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THURSDAY
The office was empty and barren, no longer swollen with tasks that needed to be done. No papers to grade, no essay’s to read and no long winded speeches about traps that could have worked- should have worked. Chaos had Wile’s office all to himself!
The pup kicked his feet up onto the elder canine’s lavish desk and gave a quiet sigh. He didn’t know where the professor was, and honestly, that wasn’t something that he was going to try to fix. He’d spent the better portion of the day cleaning the coyote’s messy office, and now, with only a few minutes before lunch, he’d finally finished! With a yawn, he let his eyes drift shut, and wriggled his bottom into the cushy leather padded chair the professor had behind his desk. Everything was clean and spotless- the little T.A. had done his job and done it well and now there was nothing left to do…but wait. And nap.
Somewhere on the campus grounds, a shriek rippled through the area, grasping at the ears of every student and teacher alike. Chaos was dangling by his ears; feet aimlessly and helplessly kicking out from underneath him, while Wile Coyote helped liberate Chaos from the elder coyote’s favorite seat.
“Ahhh, Chaos. I trust you’ve collected my meal, eh ole chap? You must have already completed your assignment- that’s the only reason you would be in here, instead of working on it- and sitting in my favorite chair- which I told you to stay off of.” The angry coyote snarled, fangs glittering in front of the puppy’s face.
Chaos gave a sheepish sort of giggle and tried to ease his ears from Wile’s furious iron grasp, haplessly searching for an answer that might earn him the slightest edge of sympathy from the angry canine. No such luck. “Ummmmmmm when was that due, again?” The puppy whimpered, and yelped as Wile opened the door to his office and shuffled them both towards the front of the school.
“I believe the deadline was Friday dear boy. Where upon I shall be consuming that pretty little naked skunk you so keenly oogle when you think I’m not looking. You promised me you’d have her baked, or boiled or fried, and sitting in my dining room, served with the finest of French wines.” Wile explained, to which Chaos pursed his lips in confusion.
“Baked Claire? While that’s ‘accurate’ that doesn’t sound like something I’d say.” He muttered quietly. Wile perked his ears at the youth’s defiance and yanked Chaos up until he was nose to nose with his would-be hero.
“Well here’s something I’D say- CATCH ME THAT SKUNK, OR KISS YOUR GRADES GOODBYE!” The canine snarled and wheeled back, delivering a ferocious kick into Chaos’ backside, which sent the poor pup soaring through the doors of the school, past the playground, past the basket ball courts, the swimming pool and deep into the horizon.
“Kids. Lazy, lazy, lazy, kids. “ The elder coyote grumbled, and climbed into his leather chair for a quick nap.
“No problem! Hahahaha It's getting a bit late in the week, but this is not a problem! Catching Claire is not a problem! You got this dude, you got this!” Chaos buzzed as he hopped around the Acme Super Shot Catapult he ordered from the catalog, only minutes after climbing out of the crater he'd created in the ground. The plan was fool proof. Simply fool proof! Step one; procure one Acme Super Shot Catapult! Step two, fill pay load of catapult with Acme super hair tonic! Step three- panic! Chaos rubbed his paws together fiendishly and peered down the hill, where most of the students were having lunch again- Claire LaMouf among them, casually eating a French bagel, next to her French fries, and what looked like French wine…in a juice box.
It was just too perfect, really. He’d fire the catapult -the payload lands on everyone. Claire breaks out the razor goes into a shaving flurry. Afterwards, she’d be so tired, all Chaos would have to do was scoop her up and take her to Wile without her putting up an inch of a struggle! Of course that was if he had missed. If he managed to hit Claire dead on with the payload, She’d panic- especially if Chaos could get his paws on her razor before she could shave herself! Then it was just a matter of a simple exchange- he’d give her the shaver back, and she’d go with him willingly.
Of course, there was yet third option- Chaos himself could get hit with the pay load, forcing a major hair related catastrophe, and yet, it STILL worked in his favor! Claire won’t be able to resist shaving all his fur off! And while she was doing that, she’d be distracted-just like she said, just long enough for him to tackle her to the ground, and tie her up using his own lengthy locks! It was full proof! There was absolutely NOTHING that could go wrong with the plan! The only thing left to do…was to put it into action.
They were giggling when he approached. Claire had climbed upon the lunch table and raised her paws over her head, wildly wiggling them at the horde of giggling girls left and right.
“TIS A LIE! THY BACKSIDE IS WHOLE AND UNGOBBLED! WE COULD NOT BE HAPPIER! IS THAT NOT CLEAR?!” She shrieked, which for some reason drew the girls, Fifi, Babs, Shirley and Elmyra into howling fits of laughter. Girls were very strange. The giggles all came to a quiet, grinding halt when Chaos nervously approached the table of females, who all turned and looked at him expectantly. Each of them were grinning some small, silent grin- as if they had a private joke amongst them and Chaos was the punch line. The puppy steeled himself with a breath and marched towards the table, reaching a paw up to flick his goggles over his eyes.
“AHEM! C, Claire Lamouf! Y, You are….you are a skunk, and I am a coyote! I…I r, regretfully inform you t, that I must catch you for my professors dinner! T, This is a customary two minutes to give up and say your prayers! S, so…so please give up?” The puppy whimpered sheepishly. Claire glanced around towards the four girls who looked up at her expectantly, and slowly, quietly, dropped down to all fours on the table. She slowly crawled over to the trembling puppy with an roll of her hips that would make mountain curves jealous and twisted a finger underneath his chin, scratching delicately.
“Awww…I AM sorry mon petite coyote, but we are jus finishing ze pony tail discussion. We are all, so, very excited for ze next episode, I do not sink I could stand to be kidnapped and eaten now. Do you sink…maybe…you could arrange a stay of execution? I promise after ze ponies…I’ll…be…all…yours. “ Claire whispered, and pecked her lips gently against the boy’s nose.
Slowly, Chaos took a step back, and blinked his eyes, crossing them to look at his nose. Claire expected him to crumble into pieces- or perhaps shoot off into the air like a rocket, but to her complete and utter surprise, he flashed a diabolical grin and dramatically drew what appeared to be a remote control out of thin air.
“Your charms don’t work on ME, Claire! This time you’ll be all MINE!” The pup barked (regardless of the fact that his wagging tail had lifted him two feet off the ground when she kissed him) The remote control was a black rectangular box with a big, shiny candy red button in the center that Chaos punched with his thumb, and moments later, Elmyra- two feet away from Claire, was covered in Acme Super Hair tonic. And only Elmyra.
Everybody stared. Chaos frowned.
“…Right…um……..hang on then. Let me double check my math bloody quick…”Chaos muttered and whipped out a sheet of paper, quickly scribbling down numbers and figures.
“…Oh, isn’t that always the case. Forgot to carry the bloody three.” He grumbled and peered up at Elmyra, whom was a giant, shuddering blob of bright green hair tonic. The puppy gave an angry snort and leaned against the table, while the girl’s crowded around him, wondering what was going to happen next.
“And it isn’t even WORKING!! Bloody hell! Here, look, the pamphlet says…um….lemme see here…Ahh, right! ACME SUPER HAIR TONIC! GUARANTEED…Blah blah blah…makes long beautiful locks…golden, black, brown or red…not to be used…blah blah blah…pubic zone…underarms…children or pregnancy…Eh? May cause severe cases of temporary monsterism?"
He glanced up at Elmyra, whom now looked slightly different
(http://s309.photobucket.com/albums/kk375/Coolstuph/?action=view¤t=how-to-draw-gossamer.jpg) And gave a sigh. The bell rang.
“Ahh, back to class! See you later mon petite coyote!” Claire called with a loving giggle, climbing off the table and skipping off to class. The rest of the students outside went in too, leaving Chaos and Elmyra, standing alone, staring at each other.
“…”
“…”
“So …erm…no hard feelings, right?” Chaos squeaked.
“PUP-PEE.” Said Elmyra. Chaos sighed.
“Right then. “ He groaned, and squeaked as a giant set of fingers wrapped around his body and SQUEEZED. Girls.
The office was empty and barren, no longer swollen with tasks that needed to be done. No papers to grade, no essay’s to read and no long winded speeches about traps that could have worked- should have worked. Chaos had Wile’s office all to himself!
The pup kicked his feet up onto the elder canine’s lavish desk and gave a quiet sigh. He didn’t know where the professor was, and honestly, that wasn’t something that he was going to try to fix. He’d spent the better portion of the day cleaning the coyote’s messy office, and now, with only a few minutes before lunch, he’d finally finished! With a yawn, he let his eyes drift shut, and wriggled his bottom into the cushy leather padded chair the professor had behind his desk. Everything was clean and spotless- the little T.A. had done his job and done it well and now there was nothing left to do…but wait. And nap.
Somewhere on the campus grounds, a shriek rippled through the area, grasping at the ears of every student and teacher alike. Chaos was dangling by his ears; feet aimlessly and helplessly kicking out from underneath him, while Wile Coyote helped liberate Chaos from the elder coyote’s favorite seat.
“Ahhh, Chaos. I trust you’ve collected my meal, eh ole chap? You must have already completed your assignment- that’s the only reason you would be in here, instead of working on it- and sitting in my favorite chair- which I told you to stay off of.” The angry coyote snarled, fangs glittering in front of the puppy’s face.
Chaos gave a sheepish sort of giggle and tried to ease his ears from Wile’s furious iron grasp, haplessly searching for an answer that might earn him the slightest edge of sympathy from the angry canine. No such luck. “Ummmmmmm when was that due, again?” The puppy whimpered, and yelped as Wile opened the door to his office and shuffled them both towards the front of the school.
“I believe the deadline was Friday dear boy. Where upon I shall be consuming that pretty little naked skunk you so keenly oogle when you think I’m not looking. You promised me you’d have her baked, or boiled or fried, and sitting in my dining room, served with the finest of French wines.” Wile explained, to which Chaos pursed his lips in confusion.
“Baked Claire? While that’s ‘accurate’ that doesn’t sound like something I’d say.” He muttered quietly. Wile perked his ears at the youth’s defiance and yanked Chaos up until he was nose to nose with his would-be hero.
“Well here’s something I’D say- CATCH ME THAT SKUNK, OR KISS YOUR GRADES GOODBYE!” The canine snarled and wheeled back, delivering a ferocious kick into Chaos’ backside, which sent the poor pup soaring through the doors of the school, past the playground, past the basket ball courts, the swimming pool and deep into the horizon.
“Kids. Lazy, lazy, lazy, kids. “ The elder coyote grumbled, and climbed into his leather chair for a quick nap.
“No problem! Hahahaha It's getting a bit late in the week, but this is not a problem! Catching Claire is not a problem! You got this dude, you got this!” Chaos buzzed as he hopped around the Acme Super Shot Catapult he ordered from the catalog, only minutes after climbing out of the crater he'd created in the ground. The plan was fool proof. Simply fool proof! Step one; procure one Acme Super Shot Catapult! Step two, fill pay load of catapult with Acme super hair tonic! Step three- panic! Chaos rubbed his paws together fiendishly and peered down the hill, where most of the students were having lunch again- Claire LaMouf among them, casually eating a French bagel, next to her French fries, and what looked like French wine…in a juice box.
It was just too perfect, really. He’d fire the catapult -the payload lands on everyone. Claire breaks out the razor goes into a shaving flurry. Afterwards, she’d be so tired, all Chaos would have to do was scoop her up and take her to Wile without her putting up an inch of a struggle! Of course that was if he had missed. If he managed to hit Claire dead on with the payload, She’d panic- especially if Chaos could get his paws on her razor before she could shave herself! Then it was just a matter of a simple exchange- he’d give her the shaver back, and she’d go with him willingly.
Of course, there was yet third option- Chaos himself could get hit with the pay load, forcing a major hair related catastrophe, and yet, it STILL worked in his favor! Claire won’t be able to resist shaving all his fur off! And while she was doing that, she’d be distracted-just like she said, just long enough for him to tackle her to the ground, and tie her up using his own lengthy locks! It was full proof! There was absolutely NOTHING that could go wrong with the plan! The only thing left to do…was to put it into action.
They were giggling when he approached. Claire had climbed upon the lunch table and raised her paws over her head, wildly wiggling them at the horde of giggling girls left and right.
“TIS A LIE! THY BACKSIDE IS WHOLE AND UNGOBBLED! WE COULD NOT BE HAPPIER! IS THAT NOT CLEAR?!” She shrieked, which for some reason drew the girls, Fifi, Babs, Shirley and Elmyra into howling fits of laughter. Girls were very strange. The giggles all came to a quiet, grinding halt when Chaos nervously approached the table of females, who all turned and looked at him expectantly. Each of them were grinning some small, silent grin- as if they had a private joke amongst them and Chaos was the punch line. The puppy steeled himself with a breath and marched towards the table, reaching a paw up to flick his goggles over his eyes.
“AHEM! C, Claire Lamouf! Y, You are….you are a skunk, and I am a coyote! I…I r, regretfully inform you t, that I must catch you for my professors dinner! T, This is a customary two minutes to give up and say your prayers! S, so…so please give up?” The puppy whimpered sheepishly. Claire glanced around towards the four girls who looked up at her expectantly, and slowly, quietly, dropped down to all fours on the table. She slowly crawled over to the trembling puppy with an roll of her hips that would make mountain curves jealous and twisted a finger underneath his chin, scratching delicately.
“Awww…I AM sorry mon petite coyote, but we are jus finishing ze pony tail discussion. We are all, so, very excited for ze next episode, I do not sink I could stand to be kidnapped and eaten now. Do you sink…maybe…you could arrange a stay of execution? I promise after ze ponies…I’ll…be…all…yours. “ Claire whispered, and pecked her lips gently against the boy’s nose.
Slowly, Chaos took a step back, and blinked his eyes, crossing them to look at his nose. Claire expected him to crumble into pieces- or perhaps shoot off into the air like a rocket, but to her complete and utter surprise, he flashed a diabolical grin and dramatically drew what appeared to be a remote control out of thin air.
“Your charms don’t work on ME, Claire! This time you’ll be all MINE!” The pup barked (regardless of the fact that his wagging tail had lifted him two feet off the ground when she kissed him) The remote control was a black rectangular box with a big, shiny candy red button in the center that Chaos punched with his thumb, and moments later, Elmyra- two feet away from Claire, was covered in Acme Super Hair tonic. And only Elmyra.
Everybody stared. Chaos frowned.
“…Right…um……..hang on then. Let me double check my math bloody quick…”Chaos muttered and whipped out a sheet of paper, quickly scribbling down numbers and figures.
“…Oh, isn’t that always the case. Forgot to carry the bloody three.” He grumbled and peered up at Elmyra, whom was a giant, shuddering blob of bright green hair tonic. The puppy gave an angry snort and leaned against the table, while the girl’s crowded around him, wondering what was going to happen next.
“And it isn’t even WORKING!! Bloody hell! Here, look, the pamphlet says…um….lemme see here…Ahh, right! ACME SUPER HAIR TONIC! GUARANTEED…Blah blah blah…makes long beautiful locks…golden, black, brown or red…not to be used…blah blah blah…pubic zone…underarms…children or pregnancy…Eh? May cause severe cases of temporary monsterism?"
He glanced up at Elmyra, whom now looked slightly different
(http://s309.photobucket.com/albums/kk375/Coolstuph/?action=view¤t=how-to-draw-gossamer.jpg) And gave a sigh. The bell rang.
“Ahh, back to class! See you later mon petite coyote!” Claire called with a loving giggle, climbing off the table and skipping off to class. The rest of the students outside went in too, leaving Chaos and Elmyra, standing alone, staring at each other.
“…”
“…”
“So …erm…no hard feelings, right?” Chaos squeaked.
“PUP-PEE.” Said Elmyra. Chaos sighed.
“Right then. “ He groaned, and squeaked as a giant set of fingers wrapped around his body and SQUEEZED. Girls.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1280 x 881px
File Size 150.9 kB
LOL this is pure gold & nice addition of the latest pony ep in there Chaos.
Foxy with a bullhorn : "Friday's deadline is coming up fast, will our coyote hero (oh villain, right) be able to catch Claire just in time for dinner or will a failing grade get the drop on him like a fall-of-the-cliff gag? Tune in same FA time, same FA channel!!!!
Foxy with a bullhorn : "Friday's deadline is coming up fast, will our coyote hero (oh villain, right) be able to catch Claire just in time for dinner or will a failing grade get the drop on him like a fall-of-the-cliff gag? Tune in same FA time, same FA channel!!!!
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