"Grrrrr" Chaos grinned, looking at himself in the mirror, wiping away the fog that had settled due to his recent shower.

"What? Oh, no Rhubella, I'm sorry, I can't date you, I have a girlfriend. Oh, thats right? Didn't you hear? I'm a macho man. Macho macho man...I'm a macho man...macho macho man...I want to be a macho man! Wait...is it macho or Nacho? Thats a dumb song anyway. OH! I'm too sexy for my fur, so sexy for my fur, so sexy it hurts!" The pup crooned and perked an ear when the door rattled with a furious pound.

"IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR MANGY BUTT OUT OF THERE I'M GONNA TIE YOUR EARS TO THE TRAIN TRACKS!!" An elderly sister roared. Chaos rolled his eyes.

"I'm busy being a hottie. But I can see why you'd be angry, looking the way you do. I on the other paw, am a sex puppy." Chaos snorted, looking himself in the mirror and flexing his biceps.

"Thats right Claire, I know we're not apart of the NRA but today we're heading to the gun show...ka-chow, ka-chow! Oh? What? I know you thought I had nerdy specs, but check out these MANLY PECS! This booty? It's a powerhouse of love makin! I yam a BEEFCAKE! BEEFCAKE PUP! GRRRR So sexy! I give women the vapors! And I- "Chaos squeaked and frowned when his voice was drowned out by helpless laughter from behind the door. The pup sighed and narrowed his eyes.

"Comments from the peanut gallery will be ignored. " Chaos snarled, and yelped when the door flew open and Pandora glared, trying her best to look menacing while at the same time, trying to keep from tumbling to the floor in giggles.

"You're hilarious...You're absolutely adorable...But seriously, GTFO of the bathroom or I'll force feed you your own butt. " Pandora snarled, and punted her brother from the steamy room.

"You're just jealous I'm a clavicle of manly! Stud pup- thats me! I'm like James Dean with Wolverine claws! I'm like Daniel Craig's chiseled good looks with Hugh Jackman's bad boy charm! I'm like a wet dream that broke the dam and cause a tsunami! A natural disaster of SEX! I AM A SEX DISASTER" The boy hollered.

"Chaos, what the HELL are you talking about? Why are you standing in the hallway, in a towel, proclaiming you are a natural sex disaster?!" Joya snarled as she climbed the stairs to the second floor- finding her son yelling at the bathroom door. The boy turned, blushing furiously and bit at his lower lip with a quiet, humiliated whimper.

"My child. I beginning to worry about you. I'd send you off for professional help but I don't want to put another person through ...you. So I need you to dig deep down, find the intelligence I gave you, and cling to that like you cling to your man crush on Wile E. Coyote." Joy whispered and padded off to her bedroom before Chaos could get a word in edge wise.

"I'm an earthquake of an orgasm! A maelstrom of menstruation! A flood of fellatio! " The puppy boosted. Joy, whom had collapsed to her knees in giggles, stuck her head out of the room, and snarled.

"Chaos, I want you to imagine this. Every time you talk, you're opening a portal somewhere on the planet. From this portal, swarm bees- millions of bees. Those bees are stinging a child. Now pretend that child Is my perception of your IQ. What I need from you, is to stop talking, immediately. Can you do that sweetie? Can you? Because every time you speak, that child dies a little more." Joy whined.

"But mom! I'm the mayor of Sextopolious!" The pup squeaked. Joy sighed and fetched a squirt bottle from the bathroom, which she kept handy for situations like this.

"NO! BAD PUPPY!" Joy shouted, spritzing Chaos across the face, causing the boy to squeal and race for his room. She gave a sigh and shook her head- parenting stupid kids was hard.

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I had this idea in my head all day and  Ribnose pulled it off marvelously! Go get some art from her! She's worth it!