In a distant corner of the Dunian Kingdom, among beautiful fields and scenic landscapes was the Tower of Magic. The home to the most powerful wizard in Dunia and perhaps the world.

The Lady Magic. So wily, she'd hidden her true name where even the most devious demons could not find it. So powerful that she'd overthrown the evil wizards, Sir and Lady Antagonist, in the heart of their domain. So wise that she'd memorized thousands of grimoires and scribbled notes in the margins. She danced with dragons, she commanded the elements.

When she was a little girl, she forced Ye College for Magical Boys in Almasiburg to admit her by using hellfire to scorch 'And Girls' onto their sign.

She was a legend. She was a force of nature. She was hiring.

"There are basically two types of wizards," Sadie advised her party. "Serious and silly."

The group was approaching the tower on foot, having lost their borrowed cart several shenanigans ago. Sadie the mouse Scout took the lead, as the de facto leader. Trudging along at her side, her face shyly hidden in her hood, was Sable the mouse Sorceress. Listening attentively slightly further back was Grace the fox Healer. Trailing behind was Alyson the sheep Archer, lost in her own world of daydreams and idle thoughts. And at the back there was Gabe the rhino Fighter. Doing the important job of keeping his favorite ladies from harm, especially Alyson who sometimes lagged behind so much that she got lost.

"Serious wizards are all..." Sadie deepened her voice. "Ooo, I see the movement of the stars and the threads of history! I must defeat the Dark Lord, ooo! The true king will take up the sword, oooo! But silly wizards..." Then, Sadie raised her pitch until her voice was squeaky. "Oh, fibbility foo! This mushroom will be good in a stew!" Her voice returned to normal. "Silly wizards seem like they're just crazy little guys obsessed with their own weird interests and then KERZAP! They turn your bones to cookies or something. Silly wizards are scary!"

"Wait," said Grace, dutifully trying to follow this conversation. "I don't think Sable is like either of those things."

"I'm a sorceress," Sable said softly.

"She's a sorceress," Sadie repeated, loud enough for the ones in the back. "And a necromancer."

"Is that... not a wizard?" asked Grace.

"No," insisted Sable.

Sadie shrugged. "Wizards and warlocks and witches and wuh-sorcerers. I'm not really sure of the distinction but the thing about magic-y people is that they're very insistant on what kind of magic-y person they are. And wizards most especially. You innocently call a wizard a sorcerer one time and they'll turn you into a newt! A sexy newt with big tits!"

Gabe craned his head. "That is a very specific example."

"It very specifically happened to me!" answered Sadie, cheerfully.

Gabe tucked the mental image away for later. "So is Lady Magic serious or silly?"

"From what I hear... She's seriously silly," said Sadie.

Gabe blinked. "Do you not know how a dichotomy works?"

"Yours works pretty fine for me."

"What?" he asked.

"What?" Grace asked.

"Oh, we're here!" said Sadie.

They were there! At the foot of a large stone tower that did not have a door. But there was an arch of stone, suggestive of where a door might go. Around the arch, there were runes. And under the runes, there was common Dunian. And under the common Dunian there was clarification.

SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER, read the first layer.

The second layer said, SAY THE WORD FRIEND AND COME IN.

Then, LITERALLY JUST SAY THE WORD FRIEND OUT LOUD THATS ALL HECK YOU CAN EVEN SAY PAL OR COMRADE I'M ALLOWING SYNONYMS.

And under that, YOU KNOW WHAT JUST RING THE BELL OPAQUE RIDDLES ARE WASTED ON YOU.

On the wall by the arch was a carving of a bell.

Grace reached out curiously and ran a finger along the carving. The sonorous BONG DONG of a bell sounded somewhere inside the tower. The stones inside the archway folded aside to create an opening into the tower.

"I solved the puzzle!" announced Grace.

"Good job, Grace," Sadie said.

Alyson startled. "What the- Oh, we're already here?"

"Welcome back, Aly," said Sadie, wryly.

"Oh hush!" Alyson blushed. "What are we waiting for! Let's go in!"

Seeking to make up for her inattention, Alyson rushed into the Tower of Magic. As ever concerned for his teammate, Gabe rushed after her. Followed by an excited Grace and then Sadie and Sable.

Right inside the tower was a massive chamber, far bigger than the tower had appeared on the outside. Dominating the center of the chamber was the skeleton of an ancient dragon, assembled in a flirty pose. Around the walls, there were podiums displaying weird items. There didn't seem to be stairs up or down. Or adjoining rooms. But there was a demure dik-dik standing at the foot of the dragon skeleton, dressed in a pristine maid uniform.

As the de facto leader and interested in examining a demure maid dik-dik from up close, Sadie strode up to her. "Greetings. Is the master of the tower available?"

The dik-dik stood still and did not respond.

"Hello?"

"She's not real," said a voice from the dragon skeleton. "She's just a Visible Unseen Servant and I broke the spell and she doesn't do anything."

The party looked up. But it was Alyson's keen eyes that spotted the small child sitting on the dragon's skull, dangling and kicking her feet in the air. She looked like a squirrel but she also had draconic qualities about her.

Alyson pointed her out to the others.

"I guess the rumors that Lady Magic dances with dragons are true," Sadie whispered, gleefully scandalized.

"What?" asked Grace.

Curiously, Sadie stuck her hand through the Illusionary Dik-dik's chest and frowned sadly at the lack of solid. Shrugging, she looked back up at the small child.

"Is Lady Magic in?" shouted Sadie.

"She's on her way down," said the child, bored.

With the whisper of pebbles rolling, the far wall unfolded into a staircase leading up into the tower. Out of it bounced a squirrel dressed in purple robes and a chipmunk in a green tunic dragging her feet.

"Ah! You must be adventurers!" exclaimed the squirrel. She pulled a wand out of her cleavage. "Allow me to introduce myself."

The squirrel waved her wand through the air, tracing curves and loops, leaving a trail of fire and sparks. When she was done, she pointed to the word MAGIC written in flames.

"I am the Lady Magic!"

Lady Magic waited.

The party looked at each other, then at Lady Magic, and then at the chipmunk that had emerged with her. She had crossed her arms, narrowed her eyes, and stared disdainfully at the squirrel. Unnoticed, Lady Magic's flashy air signature had managed to light the chipmunk's hair on fire.

"And this is my apprentice, Eris," Lady Magic finally said on the chipmunk's behalf.

The wand disappeared back between squirrel breasts and Lady Magic gave the party a close look. "You seem an interesting group! I bet you have all kinds of misadventures and interesting relationships with each other. Big guy is blushing, he definitely has interesting relationships. ANYWAY! You seem like you'll fit my needs just fine."

"That's great!" said Sadie. "So what's-"

"But there must be a trial first!" interrupted Lady Magic. "You must consult the Oracle on my behalf and bring her answer back to me!"

"Climb the Oracle's Mountain and consult her? We can do that," said Sadie. "Uh. What should we ask her for you?"

"You'll have to figure that out! I'm far too busy to know what's on my mind right now!"

"Oooohkay," said Sadie. Not feeling that was okay, actually.

"Oh, she is seriously silly," muttered Gabe.

Lady Magic snapped, as if she was remembering something. "Oh, and take my apprentice with you. She needs to get out more."

"What? No!" protested Eris. "I don't want to escort these fools!"

Lady Magic flexed her fingers and the fire on Eris' head lifted off of her hair and spelled out the words "Do It Anyway" in the air.

"Have a good walk, apprentice!" Lady Magic said. A burst of purple smoke obscured the squirrel. And when it cleared, she was up on the skull blowing raspberries on the little squirreldragon's tummy as the little girl giggled and belched fire.

"I hate her so much!" seethed Eris. "Are you the wandering murder vagabond type of adventurers? I will pay you to kill her. I have money. I will give you the money to kill her until she dies. My only requirement is that I get to watch and laugh."

"What? No! That's not who we are!" Grace protested. She smiled a bright, innocent smile. "We adventure to fight evil and better the world!"

"Ugh," Eris rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. "A churchie. Fffffffffine. Maybe I'll ask the Oracle how I can kill a stupid squirrel. Since I'm apparently going to see her now! Alllll thanks to you showing up and creating work for me!"

She glared at all of them, individually and as a group.

"What interesting people we meet," said Sadie.

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This was supposed to be Lady Magic and Eris the Apprentice's introduction but then I did a sENFtember story with them!

No regrets. Crops was fun to write.

Lady Magic is the fantasy version of Dr Science. You can tell by the name and by the squirrelness and by her having weird hybrid children. Also, by the fantasy version of the Generic Business Casual Dik-dik cardboard standee showing up.

Lady Magic is even more unhinged than Dr Science but much more benevolent than Dr Ismini.

Eris the Apprentice hates her life and her master and her situation and she would like to kill Lady Magic except Lady Magic is very, very difficult to kill and thinks that Eris' murder attempts are praiseworthy because she's actually showing initiative and ambition, which is more than can be said for the rest of her training.

I made Lady Magic and Eris in HeroForge to figure out their outfits and used that as a ref so Amatarasu could draw this for me. Maybe I'll post those HeroForges sometime.

The party decided to go get a job with Lady Magic after the incident at Lady Serena's dinner party because they caused the incident. Now that they've finally arrived, they're being sent on a side-quest. Such is the life of a fantasy party.

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Lady Magic/Dr Science and Eris the Apprentice/Dr Nemesis owned by me
Art by  amaterasu