There's a good phrase in Irish that can inspire -
"Tús maith, leath na h-oibre."
It means "A good start is half the work."
This good start has great promise - I want to know more!

Thanks. I agree a good start makes a world of difference.

I agree with Metassus. When I read, the author has exactly two pages to grab me. If he can't... no matter who it is... I don't read further. I read for author first and subject second - meaning I have to like what I am reading or it means nothing.

I had the mental image of around 1925 - his brother stayed behind in France after the war with no word of why.

At least that's what I saw...

*Hugs.. Vixyy

Thanks, I’m pretty much the same way with the start of any story. I always thought it best to grab a reader in the first paragraph if possible.

Not bad at all, way too short but a really good start. Don't worry too much about the time limit, it is an aid, not a rule. The idea is to write.

It may be short but to me time wasn’t a factor in this one. It seemed right to finish where it did. Then again if it had been outside a prompt I may have added more to it and gone further. Who knows.

I know it's just an exercise, but this seems a touch disorganized. I couldn't get with the dialogue at first and had to re-read. Still pretty good though.

I went over it again and see what you mean. I always seem to do that if I don’t pay enough attention.
Thanks for the heads up.

Interesting start. You might even want to try continuing this, or fleshing it out more, with future prompts. Thanks for sharing. :)

Thanks for the complement, and for organizing this.

I don’t know if I’ll return to this or not, time will tell.

Great prose. Pity you ended it so abruptly. This had some potential in it, I think.