Probably because you're not baiting the hook properly.

Perhaps. Tho idk what else to do.

because fishing is a waiting game. a fish can bite, or not. its not a promise they do, its a chance but when ever a good fish does bite, boy will it change up the game.

Extremely long waiting game. I know I need to "get out there more" but I have no idea what that even entails, people say that like I'm magically supposed to know what it means. Go to a hookup bar (heck no)? Leer at people in Walmart? Creep around a mall? I have no clue! I need connections but I don't have any...

i think the problem is if youre really looking for it. i cant give an advice and be like "just dont look for it" because i think (at least) if youre looking for something like, well, "that", it mostly ends up in a bad way. i mean its hard to explain i guess but maybe if you look somewhere where YOU know you might have something in common with people like games or furries or iduno, you should start there? im srsly not good in social advices tbh ^^;;;

How do you meet people in social situations when you aren't a social person? That's the problem.

I'm guessing you're about as close to thirty as I am to seventy. I would guess that's working on your mind.

Yeah it's a massive problem. Like what do I even do at this point!?! I'm so lost in life.

And yeah I'm barking on 30 in a couple weeks, the first digit of my age flipping from a 2 to a 3 is REALLY weighing on me alot.

Yeah, that's closer than me; I'm a little more than a year from that next odometer click. I wouldn't suggest what I did; I met a girl who was literally half my age but I was 56 at the time. Now she's pushing 41.

I'm not sure where you go from here. I met prior girlfriends at school or work (some places I worked security at had 50% female guard forces -- even 40 years ago). When I transitioned to Programmer/Systems Analyst I met other IT workers and dated several women from work. There aren't too many female Automotive Technicians (yeah, I've met a few; don't walk, run away). The exceptions were my previous GF, who is a nurse at a local hospital (we did meet at a company function) and the woman I mentioned above, whom I met in the company cafeteria. She worked in another building a block away but knew where to find a good lunch.

Yeah females in the automotive repair world are virtually non-existent, only place they might show up is behind a Service Advisor desk but the ones that land there are old enough to be my mom. Ive seen maybe 2 females be involved directly in the repair/oil change end of things and yeah RUN they're an undesirable type. So idk what to do. I work myself to the bone, have no energy when i get off and therefore lack any social life along with my antisocial behaviors.

That is nice advice for a lot of people to try.

If only.

Because it requires patience... lots and lots of patience.

Over 29 years of patience at the very least it seems...

I see.

I've pretty much made peace with being single, even when I was a kid.

I feel the same, but it doesn't get to me all that much since I know I am largely to blame. I don't go out and meet people (I don't really know how to do that) and I am uncomfortable being outside and around people I don't know. I don't really know how to interact with people and nobody seems to want to be spoken with.

It's a little surreal being on a train platform or on a train and it's largely silent except for the trains themselves and the whirr of the air-conditioning. Nobody talks to each other unless they already know each other.

I don't really talk to people online either. Not on social media or discord, so I can't really blame anyone else.

Yeah that first paragraph is literally me too. I know I'm largely to blame for many of the same reasons plus a serious deficit of self confidence.

Know it doesn't help much but I wish you well for the future dude, hope things start looking up sooner rather than later.

Maybe once I change how I act. I did a lot of thinking last night while tossing and turning unable to sleep.

I'm a fellow foreveralone here too, though I'm a woman. Never had a partner. I'm also asexual which no doubt helps lmao.

But about the best advice I can give is just... don't worry too much about finding someone? Become okay with being alone and work on yourself/your own happiness and peace. I hear it's easier to get someone when you're more 'put together' yourself. Desperation is a hell of a turn off and all.

After spending a mostly sleepless night tossing and turning a lot of things crossed my mind. Like wondering how stuff like this made me look, wondering how i project myself anymore, how I feel like I've obsessed myself with my singleness in recent years. The way I've gotten I probably wouldn't want to date me neither after looking back at what I've become over the last couple years. I just need to try and push those thoughts out of my head because they're just clouding everything up, making me unproductive and no doubt unapproachable.

When I feel frustrated about my non-existent love life, I focus on something else to do with my life.

That's what im going to try to do, I really need to focus on my comics and art. The frustration has really clouded my mind in the last couple years.

Being alone on Valentine's Day probably doesn't help matters.

That's been every Valentines for my entire life, kinda getting used to it at this point

I am sorry you are going through this. I know being alone sucks at times. I hope it gets better for you.

If it makes you feel better, sometimes its better to be alone than to be someone who is toxic. There is a lot of fish in the sea, but not all fish are tasty. Some are absolutely nasty.

Eh, we've basically rigged dating and people-meeting to such a degree that we've gotten the worst of all the possible worlds (dating apps, stranger-danger, work-life balance that is skewed towards work, elimination of third places etc.).

From what i know of my fellows who have a girlie - it's all random, one met his in a bar, another two via their friends, another on a mountain hike, another via wow.

What i can deduce is that one needs to go out, not to bars or public spaces but out on hobbies and club activities (basically the third places we lost). Dating apps are a mixed bag but if you put out exactly what you want, take semi-competent pics of yourself and lower your standards a bit i hear that you can get some hits every now and then. Or just swallow your pride and go to a psych that focuses on relationship issues, though that may cost you a bit.

Part of the success of finding love from a partner is finding love from yourself in your singleness, if you can't make yourself happy single then even if you find a partner its likely not to last as a partner cannot be the provider of all of the happiness in your life. Its really unfair to yourself to tie your happiness to something that's ultimately out of your control, I know its easier said than done but freeing yourself from feeling like you need a relationship I think will take a huge weight off your shoulders. You can find so much fulfilment in your life from being single cuz being single isn't inherently a bad thing, grow connections from people within your community, friends, family, found family, those relationships can be just as, if not more important than romantic ones. I hate that people only see Valentines day as a day for couples, its not, its a day for celebrating all sorts of love, be it love for others or yourself! And I think once you start showing yourself the love you deserve on your own, you might find the fishes start biting a little more often ;3c

Can I tell you a story about myself for a minute?
Im 29 and I often feel lonely too. Its not that I've got nobody to talk to. It's more like I don't feel comfortable enough with anyone to let myself be totally open, so I just shut myself up and keep to myself. I deeply desire to let myself be intimate and vulnerable with someone and until I learn to get over myself I'm always going to be alone.
Asperger's makes it hard to approach anyone, and even harder to read non verbal cues, but I still try sometimes. Any time I try to strike up a conversation with a woman it's extremely awkward and I literally don't know what to talk about on account of the fact that I really don't have a life outside of going to work and sleeping whenever I'm not at work, and I just shut down.
I've never been a player. Ive never been interested in casual dating or hookups. What I really desire is true human intimacy. But how can I ever experience that kind of love if Im not even competent at small talk, let alone maintaining a real relationship? So I've come to accept my loneliness as it currently is. I'm just gonna focus that energy on doing whatever makes me happy and if Im lucky to meet a partner while doing so then that would be nice, but if not then I guess that's just the way the cookie crumbles and I have no choice but to accept reality as it is.
I don't believe in soulmates. Relationships aren't like romcoms. They're messy and complicated. You're literally talking about being with another human being who has thoughts and emotions and desires completely independent of your own and which can at times conflict with your own, yet somehow the two stay together in spite of their differences.
What you're feeling is completely normal and valid. Don't ever be ashamed of that. It's okay to feel lonely. It's okay to feel hurt. Loneliness is a normal human feeling that's meant to encourage us to go outside of ourselves and be with others. But it's also very hard on a person, I understand. And I can tell it's been very hard on you for a very long while.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't get too wrapped up in trying to achieve an ideal relationship and instead just focus on what you enjoy doing already. Find something you are passionate about, and go after it.
You don't catch fish by chasing them, you catch them by being still.

I'm a woman, and supposedly it's easier, but no matter how hard I tried, no one ever wanted me. I'm so pathetic that even my longtime friend wishes artists on the FA, including one on my birthday, but he never remembers me - like everyone else. It's the same on holidays. I'm the one who wishes others well, but no one replies.

Ah dang. Guess it can happen on the flipside too... Or also the kind of male attention women probably get online is largely just horny men looking for a good time rather than anything serious. A lot of the time I've noticed when someone is discovered to be a woman online there will be a lot of creepy men showing up in their DMs trying to get a piece of the pie. IDK if it happens the other way around or not, I'd say it's significantly less even just on a psychology scale (i may be wrong but seems like women are less likely to send random men lewd messages out of the blue).

I know on my end a large portion of my loneliness does come down to my personality and habits. I'm moderately antisocial, I rarely make the first move when it comes to trying to strike up a conversation with anyone or even approaching someone in public. Plus often just when im done with my workday I tend to just be "done" with the day so I just stay home for the remainder of the day rather than venture out looking for potential mates. So for me kinda social anxiety, rural life and a tendency to just keep to myself kinda keeps me single. My best chances for meeting someone is probably Online tbh but you really never know who you're dealing with online. The person behind the monitor might be a woman (or man) like they say but you never get the whole picture.

IK it probably doesn't help much but I rarely if ever remember friend's birthdays, also it helps to be more involved in those persons lives (idk how involved you are, just speaking generally here). I hope you have some luck sometime soon finding someone to change your outlook :)

I don't really get much attention online either and don't met horny males. I'm often treated simply as an acquaintance, but not suited for anything more for people I met (online and IRL). I'm usually very invested in relationships with people who are important to me and I often follow the objects of my affection online or from afar IRL (maybe I'm a little stalker). I tend to attract people like you like a magnet – those who don't engage in relationships, don't take the initiative or do first move, don't start conversations, are shy and tend to keep their distance. I'm the one who talks to them - they often ignore me even when I write or call them. Only such people stick around until they get bored with me or find someone else. I've always been pretty persistent, but I get ghosted often. I must really be some kind of failure, even if I try hard.

Yeaaah I get that, especially the feeling more like an acquaintance than a close friend.
There's been a couple times I've interacted with women online some, most of them never really seemed interested in upholding a conversation. One just wanted to be lewd all the time which was kinda thrilling for a bit (first time coming across that) but if I tried to talk about normal things with her she'd basically answer with 2 word replies and eventually just started ghosting me. Other encounters too just kinda started off weak and petered out into nothing even if we had some similar interests never had much luck keeping them engaged. I'll always reply to them if they pop up like most anyone else who messages me but it's getting to be a bit disheartening to feel like I'm having to force a conversation to keep it alive all the time. Whereas most guys I talk to we can talk about total nonsensical things and keep it going for hours so idk.

Sorry about to hear that. It's hard when you don't have similar interest with someone, but I don't think it's only about luck - it will be to stupid simply if it was the only reason. Sometimes online conversation aboud deeper things is harder cause of language barrier. My english not so good, sometimes I must use translator to write something I want to say. But if it's happen in real life, I feel very sorry for you. I hope it's only luck, but but I'll be honest: it's probably not that simple. Humans are quite complicated creatures.

Yeah luck would at the least be an incredibly rare case I guess.
Language barrier (and time zones) makes it a lot harder though connecting with people.

Unfortunatelly. Moreover, people aren't always logical or treat those who have treated them well. Relationships with others are very difficult.

Already late to it, but as a fellow lonely dude… uh… Hi?.

I’ll admit, this really kinda hit for me. I’ve also been feeling somewhat more lonely than usual this year. Practically everybody in my family or anyone else I’ve known is either married or in a relationship. One of my cousins is getting married in a few months, my older sister has been for several years now, and my younger sister has a boyfriend. Then there’s me. Still single. Still feeling semi-lonely. :(
It doesn’t help that I’ve also been feeling increasingly alienated by a majority of my extended family in more recent years. I’m not gonna delve into it, but some of my relatives have become fairly unpleasant people. That alone just makes me want more than ever to move out and find some more pleasant company to be around and away from all the unnecessary negativity. Though, considering how the economy has been lately, I doubt that’s going to happen anytime soon.

To be fair, I feel like you at least tried to find and connect with someone. But I honestly think that finding a potential partner does unfortunately involve a specific amount of luck and pure chance. Even when one does end up having a relationship with someone else, who knows how long it will last or how well it will go. I sorta agree with some of the other folks in the comments and think you should try to focus on other things to make you happy and not worry too much about trying to find a lover.

In any case, I wish you well and hope you have better luck in the future.

Yeah this year kinda hit me hard on it too. My younger brother has a wife and a 1yo daughter, while I've never even so much as had a GF and seeing that kinda happening got me thinking about that sort of thing more. Add on top of that the encounters online (however brief) kinda compounding those feelings of being alone.
I'm honestly at this point not even sure what I want, kinda feel more lost than ever. Im trying to priotize just focusing more on my hobbies and such to try and not be as obsessive moving forward since being obsessive just makes me depressed. Having mixed results so far though.

Yeah… sounds like you had it rough, man. I really don’t blame you. Sometimes I can’t help but think about that stuff whenever I re-realize that even sisters have partners and I don’t. I think I had a potential opportunity a few years ago with a former co-worker of mine, but I never acted up on it.
I’m kinda in the same boat as you are on the feeling more lost and unsure on what you want. Been wanting to work more on my hobbies and certain routines, but my time is not always my own since I still live with my folks. Not really feeling depressed, but not super satisfied with my life either.

There was also a couple instances in my distant past with either school or co-workers where i think something potentially could've happened but i never acted upon them neither. Today tho I'm around men 99% of the time so opportunities never arise, even seeing a female my age in the wild seems incredibly rare