on her cousin; Claire La mouf, and more than once Fifi had found herself counseling the poor lad in terms of romance.
Calamity shooed him away with a quick exchange of words and turned towards Fifi when Chaos finally relented, leaving the two of them alone in the laboratory.
[Are you sure about this?] The sign post read. Calamity was already nuzzling buttons and caressing dials on a large console set up in the middle of the room. He didn’t seem to need a response- he knew what she wanted and what she was going to say, and Fifi was already nodding her head before he turned back to her and gestured towards a cold looking metallic table in the room. Like something out of a horror film.
Still, the female skunk clambered onto the cold table, shivering the moment the material pressed against the warm, purple expanse of her buns though her swimsuit and her breath caught in her throat. She couldn't believe what she'd asked Calamity to do for her- and the young scientist couldn't either.
The device the was pointing towards her chest was something only a depraved little geek like Calamity could come up with- and it was something Fifi was, at the moment, not sure she should be thankful for. It was supposed to enhance her chest- to force the meager little swells of sensitive girl flesh into full ripe melons of bouncing, bobbing, wobbling fun balloons that boys swooned over. The idea alone made her nipples perk and stiffen- standing up firmly under the thin rubbery material she was wearing. Still, it was an unnerving concept...what if the machine didn't work...what if it worked TOO well, what if it just zapped her into pudding?!
"Lose the shirt, rabbit. " Roderick snarled coldly, narrowing his eyes at the blushing blue bunny standing before him. Without a word, Buster immediately did as he was told, plucking his iconic red shirt from his plump, blue frame and laid it down neatly folded across the locker room bench. Sunday evening. Prefecto Prep's locker room once again, under Roderick's control, just like last time, the time before that and the time before that. And every time, Buster felt the oddest tingle rippling through his body.
"Good...good...been putting on weight, Buster? Looking a bit chubby down here. "Roderick teased, reaching out to press a rude finger against the side of Buster's jutting belly. The rabbit have a quiet huff, and shook his head, crossing his arms, whilst Roderick waiting for the correct response from the rabbit. Buster immediately balked.
"N, no...Sir. I'm...I'm not. " Buster stammered quietly, and Roderick rolled his eyes. He didn't particularly care one way or the other, and Buster was certain of it.
"On your knees, rabbit. I've got an early day tomorrow and I don't have time for games. You know exactly what you'll be doing- what you do best. "Roderick explained with a grimness that clung to his words and twisted his features into a sinister smile.
“Can you believe this?! They called me a slut! SHE called me a slut!!” The wolf snarled viciously, waving the newspaper around, as if her spastic actions would make it that much more readable to Chaos. He wasn’t paying attention anyway; he was far more worried about Rhubella mindlessly clicking at the mouse on his computer, trying to get it to ‘hack’ for her.
“She’s a bitch! She is totally a bitch!” The she rat snorted, aimlessly clicking on his splash screen while her tail flickered back and forth under her dress in agitation.
"She is SO not Perfecto material! She's snobby, and arrogant, and ignorant, and...and...she was wearing the EXACT SAME OUTFIT AND LOOKED BETTER THAN ME!" Rhubella snarled. Chaos rolled his eyes, as he had been ever since the two girls invaded his home and demanded his presence.
"Yes, that IS quite the shame, but I still don't see how this is MY problem. " The boy snorted. Juliette immediately whirled about and stuffed the rolled up newspaper against Chaos' chest.
"I am MAKING it your problem, Chaos. This girl has GOT to go, and as an Ex-perfect, you are hereby the only pup we can trust. Sides, you've always helped us before. As a Looneyversity looser, you're honor bound to be good guys, and that means you help us. Sara Dash has GOT to go!" Juliette snarked.
"Sides! She's a ROAD RUNNER. You, are a coyote. You're practically like, totally supposed to be drooling at the chance to catch her!" Rhubella snapped. Chaos, yet again, rolled his eyes.
"Look, just because I'm a coyote and she's a road runner, doesn't automatically define our roles. Geez, you guys. "The pup snorted, leaning back casually over his chair. Rhubella and Juliette peered at each other, before Rhubella took a step forward, rolling her fingertips across Chaos' shoulders gently.
"Well...if you catch her for us and get her out of our hair...I think I'd be so...moved by your big...sexy...intelligent brain, that I'd simply HAVE to ask you out on a date. " The rat churred warmly into the boy's ear. Chaos grinned.
"Ooooo, really?! A date?! I'd totally go for that- if I didn't already have a girlfriend. " He grinned. Rhubella's mouth dropped open. girlfriend?!
"Look, catch her, and you get my allowance AND Rhubella's allowance. For a month. " The wolf snapped.
"GIRLFRIEND?!" Rhubella snarled.
"I don't NEED you're allowance. I won the science fair last week. I'm set for the time being. But that's cool of you to offer. " Chaos grinned.
"You...have...a ...girlfriend?!" Rhubella whined.
"Alright wiseguy! You catch Sara Dash for us, and we give a month of our allowance to that stupid cat you hang out with. Furrball. How's THAT!" Juliette quipped, crossing her arms with a smug grin. She'd had him- cold.
"But who would DATE you. I mean, LOOK at you!" Rhubella whimpered.
"...Deal. " Chaos snapped. Sara Dash was the newest girl at Perfecto Perp, a road runner whom immediately taken to the school news paper- The Perfect Pages, and was now editor in chief. If she wasn't wildly texting on her phone, she was zipping left and right taking embarrassing, and compromising pictures of students in the worst possible positions. Apparently both Rhubella AND Juliette had become her latest victims, and now it was up to the one pup who was capable of doing something about it. Mission start...
There was something disconcerting about the day. Oh, sure the birds chirped, the grass was green and the sun was shining brightly. Ponyville was awash with sweet smelling fruits and the gentle hints of summer drifting in from a late spring. But still, something about the day made Spike ill at ease.
To start, Twilight woke up late. She was hardly ever late, and by hardly, Spike could only count once- when she had been ‘tardy’ with an assignment. But she was always up and out of bed when her alarm went off- as if she’d couldn’t grasp the function of the snooze button.
No, today she was a full twenty minutes late, pulling herself out of bed and getting the day started. By the time she made it downstairs, breakfast was cold and Spike had begun to worry if she were sick. Spike had to admit, she looked horrible, to be utterly frank. Her mane was sloppy and disheveled, and she stood on wobbly knees and a crooked posture that betrayed her usual upright and perfect stance. Something was clearly wrong. He’d also called her name three times, and had yet to receive a response- so there was that too.
“Twilight!” Spike snapped for the fourth time, his face twisted with a worry and finally- FINALLY her distant, bewildered expression focused on him.
“WHAT Spike?! I…I’m sorry…I…um…what? W, what is it? What were you saying?” Twilight stammered, shaking her head as if she were attempting to clear whatever murky clouds addled her brain. There was no luck in the endeavor. Spike frowned.
“I SAID you look terrible! Are you alright? Do you need me to get Nurse Redheart?” The plucky dragon asked. Twilight yawned and shook her head, forcing a thinly lipped smile at her companion.
“No. I’m fine. Just need to get some sleep. I keep…I keep having this nightmare, Spike. I can’t remember it though. It’s been happening over and over and over again, but every time I wake up I can’t remember it. Just that everyone was hurting…and I was alone. I was…cold, and scared, and alone somewhere very far away. I couldn’t help any of my friends and something bad was happening Spike. Something awful. But I just can’t remember what it was. “ She explained, sipping at a tasteless glass of orange juice Spike had pushed in front of her.
“Maybe you’re just nervous about the Princess going to another country on business. I bet it’s one of those psychotic-o-logically thingies!” Spike offered. For a moment- a thin, breath taking moment, Twilight wanted to yell. She wanted to tell him it was stupid, and that she wasn’t worried just because the Princess was leaving to another country, outside of Equestria- without her. Even though she practically begged to come.
“No. Spike.” Twilight grumbled. The dragon didn’t press the issue, and to that end, Twilight was grateful. She was grumpy and she knew it- lack of sleep, the first and obvious reason, but maybe, he was onto something. Regardless, the reason, she had to get some sleep and soon, or her next report to the princess would be scribbles of nonsense and loosely compiled thoughts. The mare shook her head, mumbling quietly to herself while her gaze drifted into the distance again. She had to do something…and soon.
“Well Suga’cube, iffin’ ya’ll asks me, I reckon a good day’s work would do you mighty good for sleep problems. All that studyin’ ain’t gonna make ya good n’ tired like buckin’ trees all day. Heh, trust me, come to Sweet Apple Acres and I’ll work ya good n’ hard. You’ll sleep like a babe! I know I do.” Apple jack explained while Twilight perused her books. Regardless of the fact that her friends had come over to fetch her for the picnic they were supposed to be having, Twilight had found herself late again- searching through her library for a solution to her insomnia and nightmares, and she rolled her eyes at Applejack’s suggestion. That was stupid. She wasn’t going to spend all day at some barn to kick trees when there was REAL work to be done.
“AJ’s got a point, Twi! You get a work out, you go to sleep. I mean duh, for an egghead, that oughta be simple! Race me at Sunridge vally. You’ll lose, of course, but that’s not the point. The point is, you’ll wear yourself out and fall asleep in no time flat.” Rainbow Dash quipped. The blue Pegasus was hovering upside down, and circling the library in a fashion that was making Twilight’s mane stand up on end. Everything she though Rainbow was going to crash into something, the pony switched directions and nimbly avoided an accident. It was driving her crazy- and her suggestion of wearing herself out was almost as stupid as Applejack’s. The unicorn drew in a breath. She just needed to find the book she was looking for. She knew what it was, the title on the tip of her tongue- she just needed a moment without a distraction to concentra-
“Wrong. She’s already tired, you two, and making her MORE tired won’t do the trick. Twilight dear, what you NEED is to relax. Draw a hot bath, get some silk sheets. A designer comforter. A scented pillow. I guarantee you, darling, you snuggle up in those and you’ll fall asleep before your head hits the pillow! “ The other unicorn in the room explained with a cheerful air of superiority. Rarity. Twilight gave a heated snort and continued to browse her massive selections of tombs.
Ridiculous. Her bed was just –fine- but that was typical of Rarity to act like a know it all. What was her IQ anyway? Lower, Twilight was sure, but she just HAD to act like a sno-
“I think some herbal tea might make you drowsy, Twilight. I can make you my own special batch, if you like. Sometimes, I have trouble falling asleep when I think of all the poor birds, and bunnies and kittens and puppies out in the world without homes. Sometimes I get so worried I just can’t even close my eyes! “A quiet little mouse sized voice squeaked out from somewhere in the room. Twilight however, couldn’t make out what Fluttershy was saying- nor did she have the energy or concentration to focus on it, like she usually did. She had to try so hard to listen to the her tiny whisper of a voice, and now with her lack of sleep, Fluttershy sounded even further away than normal. The yellow Pegasus was standing next to Rarity in the middle of the room, and yet Twilight couldn’t hear her. Why on Earth couldn’t Fluttershy talk at normal levels. Just once!? Didn’t she see how tired Twilight was? Didn’t she notice how-
“ABOOGA-BOOGA- BOOGA!!” Pinkie- Pie shrieked, the pink mare quite suddenly bursting out of the shelf Twilight was browsing, screaming with a tribal mask glued to her face she’d gotten from somewhere. Twilight screeched and tumbled back on her rump, eyes wide with fear and surprise. Pinkie burst into giggles and lifted the mask from her face, grinning brightly.
“I figured I didn’t know how to put you ta sleep, so I’d just wake ya up instead! Did it work?! Are you awake?! I can try again if it didn’t!” She quipped brightly, barley able to contain the giggles the threatened to spill past her lips.
“Out.” Twilight hissed, her voice a twisted and trembling snarl. Before any pony could ask what the unicorn meant, Twilight threw up her hooves, her horn glowing with an angry burst of violent purple.
“Wha-” Applejack began, but was quickly cut off when Twilight leapt to her hooves with a blazing look of fury in her eye.
“I SAID OUT! EVERYBODY OUT! I DON’T WANT ANY TEA, I DON’T WANT TO KICK TREES AND I DON’T NEED A BATH! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME THINK!” And with that, they were gone. Removed magically from Twilight’s presence, and leaving Twilight to herself. It was quiet now. No Applejack, no Pinkie Pie, no Rarity, no Fluttershy and no Rainbow Dash. The only other creature left with a heartbeat in the room was Spike, who was slowing coming to realize this problem was going to get worse before it got better.
"Just, trust me." Rush huffed as he shoved himself against Foxy's back, forcing the reluctant blue vulpine into Juliette's yard.
"But WHY?!" Foxy groaned, trying to hold his ground, skidding ever closer to his doom. Rush rolled his eyes.
"Because the BEST lovin' is make up lovin and THIS is the perfect time to let Juliette know that she's all you ever think about!" Rush growled. Chaos- whom was accompanying the duo to make up the toony trio, nodded his head and whipped out his calculator, tapping in a few numbers.
"Rush is correct, Foxy. According to Juliette's history of violence, Perfecto Prep's significantly flawed teaching methods, the fact that she's a wolf, and factoring in that you are indeed a fox, the success rate you have for this endeavor is 27.09 repeating, of course. Uh, wait, I forgot to add in that Juliette is a girl. Wait, is she drunk. Are you gonna get her drunk first? You should probably get her drunk first before you apologize. "Chaos remarked thoughtfully, and yelped when he found Rush's finger brushing against his nose in a directed point.
"Hey. Chaos. We talked about this. Remember? We had a chat about what would happened if you came along? You're not allowed to talk. Do you remember that? Do you remember how I threatened you? A lot? That still stands. " Rush hissed, and casually grabbed Foxy's tail as he tried to bolt for the street.
"I know, I know. "Chaos groaned. Rush turned to Foxy and gave him a drastic snort, stuffing a lute into his paws.
"Listen. This is what you do. You take this musical instrument. You sit your butt on the bench outside her window. You sing. " Rush huffed. Foxy bit his lower lip and quickly shook his head.
"But I can't sing!" He whined. Rush growled and rolled his eyes.
"This is not the point. Girl's LOVE it when you sing! Chaos, what is the likely probability that Juliette will love Foxy's singing. "
"10 percent!" Said Chaos.
"Shut up Chaos. " Said Rush.
"Y, you SURE this is a good idea? I think we should- Foxy whimpered, but Rush wasn't listening, he just shoved the fox towards Juliette's window and pointed with an angry kitty growl.
"Look, I screw up all the TIME with girls! I know what I'm talking about! I'm good at this! Chaos will take any beatings Juliette wants to give you. " Rush explained.
"What?! What on EARTH makes you think I'm taking any beatings tonight!" The puppy snarled, and yelped when Rush forced his nose against his with a snarl.
"Because it's YOUR fault those two are having an argument in the FIRST place! You and your crazy plans!" Rush snapped. Chaos narrowed his eyes.
"MY fault?! HA! The PLAN was golden! The PLAN was sound! The PLAN was fool proof, but it wasn't CAT proof! If I had calculated that YOU'D be hitting on that boxom kitten in the book store across the street INSTEAD of at your post like you were supposed to be when the dynamite went off, the vineyard wouldn't have flooded you striped tosser!" the Puppy snarled.
"I'm not a tosser! I don't even know what that is! But at least I'm not a goggle-headed, panty wearing, dynamite humping, disaster!" Rush snapped. Chaos slowly drew his goggles over his eyes and twisted his paws into fists. It was on.
"I'm not that kinda guy, who can take a broken heart, So don't ever leave, I don't wanna see us part..." Foxy sang the first thing that came to mind when Juliette appeared at her window- revolver loaded and at the ready. Behind him, Chaos rolled atop of Rush, whom had his fingers wrapped tightly around the puppy's neck, while Chaos tugged the beret the feline wore down over his head.
"The very thought of losing you means, that everything would go down under..." Foxy called lovingly into the air. Click went the revolver’s safety.
“Mom, can we PLEASE just go hungry?!” Chaos whimpered, leaning over the breakfast table to try and get his mother’s attention, whom sighed and flipped a page in her magazine.
“Hush Chaos. Pan tried very hard to make breakfast this morning. The least you could do is be appreciative that you have an older sibling who wants to feed you.” The elder coyote sighed, and flicked a casual glance towards Calamity’s sign post as Pandora presented two hours of labor in the guise of ‘breakfast.’ She’d gotten up early Saturday morning, and demanded to be allowed to cook breakfast- something Joy had found a significant hesitation in allowing her to do. She begged, however, and Joy, being the kindly mother that she was- gave in.
[Mom! Pandora is feeding us burnt rocks!] Calamity’s message read.
“They’re Hash Browns, Buttmuch!” Pandora snapped. Calamity rolled his eyes.
[Mom! Pandora is feeding us burnt rocks and pretending they’re Hash Browns!] Calamity’s signpost read.
“I think I’ll just have cereal.” Chaos sighed.
[Cereal is outlawed, remember?] Calamity snorted.
“Ahh yes, that fateful day when Pan set her Cheerios on fire when she was nine.”
[And subsequently mom’s hair]
“You two wouldn’t know a delicious homemade meal if it kicked you in the face.” Pandora snorted. Chaos rolled his eyes.
“I often have nightmares of your homemade meals physically attacking me, yes.” The coyote quipped and yelped when Pandora reached across the table and grabbed him by the scruff of his neck.
“I am THIS close to using you as a scratching post, pup!” She snapped, and Chaos gave a miserable sigh.
“How? You don’t have CLAWS.” He pointed out.
“CALAMITY! BUILD ME A SET OF CLAWS OR I’LL USE THEM TO CUT YOU!” Pandora hissed at her brother.
[Don’t drag me into this. It would be a claw-tastraphe]
There was an uncomfortable silence in the room.
“Sweetheart, for the last time, PLEASE, no puns at the table.” Joy whimpered.
“FINE! FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY! I work and I slave over a hot stove, and THIS is the thanks I get?!” The purple coyote snarled. Chaos glanced at Calamity.
“I don’t remember thanking you.” Chaos muttered. Pan gave a vicious snarl and stomped out of the room.
Miles approached with a casually swagger in his step- much of it caused by the towering stack of literature he grasped underneath his fingertips. Still, even as his legs trembled under the weight of reading, he paused where he stood, peering quietly at the pink, shaven girl sitting casually adjacent from him, humming a quiet tune of O’ Canada while precariously clutching at a glass of wine.
“Claire…?” Miles squeaked quietly. Surely it couldn’t be her, not in a library, not with a glass of wine. That didn’t even make sense, but the fem skunk turned with a bright smile tugging at her features and a heavenly chime in her voice.
“Miles!” She barked- loudly. The boy skunk stared in turn, eyeing the colored lenses that covered her eyes and more importantly- the bottle of half consumed wine next to her.
“…Are…Are you drinking?” He asked. He hadn’t meant to ask, but the words simply tumbled from his lips, spilling into the air like he’d no control over them. The French skunk beamed another dazzling smile and leaned back in her chair, damn near tumbling to the ground, before bursting into a peel of laughter.
“Drinking…? Oh! Oui! Oui, oui! I AM drinking! In fact…I am VERY drunk! C’est La Vie! …Miles! Would you like a drink too?” She giggled once again- a sound that bounced off the library’s multitude of walls and perked the ears of the grim looking vulpine sitting at the front desk- Misses Fondue.
“Well today is going to be interesting.” Miles sighed, and quickly dropped his stack of books atop the table, covering the bottle of wine from view as the angry Liberian approached the duo.
“I needn’t remind you two that Tom Foolery will not be permitted in the library. Keep it quiet. “ The vulpine snarled in an angry hiss, and turned sharply on her heel to return to the front desk. She was well aware of the little pink tongue that had slipped free of Miles’ lips as she walked away, but she didn’t care. If she kicked out every student that scoffed at her when back was turned, the library would be forever empty.
“That was close…” The boy winced, and glanced down at Claire- whom had collapsed to the floor in a series of barely stifled giggles.
“Miles! Miles! Did you know I ‘ave seven toes!?” The girl asked proudly, holding up her feet towards the befuddled skunk.
“…You have six toes. Claire. “ He sighed. His lips pursed into a gentle smile when her eyes widened in awe at the sudden surge of numerical information regarding her feet.
“…Mon dieuuuuuuuuuu…” She squeaked quietly, wiggling her toes in amazement. Somehow, Miles was quite sure alcohol had not been the skunk’s only indulgence this afternoon.
“We should probably go someplace where this isn’t a felony. Come on, up-seedaisy!” Miles squeaked, reaching down to pluck the skunk to her feet-, who lavishly giggled and leaned against him.
“Zat tickles Miles! I am shaven you know! Oooo, I know what we should do!” She squealed. Miles gave a gentle sigh.
“Shave?” He asked. She peered at him with a quiet glaze of alcohol across her features.
“…you stay outta my ‘ead…” She hissed softly and wobbled a moment, before giving the returning librarian an exaggerated salute.
Dana twisted quietly about the bed, rolling onto her back with a gentle sigh spilling from her warm pursed lips. It was just after her shower, and the smooth silky sheets of her satin covered bed pressed lovingly against the supple form of her glistening pink body. it was heaven. A cool summer breeze drifted in from a adjacent open window, and gentle beams of cool, silvery moonlight splashed across bed and her naked form illuminating her womanly curves, and the silvery pings that pierced her ears. The stage was set, and there was nothing more she'd rather have. Well...maybe one thing. "Orv..."She called- her voice riddled with a luster that could not be denied- riveted with a pitch-a tone of something sweet like honey and alluring like gold.
She spilt from her position, rolling onto her back onto the bed after her shower. The smooth silky sheets pressing against the supple form of her soft, pink body was heaven, and with the gentle beams of cool, silvery moonlight splashing down atop the bed and her naked form, there was nothing more she'd rather have. Well...maybe one thing. "Orv..."She called- her voice riddled with a lustre that could not be denied- rivited with a pitch-a tone of something sweet like honey and alluring like gold."
"Orv?" Dana called around, perking her ears- the multiple studs glistening and gleaming under the cool moonlight. There was no response. She paused thoughtfully, rolling the silky, satin blankets around her hips and gently pulled herself into a sitting position. It wasn't the original position she'd hoped he'd find her in- but it was still something that should make his beak crash to the ground. Silence weaved through the bedroom again. Where was that bird?!
"ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrV Mousies getting cooooooooooooooooold." She tried again. Her voice tickling the depths of want. There was a shudder on the staircase- a few heafty thumps and Dana gave a tremble. He was coming! Already her heart began to pulse in her chest, growing with speed as the big bird drew near. A romantic night for her and the bird- something she'd been waiting for, for weeks!
I BOUGHT SOME MAC AND CHEESE AND I -OHLORDSHOEBOX!" Orv shrieked as he accidentally tripped over Riot's shoebox, splattering the bed in hot creamy goodness. Hot cheese slowly trickles across Dana's heaving chest, meandering down her supple, pink form in slow, wet rivits, much like the same creamy streaks that had splattered across her face. All over her face, her ears, forehead and muzzle- leaving her very, very cheesed off.
"Was it good for you?" Asked Orv?
Fifi glanced around nervously, as she followed the nerdy boy in his home and down into the basement. This was how several horror movies got started, and while Fifi was sure that Calamity wasn’t a serial killer, she was slightly nervous at the prospect of being in his home. Still she felt slightly better when she caught sight of a familiar face- Chaos Coyote, the youngest of the siblings, was in the basement laboratory Calamity had lead them to. The little coyote had an unapologetic crush on her cousin; Claire La mouf, and more than once Fifi had found herself counseling the poor lad in terms of romance.
Calamity shooed him away with a quick exchange of words and turned towards Fifi when Chaos finally relented, leaving the two of them alone in the laboratory.
[Are you sure about this?] The sign post read. Calamity was already nuzzling buttons and caressing dials on a large console set up in the middle of the room. He didn’t seem to need a response- he knew what she wanted and what she was going to say, and Fifi was already nodding her head before he turned back to her and gestured towards a cold looking metallic table in the room. Like something out of a horror film.
Still, the female skunk clambered onto the cold table, shivering the moment the material pressed against the warm, purple expanse of her buns though her swimsuit and her breath caught in her throat. She couldn't believe what she'd asked Calamity to do for her- and the young scientist couldn't either.
The device the was pointing towards her chest was something only a depraved little geek like Calamity could come up with- and it was something Fifi was, at the moment, not sure she should be thankful for. It was supposed to enhance her chest- to force the meager little swells of sensitive girl flesh into full ripe melons of bouncing, bobbing, wobbling fun balloons that boys swooned over. The idea alone made her nipples perk and stiffen- standing up firmly under the thin rubbery material she was wearing. Still, it was an unnerving concept...what if the machine didn't work...what if it worked TOO well, what if it just zapped her into pudding?!
"Lose the shirt, rabbit. " Roderick snarled coldly, narrowing his eyes at the blushing blue bunny standing before him. Without a word, Buster immediately did as he was told, plucking his iconic red shirt from his plump, blue frame and laid it down neatly folded across the locker room bench. Sunday evening. Prefecto Prep's locker room once again, under Roderick's control, just like last time, the time before that and the time before that. And every time, Buster felt the oddest tingle rippling through his body.
"Good...good...been putting on weight, Buster? Looking a bit chubby down here. "Roderick teased, reaching out to press a rude finger against the side of Buster's jutting belly. The rabbit have a quiet huff, and shook his head, crossing his arms, whilst Roderick waiting for the correct response from the rabbit. Buster immediately balked.
"N, no...Sir. I'm...I'm not. " Buster stammered quietly, and Roderick rolled his eyes. He didn't particularly care one way or the other, and Buster was certain of it.
"On your knees, rabbit. I've got an early day tomorrow and I don't have time for games. You know exactly what you'll be doing- what you do best. "Roderick explained with a grimness that clung to his words and twisted his features into a sinister smile.
“Can you believe this?! They called me a slut! SHE called me a slut!!” The wolf snarled viciously, waving the newspaper around, as if her spastic actions would make it that much more readable to Chaos. He wasn’t paying attention anyway; he was far more worried about Rhubella mindlessly clicking at the mouse on his computer, trying to get it to ‘hack’ for her.
“She’s a bitch! She is totally a bitch!” The she rat snorted, aimlessly clicking on his splash screen while her tail flickered back and forth under her dress in agitation.
"She is SO not Perfecto material! She's snobby, and arrogant, and ignorant, and...and...she was wearing the EXACT SAME OUTFIT AND LOOKED BETTER THAN ME!" Rhubella snarled. Chaos rolled his eyes, as he had been ever since the two girls invaded his home and demanded his presence.
"Yes, that IS quite the shame, but I still don't see how this is MY problem. " The boy snorted. Juliette immediately whirled about and stuffed the rolled up newspaper against Chaos' chest.
"I am MAKING it your problem, Chaos. This girl has GOT to go, and as an Ex-perfect, you are hereby the only pup we can trust. Sides, you've always helped us before. As a Looneyversity looser, you're honor bound to be good guys, and that means you help us. Sara Dash has GOT to go!" Juliette snarked.
"Sides! She's a ROAD RUNNER. You, are a coyote. You're practically like, totally supposed to be drooling at the chance to catch her!" Rhubella snapped. Chaos, yet again, rolled his eyes.
"Look, just because I'm a coyote and she's a road runner, doesn't automatically define our roles. Geez, you guys. "The pup snorted, leaning back casually over his chair. Rhubella and Juliette peered at each other, before Rhubella took a step forward, rolling her fingertips across Chaos' shoulders gently.
"Well...if you catch her for us and get her out of our hair...I think I'd be so...moved by your big...sexy...intelligent brain, that I'd simply HAVE to ask you out on a date. " The rat churred warmly into the boy's ear. Chaos grinned.
"Ooooo, really?! A date?! I'd totally go for that- if I didn't already have a girlfriend. " He grinned. Rhubella's mouth dropped open. girlfriend?!
"Look, catch her, and you get my allowance AND Rhubella's allowance. For a month. " The wolf snapped.
"GIRLFRIEND?!" Rhubella snarled.
"I don't NEED you're allowance. I won the science fair last week. I'm set for the time being. But that's cool of you to offer. " Chaos grinned.
"You...have...a ...girlfriend?!" Rhubella whined.
"Alright wiseguy! You catch Sara Dash for us, and we give a month of our allowance to that stupid cat you hang out with. Furrball. How's THAT!" Juliette quipped, crossing her arms with a smug grin. She'd had him- cold.
"But who would DATE you. I mean, LOOK at you!" Rhubella whimpered.
"...Deal. " Chaos snapped. Sara Dash was the newest girl at Perfecto Perp, a road runner whom immediately taken to the school news paper- The Perfect Pages, and was now editor in chief. If she wasn't wildly texting on her phone, she was zipping left and right taking embarrassing, and compromising pictures of students in the worst possible positions. Apparently both Rhubella AND Juliette had become her latest victims, and now it was up to the one pup who was capable of doing something about it. Mission start...
There was something disconcerting about the day. Oh, sure the birds chirped, the grass was green and the sun was shining brightly. Ponyville was awash with sweet smelling fruits and the gentle hints of summer drifting in from a late spring. But still, something about the day made Spike ill at ease.
To start, Twilight woke up late. She was hardly ever late, and by hardly, Spike could only count once- when she had been ‘tardy’ with an assignment. But she was always up and out of bed when her alarm went off- as if she’d couldn’t grasp the function of the snooze button.
No, today she was a full twenty minutes late, pulling herself out of bed and getting the day started. By the time she made it downstairs, breakfast was cold and Spike had begun to worry if she were sick. Spike had to admit, she looked horrible, to be utterly frank. Her mane was sloppy and disheveled, and she stood on wobbly knees and a crooked posture that betrayed her usual upright and perfect stance. Something was clearly wrong. He’d also called her name three times, and had yet to receive a response- so there was that too.
“Twilight!” Spike snapped for the fourth time, his face twisted with a worry and finally- FINALLY her distant, bewildered expression focused on him.
“WHAT Spike?! I…I’m sorry…I…um…what? W, what is it? What were you saying?” Twilight stammered, shaking her head as if she were attempting to clear whatever murky clouds addled her brain. There was no luck in the endeavor. Spike frowned.
“I SAID you look terrible! Are you alright? Do you need me to get Nurse Redheart?” The plucky dragon asked. Twilight yawned and shook her head, forcing a thinly lipped smile at her companion.
“No. I’m fine. Just need to get some sleep. I keep…I keep having this nightmare, Spike. I can’t remember it though. It’s been happening over and over and over again, but every time I wake up I can’t remember it. Just that everyone was hurting…and I was alone. I was…cold, and scared, and alone somewhere very far away. I couldn’t help any of my friends and something bad was happening Spike. Something awful. But I just can’t remember what it was. “ She explained, sipping at a tasteless glass of orange juice Spike had pushed in front of her.
“Maybe you’re just nervous about the Princess going to another country on business. I bet it’s one of those psychotic-o-logically thingies!” Spike offered. For a moment- a thin, breath taking moment, Twilight wanted to yell. She wanted to tell him it was stupid, and that she wasn’t worried just because the Princess was leaving to another country, outside of Equestria- without her. Even though she practically begged to come.
“No. Spike.” Twilight grumbled. The dragon didn’t press the issue, and to that end, Twilight was grateful. She was grumpy and she knew it- lack of sleep, the first and obvious reason, but maybe, he was onto something. Regardless, the reason, she had to get some sleep and soon, or her next report to the princess would be scribbles of nonsense and loosely compiled thoughts. The mare shook her head, mumbling quietly to herself while her gaze drifted into the distance again. She had to do something…and soon.
“Well Suga’cube, iffin’ ya’ll asks me, I reckon a good day’s work would do you mighty good for sleep problems. All that studyin’ ain’t gonna make ya good n’ tired like buckin’ trees all day. Heh, trust me, come to Sweet Apple Acres and I’ll work ya good n’ hard. You’ll sleep like a babe! I know I do.” Apple jack explained while Twilight perused her books. Regardless of the fact that her friends had come over to fetch her for the picnic they were supposed to be having, Twilight had found herself late again- searching through her library for a solution to her insomnia and nightmares, and she rolled her eyes at Applejack’s suggestion. That was stupid. She wasn’t going to spend all day at some barn to kick trees when there was REAL work to be done.
“AJ’s got a point, Twi! You get a work out, you go to sleep. I mean duh, for an egghead, that oughta be simple! Race me at Sunridge vally. You’ll lose, of course, but that’s not the point. The point is, you’ll wear yourself out and fall asleep in no time flat.” Rainbow Dash quipped. The blue Pegasus was hovering upside down, and circling the library in a fashion that was making Twilight’s mane stand up on end. Everything she though Rainbow was going to crash into something, the pony switched directions and nimbly avoided an accident. It was driving her crazy- and her suggestion of wearing herself out was almost as stupid as Applejack’s. The unicorn drew in a breath. She just needed to find the book she was looking for. She knew what it was, the title on the tip of her tongue- she just needed a moment without a distraction to concentra-
“Wrong. She’s already tired, you two, and making her MORE tired won’t do the trick. Twilight dear, what you NEED is to relax. Draw a hot bath, get some silk sheets. A designer comforter. A scented pillow. I guarantee you, darling, you snuggle up in those and you’ll fall asleep before your head hits the pillow! “ The other unicorn in the room explained with a cheerful air of superiority. Rarity. Twilight gave a heated snort and continued to browse her massive selections of tombs.
Ridiculous. Her bed was just –fine- but that was typical of Rarity to act like a know it all. What was her IQ anyway? Lower, Twilight was sure, but she just HAD to act like a sno-
“I think some herbal tea might make you drowsy, Twilight. I can make you my own special batch, if you like. Sometimes, I have trouble falling asleep when I think of all the poor birds, and bunnies and kittens and puppies out in the world without homes. Sometimes I get so worried I just can’t even close my eyes! “A quiet little mouse sized voice squeaked out from somewhere in the room. Twilight however, couldn’t make out what Fluttershy was saying- nor did she have the energy or concentration to focus on it, like she usually did. She had to try so hard to listen to the her tiny whisper of a voice, and now with her lack of sleep, Fluttershy sounded even further away than normal. The yellow Pegasus was standing next to Rarity in the middle of the room, and yet Twilight couldn’t hear her. Why on Earth couldn’t Fluttershy talk at normal levels. Just once!? Didn’t she see how tired Twilight was? Didn’t she notice how-
“ABOOGA-BOOGA- BOOGA!!” Pinkie- Pie shrieked, the pink mare quite suddenly bursting out of the shelf Twilight was browsing, screaming with a tribal mask glued to her face she’d gotten from somewhere. Twilight screeched and tumbled back on her rump, eyes wide with fear and surprise. Pinkie burst into giggles and lifted the mask from her face, grinning brightly.
“I figured I didn’t know how to put you ta sleep, so I’d just wake ya up instead! Did it work?! Are you awake?! I can try again if it didn’t!” She quipped brightly, barley able to contain the giggles the threatened to spill past her lips.
“Out.” Twilight hissed, her voice a twisted and trembling snarl. Before any pony could ask what the unicorn meant, Twilight threw up her hooves, her horn glowing with an angry burst of violent purple.
“Wha-” Applejack began, but was quickly cut off when Twilight leapt to her hooves with a blazing look of fury in her eye.
“I SAID OUT! EVERYBODY OUT! I DON’T WANT ANY TEA, I DON’T WANT TO KICK TREES AND I DON’T NEED A BATH! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME THINK!” And with that, they were gone. Removed magically from Twilight’s presence, and leaving Twilight to herself. It was quiet now. No Applejack, no Pinkie Pie, no Rarity, no Fluttershy and no Rainbow Dash. The only other creature left with a heartbeat in the room was Spike, who was slowing coming to realize this problem was going to get worse before it got better.
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