lets talk about dani

dani was short and darkskinned, dark haired, curvy, eyes so dark they were almost black, probably the most beautiful smile ever


we met through a mutual friend and dani came off as this tough metalhead longer kind of person and sometimes we wore the same Cannibal Corpse shirts, which i thought was really cool because no one else in the school owned one

but every time we came in contact we'd both clam up and sit there and sweat and stare at our feet


id had questions about my sexuality for a long time and i finally thought to myself, "if i could get dani, I could NEVER be asexual, she is literally perfect in EVERY WAY"


so, like, a year and a half later

November 27th i finally manned up and asked her out and we went out and we still clammed up and stared at our feet and mumbled at the movies and over meals but it was together you know?



and as soon as i had dani

i did not want dani


i had mistaken admiration and a yearning for friendship for romantic feelings and i had lead on this girl who'd never had a serious boyfriend, was super shy, talked madly about me whenever i was gone to her best friend, looked at me like i was god damn jesus





and i lead her on, and every time we were together, i was uncomfortable, and i was moody, and i was short with her, and i was shitty


in fact, i was the shittiest!




finally she asked to go to the mall with me sunday (would've been last sunday) and i couldn't be so fucking shitty anymore and i told her how it was


and wow she stormed out of school crying and telling her best friend not to touch her and to fuck off!!! wow im so cool




wow i hate myself








wow