Looking for some critiques for this. Whatever you can give me will be helpful.

It's a W.I.P. short story about a monk that visits town for a few days and meets a couple girls.

I do express some of my religious view in this.

I do get the feeling that I spent a bit too much time on the Dialogue, though it's hard for me to tell for sure.

Anyways, let me know what you think.