In the mythical world of Everdale, a lithe, archer lizardman named Sladesh decides to team up with a bulky, flatulent black minotaur named Morltar and the two partners go on adventures together, using both of their talents to fight evil, get in or out of trouble, or to just stink up the joint.


Part 9: Reuster decides to show off his special flatulent skills by re-lighting a campfire for Morltar and Sladesh. It doesn't go as planned when the flames start to ignite all the trees in the forest...

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It was cold out now, as late autumn in Everdale came to sweep away the last of summer. In a forest in the boondocks of the land, the mighty trees were red and orange and yellow, the ground littered with same colored leaves. It was here in a clearing that Sladesh, Morltar and their new friend Reuster were making camp. It was overcast today, and the coldest day of autumn so far. Their supplies were running low, so their little campfire was measly. The lizardman lied against the great resting dragon for warmth, just behind his forearm. Even then, Sladesh couldn't help but rub his arms and keep his tail wrapped around himself. "Sure glad we picked you up, Reuster. Winter's going to be a REAL pain."
Morltar chuckled as he watched the two reptiles cuddling up with each other. "You lizards and your cool blood. I don't understand how you live through winter without keeping yourselves warm with all your farts."
Sladesh gives Morltar an irritated look. "Oh, look at the big fancy mammal over here! With all the fat you store in your ass you could hibernate for the whole season, I bet." He shared a snicker with the dragon. Since finding him, Sladesh has noted Reuster has been quite like a guard dog: affectionate yet protective. The lizardman chalked it up to all the isolation messing with him. "Bet it's been a while since you've seen the fall colors, huh Reuster?"
"Yeah...it's nice to be out of that dank cave. Sitting on top of your own riches is fun and all, but after a while you start to crave fresh air. ...Not to mention you get a bit lonely."
Sladesh nods. "A little adventuring will be good for you. We're your new family, after all." After he says this, the fire suddenly goes out. "Ugh, that's the THIRD TIME!" Sladesh exclaims, springing up. "We need to get a bigger one going. Morltar, I'll need you to get the logs..."
As the minotaur began to head over and gather more firewood, the giant red dragon smirked and turned around, aiming his fat rump at the burnt out wood. He grinned before lifting his tail and letting out a loud, sputtering fart. However, he managed to control the flame so that it wasn't huge. Although, the dragon let out more fire than he anticipated.
Sladesh jumped to the side. "Wa-oh! Warning next time, remember Reuster?" He still had to train the dragon on certain things now that he's back in the world. "That should be enough now...uh, whoa, why aren't you stopping???" The gush of flames keep coming, and soon a few trees become ignited.
Reuster giggled with a wide smile on his face and stopped farting. "Relax, Sladesh! It's only a few..." The dragon turned around and noticed that he definitely let out more flames than he should. One of the nearby oak trees was slowly beginning to burn, the flames skittering up the bark and setting branches alight. "Uh...oops."
Sladesh coughs, waving his hand. He was used to Morltar's foul gas, but not the dragon's quite yet. His eyes watering, he watches more trees catch fire. "Oh, Reuster, look what you did! It's been dry, this whole forest is going to go up with us in it!" He looked around for the minotaur. "Damn, I shouldn't have sent him off. How are we going to put it all out?"
"Er...what about a backfire? I could make a bigger fire with my farts, then we can sit back and wait until it all burns itself out."
Sladesh stares at the dragon. "Put out a fire with EVEN MORE FIRE?" he demands. The mind he prides himself so often in having works. He sighs, and decides to let the big red try it out. "Okay, try it out. But this better work!"
Reuster ran over to an untouched section of the forest before he shook his ass and pointed his posterior at the trees. Feeling his stomach gurgling, the dragon waited until he felt the fire building up in his anus before he decided to let it all out. "You'd better hold your nose, Sladesh. ...There, I warned you," said the dragon with a smirk.
Sladesh guesses it was good that Reuster ate that barrel of ham and beans they found before this. Washed down with a lot of baked cabbage. Sladesh waits until his friend is poised before using a pair of wood clips on his nostrils. "Ready!"
The giant red dragon groaned after his stomach gurgled again and promptly let out a giant burst of hydrogen-sulfide and flames. The forest was filled with the obnoxious sound of sputtering as the gas bubbles vibrated against the dragon's tailhole; the bright fire shot out of his ass with great force. Several trees were set alight, and a fire began to overshadow the previous one quite fast.
Sladesh looks on as the flames only increase. "Oh NO! Reuster, you just made it worse!" he says, in a tone that is chastising. "This whole forest is gonna go up!" He goes over to his bag and rummages through it. "I guess I'll have to fix it. Nnngh, I thought I had an ice or a water summoning scroll here...damn it!"
Reuster turned around and looked at the humongous fire he just started and frowned. He really wished he could blow ice breath from his mouth. "Damn. Err...fly away?" Just when Reuster was about to dash, Morltar popped up and stood behind the two reptiles with a smirk on his face. "Wow, even my farts aren't this powerful! You guys need my help?"
"Reuster," Sladesh says in a tone that sounds like a father instructing a son; in a way, he IS this to the dragon, or potentially can be. "You never run away from your mistakes, you have to clean 'em up!" Then Morltar appears. The lizardman sighs, flicks his tail and faces his partner. "Yeah, we need to put out these fires! Now, you two are in luck that I just found my ice potion." He beckons the minotaur with a not-so-nice grin on his face.
"...What? Is this gonna involve shoving something up my butt?"
Sladesh waves a hand. "No no, this time it's just oral ingestion. Of course, it'll make your stomach bloated up even more than it is, and it might sting a LITTLE when it all comes out.
"Um...what does in-ges-tion mean again?"
Sladesh simply hands the potion to Morltar and mimics drinking it. "Like a beer," he says.
Morltar sniffed the potion before shrugging, noticing there was no odor to the drink. He quickly chugged the bottle of potion before gulping hard and smacking his lips. "Hmm...I don't really feel different."
Sladesh tapped his clawed foot on a log, waiting. "Give it a few seconds....right abooout...now!"
Morltar looked down at his stomach after hearing it churn and noticed that it was beginning to inflate itself, almost like a balloon. Morltar groaned as he heard it bubbling and felt a strange, cold gas rushing towards his bowels.
Sladesh moves to his side. "Get on all fours, buddy. I'm going to have to direct your line of fire again if we want to fight this!" Of course, he grabs the minotaur's powerful tail to use as a steering rod.
The minotaur did what his reptilian buddy said and promptly got on all fours. He lifted his tail and aimed his fat black buttocks at the giant forest fire. Unable to hold it in any longer, Morltar grunted and let out a strong trail of bright blue, freezing gas. It was so cold that it began to burn Morltar's asshole; he was actually beginning to wish he farted fire like Reuster.
"Yeah, that's the ticket!" Sladesh says with a half-crazed laugh. He sweeps Morltar with each tug of his tail, the trees covered by the stream of icy gas. The fire finally looks like it's starting to die down. "Keep it up; don't stop even if it feels like you need to."
"MY ASS HURTS!" shouted Morltar. For the very first time, the chubby bull didn't want to fart. But for the sake of killing the forest fire, he continued to pass his frosty blue gas. The air was filled with the same obnoxious sputtering sound, but instead of flames and a rotten stench, the whole forest was getting covered in frost and ice, with hardly any smell whatsoever.
"Just a little further buddy, I promise I'll get you some ointment for it," Sladesh says reassuringly. At last, long last, the fires are largely put out. Sladesh lets go of Morltar's tail and whaps him on the rump. "We saved the forest, thanks to you!"
Morltar exhaled with relief and collapsed to his stomach, panting and groaning as he grabbed his fat ass, trying to soothe the pain. "Ow...I can't even imagine what would happen if that potion turned my shit into ice..."
Sladesh rummaged in his bag and held out a jar of ointment to the minotaur. "I'm proud of you, buddy," he says. "Let's hope it's all out of your system...if not, I suggest you keep that jar with you!" He looks towards Reuster. "Next time, be careful with your derriere, alright?"
Reuster huffed. "Fine...I'll just hold it or fart down a well or hole. I, err, should warn you about something else though. You know how I can fart fire?"
Sladesh nods. "Yeah, that's pretty obvious, why?"
"Yeeeeaaaah, you're probably not gonna enjoy what my poo looks like then..."
Sladesh thinks about this, then starts to laugh. "Gahahahaha! You're something else, Reuster!'