The beginning is one of the most important of a work as it serves to grasp the audience’s attention. This ending does not serve this purpose. An opening is best opened with interesting description, novel dialogue, action, or another form that imposes upon the reader.
Characterization needs to be introduced throughout a text and not told by the protagonist to the audience. Introduce characters through naturel dialogue, or reflection.
Show through description instead of telling through details and narration. In first person do that by reflection off of the princess’s senses and her interaction with her environment.
You have very strong dialogue though that gives the characters voice.
Use anthropomorphic imagery to help reinforce to the characters anthropomorphic traits.

Thank you very much. Though, In truth, I think it would be best to rewrite it, not that I have much choice, it was deleted by mistake earlier today..

Download it from FA, and get at it than.