V. simple, v. well done. And who says magic (and reality) doesn't work this way?

     Two tiny editing touch-ups for you? Attribution: use Janelle's name a couple more times
(vs. she said) in the part with the 'sprite.'

     Physical descriptions: one sentence, all you need, to show these two girls. Right at the
top. We infer their age (children), can help to see 'em.

     Liked this one. Moah story possible here.

FB.

Thanks for the feedback! I'll make those corrections when I get the chance but right now I'm working on another project.