I've been thinking to myself; what if Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 was on Steam with Super Street Fighter 4: Arcade Edition? Would it have Team Fortress 2 promotional items? If it did, here's what I came up with.

Spirit of Vengeance (Pyro)
"Long have you played with fire, boy -- but now, you're playing with Hellfire."

The SoV is a Ghost Rider themed hat for the Pyro with its own effect; your head is on fire. Also, the Pyro's mask has a skull paint on it.

Flying Boston Dragon (Scout)
"Cypher, Ouroboros, legions of robot tigers and eagles, and batteries not included."

The FBD would be headwear for the Scout consisting of a Strider Hiryu wig and scarf.

Hawk's Eye (Sniper)

"The one thing that makes you better than the hero that wore this? You have a rifle."

The Hawk's Eye, if you haven't guessed, is a Sniper hat consisting of Hawkeye's headgear. Fun Fact: I named my Huntsman the "Kiss of Fire" after one of Hawkeye's Hyper Combos.

Little Devil (All Class)

"As long as your name is not Arthur, you'll be fine with this guy watching you fight."

The Little Devil would be wearable headgear by all classes, and is simply a little Firebrand plush that rests on your head, watching you fight. Wear him, he's cute!

Doctor Stranger (Medic)

"You've heard the Doctor Strangelove jokes. You've put your saw through those who tell them."

The Doctor Stranger is a Medic hat that adds Doctor Strange's collar to your coat. Whether or not this would change team color is beyond me.

Soviet Tyrant (Heavy)

"S.A.N.D.V.I.C.H..."

The Soviet Tyrant is a headwear item for the Heavy which stitches on parts of Nemesis' head, as well as his collar. It's terrifyingly awesome, but there will be no Heavy tentacles. Sorry.

ADDED BONUS: Sort of like the Robot Soldier lines for when he wore the Halloween items, the Soviet Tyrant would give the Heavy an extra added Battle Cry of "S.T.A.R.S.!" to add onto the Heavy's other shouts.

Spy-ron Fist (Spy)

"K'un-Lun? What's that? I just nixed this off of some dope in slippers!"

The Spy-ron Fist, if you'll excuse the cheesy name, is a Iron Fist themed hat for the Spy. Why the Spy? Well, I feel with his stealth skill and tounge of deciet, he'd be registered as a lethal weapon too.

Dark Angel (Spy)

"Rest in peace...and with a knife in your back."

The Dark Angel is yet another Spy hat, this time a wig modeled after Vergil. Might controls, cloaks, disguises as, and stabs everything.

Human Rocket (Soldier)

"Despite the title, we do not advise you to try and launch yourself out of your own launcher, Soldier."

The Human Rocket is a Nova helmet for the Soldier. It fits because Nova is a soldier of the Nova Corps, and the Solider is a lieutenant, private, and general of whatever Corps he can make up in his silly little head.

The Feenie (Scout)

"Despite your urges to point and yell, you feel like you're coming on with a cold, and have a strange craving for grape juice."

The Feenie is another Scout hat, this one being a Phoenix Wright wig. It fits if you have the Conscientious Objector with an OBJECTION bubble on it, but there's also this...

ADDED BONUS: It's better to have the Feenie worn when using the Sandman or the Atomizer. Why? The taunt is changed slightly. When the Scout points before swinging, his finger glistens (similar to Phoenix Wright in his intro pose) and the effect bubble that once said "BONK" instead will say "OBJECTION!" "HOLD IT!" or "TAKE THAT!" with the added Phoenix Wright clip.

My Version of a Coonskin Cap (Engineer)

"Notes to PETA, this is not made from real space raccoon."

Based off of one of Rocket Raccoon's opening lines, the MVoaCC is a Rocket Raccoon hat for the Engineer. It was actually intended for the Sniper, but it fits the Engineer too. The idea for the hat's model came from the promotional "Max's Severed Head" hat.

Fantastic Scoop (Demoman)

"Film not included. May or may not smell of zombie or psycho clown, or have covered wars."

This is actually not a hat, but a miscellaneous item for the Demoman, which in short, is Frank West's camera, and since its not a hat, you can wear it with the Killer Exclusive for best effect, or be a funky photographer from the 70s with the Demoman's Fro.

And that's about it. Whether or not these would be paintable is a decision I'd have to make, but since stuff like the KE or Max can be painted, this might as well. Basically, out of all these, everything but the Fantastic Scoop and the Spirit of Vengeance would be paintable.

FINAL NOTE: These are NOT real hats, but since I have 3DS Max now and friends with the UMVC3 source files, they might just become hat reskins.