MON APR 20 2026

this day i was feeling just completly stressred
it got so bad, at one point i had to stop everything, sit down and make a list of reasons as to WHY i'm feeling this way
i came up with at least 20 different reaons

1. hip pain (not gone entirely, flares up)
2. ingrown nail (slow recovery, leads to other problems)
3. ear pain (not sure why even happening)
4. all above require some form of planning & scheduling to get checked
5. noise from horse fest / random bullcrap happening outside my bedroom
6. eternally present engine noise (cars reving envines all day basically endlessly)
7. neighbors screaming like primitive creatures (new development)
8. deteriorating fitness due to above health issues
9. yearly tax crap (1 month deadline in april)
10. unresolved tax crap where tax man STILL hasn't paid me money owed
11. BS i got myself into related to trying to help someone out
12. house buying pressure, having to look at listings, schedule visits
13. mortgage broker pressuring me to sign shit i haven't even read, have no time to read, and honestly am too exhausted to read through
14. unsolved stuff about some financial crap
15. rent contract bullcrap going on (had to renew it again, getting chased to turn over signed docs)
16. putting together and presenting sutff from volunterring to do it
17. feeling like i'm not doing enough at work
18. being invited to birthday celebration but unable to confirm assistance due to ingrown nail pain and not wanting to make it worse
19. other birthday celebration, friend asking me to go, can't say yes or no for the same reason
20. other people just stressing me the frick out

it was a bit sobering to write it all out and it makes me NOT feel as crazy
god april and may have just been completely trash for me