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Some time after I had written Ship's Log, I was going through a bunch of different story ideas. I had happened upon a site called FanStory (I believe...its been a long while), and began reading and writing stories on there. One of the main stories I had started writing before I moved on from the site was called Cloak of Dreams.
I had recently gone through my old story archive and came across Cloak of Dreams again. Just like with Ship's Log, there are parts I like how I wrote, and other parts where I just question what the heck I was on at the time. I noticed a lot of my earlier stories either borrowed heavily on books I was reading at the time, or flying off on a tangent I day dreamed.
Cloak of Dreams started as neither of these, but as a way to write an actual story in the little universe I had created for myself and my characters. The prologue I love. Everything else? I started going off on tangents and day dreams.
So, I'm going to start with posting this, and resurrect this story from the grave. But...I'm going to rewrite everything after the prologue, because after this intro, the story takes a nosedive from 'oh this might be interesting' into 'what the heck is going on?'
I had recently gone through my old story archive and came across Cloak of Dreams again. Just like with Ship's Log, there are parts I like how I wrote, and other parts where I just question what the heck I was on at the time. I noticed a lot of my earlier stories either borrowed heavily on books I was reading at the time, or flying off on a tangent I day dreamed.
Cloak of Dreams started as neither of these, but as a way to write an actual story in the little universe I had created for myself and my characters. The prologue I love. Everything else? I started going off on tangents and day dreams.
So, I'm going to start with posting this, and resurrect this story from the grave. But...I'm going to rewrite everything after the prologue, because after this intro, the story takes a nosedive from 'oh this might be interesting' into 'what the heck is going on?'
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 4.1 kB
Well this is some pretty good writing =D. However I do have a couple of issues with it. First and foremost it seems very platitudinous to me. Go to a used book store and check out the fantasy and sci fi sections...there are hundreds of books that seem to be just another story about magic or space or something. If you're going to write about this kind of stuff you really need to be different, your story must be totally unique and really pull the reader into it. The title was cool, that's the only reason why I bothered to even read it, and as I said I like your writing, but you need some really vivid ideas, as a whole it's good, just needs some tweaking. Oh and please feel free to check out my story Ferret Vulpsi: Anthrodroid and tell me everything you like and dislike about it now XD. Keep writing!
Thanks for the comment and critique!
This and my other story I've uploaded here are pretty old. Around 2001 for Ships Log, and this one not long afterward. Like I said in my comments, I look back at these and some of what I read are just 'what the heck was I thinking...'
Hopefully with my new work I alleviate the problems with my old stories.
This and my other story I've uploaded here are pretty old. Around 2001 for Ships Log, and this one not long afterward. Like I said in my comments, I look back at these and some of what I read are just 'what the heck was I thinking...'
Hopefully with my new work I alleviate the problems with my old stories.
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