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Here he is all full of adventurer >:3
Category Artwork (Traditional) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 150 x 210px
File Size 4.8 kB
Well, it seems pretty cool so far, but I'm really not a fan of any of the dialogue and story telling so far, everything seems to just be happening and everyone's ok with it, or the text is a bit confusing ]:8P Luna's also insanely powerful, 1100+ a hit is a bit crazy. But, much potential here, I definitely can tell you've been putting some good effort into this ]:8) Looking forward to more. Feel free to ask if you want any help! *slurps ya* I will work for food... *drools on you*
*giggles* you can have as much ov me as you like when the project's done ;3
and could you send me an e-mail wilt screenshots of hte confusing parts x3?
nad yeah, luna's a god right now x3 she's using a weapon from really late in the game, that I need to make a weaker version of (claws x3 wtf?)
but what do you mean you're not a fan of it x3 is it too arbitrary x3?
and could you send me an e-mail wilt screenshots of hte confusing parts x3?
nad yeah, luna's a god right now x3 she's using a weapon from really late in the game, that I need to make a weaker version of (claws x3 wtf?)
but what do you mean you're not a fan of it x3 is it too arbitrary x3?
I'd be sending you too many screenshots ]X8D It's all giving me the impression of a bad or limited translation ]:8P If you've ever played the GBA version of Tales of Phantasia (not sure about the PS2 port) you might understand what I mean, definitely not the most skilled interpreters writing out the dialogue... Emotion seems either forced or near non-existent. The entire story was in the intro and now it's like "Oh, Dracula's castle is here, was wondering when it'd show up!" and the characters just roll with it as if this cataclysmic occurance is an everyday thing. The moment when you meet Luna was especially confusing because I had no idea what happened until after it was mentioned she was a werewolf girl and saved my life but from what I am not even sure, was that a trap or a demon or was that suit of armor just covering up a volcanic eruption or what? ]:8. A lot of it isn't just confusing, it's just poorly scripted, to be blunt. It's rather hard to follow. Aside from all that, I've noticed some grammer and spelling errors. No worries though if that isn't one of your strong points ]:8) That's actually something I wouldn't mind helping with, because I'm a fairly good writer. Everyone who's read anything from me really enjoyed it so just ask if you want more to check out than my singular story on my FA gallery. I've a writing.com interactive and a birthday gift to edit and add to before I make it public.
On a semi related note, I don't like the text, it's hard to read in the fancy box you have for it, especially considerring it's a very stylized font. It's a lovely font but rather hard to make out at times. If at all possible, give it an outlined effect so it's easier to read in any situation. Black surrounding white is quite easy to read ]:8)
On a semi related note, I don't like the text, it's hard to read in the fancy box you have for it, especially considerring it's a very stylized font. It's a lovely font but rather hard to make out at times. If at all possible, give it an outlined effect so it's easier to read in any situation. Black surrounding white is quite easy to read ]:8)
love too, but it's not my font ^-^;
and I know that part doesn't work @.@ for some reason the game won't do what I want it too, she's supposed to run and jump in the way right before it fires, but the friggen event won't trigger >.<
and actually I'm a good writer too (if someone would read my damn stories >.< noone's commented on Akumajou dracula Densetsu >.<) but I typed really fast, and I almost always have misspellings. and michelo's not relaly very stunted by the whole ordeal because it's in his family line. he's momentarily surprised, but he's been told all about it >.>
the people in the school don't even know what's going on. and.. there's not really anyone else x3
I'll see what I can do to revamp the dialogue... but I rather like it >.>
and I know that part doesn't work @.@ for some reason the game won't do what I want it too, she's supposed to run and jump in the way right before it fires, but the friggen event won't trigger >.<
and actually I'm a good writer too (if someone would read my damn stories >.< noone's commented on Akumajou dracula Densetsu >.<) but I typed really fast, and I almost always have misspellings. and michelo's not relaly very stunted by the whole ordeal because it's in his family line. he's momentarily surprised, but he's been told all about it >.>
the people in the school don't even know what's going on. and.. there's not really anyone else x3
I'll see what I can do to revamp the dialogue... but I rather like it >.>
I guess the best thing to do would be to make the text boxes less fancy. Just give them nice borders or something ]:8P otherwise it may be best to try and find another font, though if you can find an outlined version of it, that should work, too.
If you're happy with what you have, it may be better if you introduced more dialogue and build up and explanation. It all just happens and it's like "Eh, so what?" ]:8P I can understand if he's been expecting it all this time, but Michelo's treating it as if he's seen it a dozen times and is just waiting his turn to try it out, or something. Ever play baseball? He might as well be going up to bat. "Oh, looks like it's my turn, hope I hit a homerun instead of striking out!" I get the same kind of vibe. "I hope I kill Dracula instead of dying or being eaten!"
As to the event, I'm guessing that you have it ordered wrong? I don't know RPG maker nor how it's set up but it sounds like either there's a mixup in the order of triggers. Maybe there's a loophole? Something isn't closed or ended correctly?
On another note, I'll check out some of your stories sometime ]:8)
Murr at Cerberus, btw, I REALLY hope you work with that more, some sound effects would be awesome ];8D I've got one or two you might not have heard if you want me to send them, and if you've got audio ripping software there's lots of sounds among games and vore clips to try instead of everyone just using Duamutef's sounds which are mostly just the Warcraft III kodo ]:8P Not to mention it might be fun making your own... ]X8D
If you're happy with what you have, it may be better if you introduced more dialogue and build up and explanation. It all just happens and it's like "Eh, so what?" ]:8P I can understand if he's been expecting it all this time, but Michelo's treating it as if he's seen it a dozen times and is just waiting his turn to try it out, or something. Ever play baseball? He might as well be going up to bat. "Oh, looks like it's my turn, hope I hit a homerun instead of striking out!" I get the same kind of vibe. "I hope I kill Dracula instead of dying or being eaten!"
As to the event, I'm guessing that you have it ordered wrong? I don't know RPG maker nor how it's set up but it sounds like either there's a mixup in the order of triggers. Maybe there's a loophole? Something isn't closed or ended correctly?
On another note, I'll check out some of your stories sometime ]:8)
Murr at Cerberus, btw, I REALLY hope you work with that more, some sound effects would be awesome ];8D I've got one or two you might not have heard if you want me to send them, and if you've got audio ripping software there's lots of sounds among games and vore clips to try instead of everyone just using Duamutef's sounds which are mostly just the Warcraft III kodo ]:8P Not to mention it might be fun making your own... ]X8D
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