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(5800 words) Sara didn't flee to a backwoods town like Alger's Spring to make friends- she did it to escape the confines of humanity altogether. So what if she's a pariah? That's just how she likes it. But, one night, a chance encounter with a wayward teen changes both of their lives forever. A story in the canon of "The Invitation".
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This is my "the author's barely-disguised longing for a kinder world" story, hahaha. Technically my second sequel, but my first more direct one! This is a sequel to The Invitation, set a few decades after the emergence of the Lutrinae on Earth. It follows Sara, one of the first humans alive to use their nanomachines to become something more than human, without becoming a Lutrinae. I wanted to explore the time period between the end of the Invitation but before widescale body modification became common. What would it be like to be one of those people on the frontier of the "human" experience? Well, read on and find out! This story was very indulgent for me- lots of character drama and therian themes- so I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Edited once again by my friend
Firedream , who is open for editing work!
Thanks so much for checking my stuff out! I ADORE comments so if you've got anything to say, I'd love to hear it!
I_Love_Critique
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This is my "the author's barely-disguised longing for a kinder world" story, hahaha. Technically my second sequel, but my first more direct one! This is a sequel to The Invitation, set a few decades after the emergence of the Lutrinae on Earth. It follows Sara, one of the first humans alive to use their nanomachines to become something more than human, without becoming a Lutrinae. I wanted to explore the time period between the end of the Invitation but before widescale body modification became common. What would it be like to be one of those people on the frontier of the "human" experience? Well, read on and find out! This story was very indulgent for me- lots of character drama and therian themes- so I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Edited once again by my friend
Firedream , who is open for editing work!
Thanks so much for checking my stuff out! I ADORE comments so if you've got anything to say, I'd love to hear it!
I_Love_Critique Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 76.8 kB
Listed in Folders
There's a lot here that I really love. The focus on character stuff and relationships, the well-articulated internality of the characters, the usage of evocative language. This is everything a story is supposed to be, structurally, and you should be very proud of it. There are some minor changes that could be made to individual sentences and clauses to maximize impact, and there are some metaphors that don't land correctly. But on the whole this is excellently constructed.
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