Who among us hasn't gotten at least a little bit piss-steaming enraged with the kind of frustration combined with the icy kiss of betrayal that makes us go so completely mental we'd dig up our granny's corpse for the plague to end it all?

You take a product which advertises itself for a specific purpose, it follows that in a perfect society, that product would fulfill promised purpose. Unisom would put me to sleep, not just burn a $15 hole in my wallet. Nyquil would stop my cough, not just make me wish I had some jagermeister to mix it with because tht would make some damn NASTY shooters. And the aforemwntioned Crimson Bovine "energy Drink" would grant me the power of soaring above the heavens, like the proverbial Icarus, himself.

Lies. ALL LIES, I say.

Now- Prune Juice? That Biz is honest as a pile of bottleflies on a dead cat in the woods. If they changed the company name from "Sunsweet" to "Bowelbusters" or "Colon-blow" that would be the best marketing startedy possibly ver to hit America since rich people discovered they could get poor people to fight each other over basically anything.


Have yourself a lovely day in oour Divided States of Embarassment, lovelies. Stay hydrated. Stay loved and stay regular.. And stay near the damn toilet if you drink a glass of that stuff. You'll thank me later.