FA+
Shop
748 submissions
![Ten o'clock postman \ADOPTABLE\](http://t.furaffinity.net/64748969@150-1776805531.jpg "Ten o'clock postman \ADOPTABLE\")
This post is not a complaint. It's about bewilderment and the impostor syndrome in medicine. Since a certain age, I've been dealing with hearing problems, and it seemed like they were getting worse. Over the past 10 years, I've had so many audiometries done that I've lost count, but it turns out all of them were wrong. I was diagnosed with '1st degree sensorineural hearing loss.' I genuinely believed I had it.
But today, I went through another examination at a different center. I've always struggled to understand speech. Especially in noise, or when there are many other voices — everything blends into mush, and it's hard for me to make out the words. Today, for the first time, they did a speech-in-noise recognition test. It showed 50%. I can't hear every other word. I can hear birds, the rustle of my jacket, the jingle of keys in a lock. But I never understood why it was so hard for me, why I get so exhausted from conversation.
Now they've diagnosed me with 'Auditory Neuropathy.' I've never heard this diagnosis before. I was told it can't be cured, but it can be managed — with hearing aids and, in severe stages of hearing loss, with cochlear implants.
At this center, looking at my audiogram with values just slightly below normal, they told me they don't see the point of hearing aids and can't offer me one yet. I need to undergo several more tests to know for sure whether I need a hearing aid or a cochlear implant.
And I don't know if my problem even matters. What if everyone around hears like this? What if they also can't understand words? Maybe I've made it all up? Maybe 'Neuropathy,' or 'Hidden Hearing Loss' — is just a wastebasket diagnosis, like dysautonomia? I don't know. I'm confused.
I want to hear and understand, not strain to listen and guess. Do I have the right? Will they help me? How will they help me? I'm tired and scared.
Thank you for listening. Love you all.
Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 656 x 1054px
File Size 450 kB
Comments