FA+
Shop
218
Views
Views
63
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Artwork (Digital) / General Furry Art
Species Wolf
Size 3296 x 2516
File Size 5.98 MB
Report this content
More from hereticalcowboy
"There's nothing strong about me."
Haven't been ok in awhile n with everything goin on irl, it's gotten increasingly hard to deal with.
There's always been a sort of demand and expectation in my family for me to be strong, responsible, sacrifice and do whats necessary as the oldest, I'm used to being the 'beast of burden' for the majority of my life but lately the weight of it all feels much heavier and I've had to admit to myself that I can't keep up anymore. For everyones sake, I have to put on a front, they can't see me fall but I have been breaking more frequently.
I don't sleep well, nightmares have been more frequent and obscure that i wake just more tired, depression set in, my body has been in survival mode for so long that I get frequent panic attacks the moment I'm about to sleep on top of work stress related panic attacks cuz doing so much to help with siblings treatment along with other things.
I've been getting help for a little over a year, sometimes it did help but overall just felt worse after every session. It came to a point though that she couldn't help me anymore because I was "extremely self aware and already had the answers". That was a thing.
Sorry for the word vomit, I'll be okay
Haven't been ok in awhile n with everything goin on irl, it's gotten increasingly hard to deal with.
There's always been a sort of demand and expectation in my family for me to be strong, responsible, sacrifice and do whats necessary as the oldest, I'm used to being the 'beast of burden' for the majority of my life but lately the weight of it all feels much heavier and I've had to admit to myself that I can't keep up anymore. For everyones sake, I have to put on a front, they can't see me fall but I have been breaking more frequently.
I don't sleep well, nightmares have been more frequent and obscure that i wake just more tired, depression set in, my body has been in survival mode for so long that I get frequent panic attacks the moment I'm about to sleep on top of work stress related panic attacks cuz doing so much to help with siblings treatment along with other things.
I've been getting help for a little over a year, sometimes it did help but overall just felt worse after every session. It came to a point though that she couldn't help me anymore because I was "extremely self aware and already had the answers". That was a thing.
Sorry for the word vomit, I'll be okay
Category Artwork (Digital) / General Furry Art
Species Wolf
Size 3296 x 2516px
File Size 5.98 MB
You’re human after all. No one should be expect you to be able to carry all this weight upon you without breaking down at least once. So sorry to have been feeling this way and I really hope things get better soon. Try to do things that can help you relax and recuperate. You’re in my prayers, Tahls 🙏
There are times we need to "Stay strong," but I feel more and more people want that strong attitude from other people to just be the norm and having any vulnerability is bad, especially if they're not the one carrying that burden. I've been told to just "suck it up" for expressing my frustrations. People need other people to be vulnerable with. That's a call for other people to be strong for them and to give guidance. If one person is expected to carry the woes for others, they will crack. I wish the best for you. It sounds like you're going through a lot.
It's suffocation to carry the burdens alone. If only the people around us could realize and understand that, or maybe they don't. Whatever the case it is, visually taking in the art's raw expression of pent up release feels satisfying down to the soul.
Comments