Frieda in the swimwear part of the pageant. Each pageant contestant also had to answer a few stock questions. Here's a transcript of Reedy's answers:



What is your best talent?

“I know every pressure point on a male’s body that inflicts the most excruciating pain.”

[That’s a talent???]

“It is when some guy is pissing me off. When I inflict pain on a pig, it’s an ART-ful, dodger!”




What is the best present you ever received?

“I’d say it’s this little stone that my grandmother gave me in Ireland just before she died. It’s just a common rock, but it has these little Gaelic symbols carved into it she said *her* grandmother made in, like, the 1850s or somepin. The symbols are supposed to represent faith, strength and hope. It’s been passed down through my family woman to woman, and I think it’s supposed to be a little reminder to stay strong no matter how bad things get for you. Supposedly, my great-grandma made a few of these little stones as gifts to her daughters when they got married, but this is the only one that’s left, and it’s the original, first stone - made when she was separated from her husband and facing all these hardships as a result of the potato famine going on at the time. My grandma was an incredible woman, and I feel honored that she chose *me* to carry on the tradition. I keep it in a special place, and I always hold it and think of my great-great-grandmother when something bad happens.”



If you could be invisible for 24 hours, what would you do?

“Hm… You know what would be really cool? I would get in the Bitchmobile [her car] and drive around looking for some guy assaulting his girl, an’ then I’d hit the lights and the horn and rev the engine and go all Christine on his ass! He’d never see me ‘cause I’d be invisible, right? All he’d see is this emptypissed off demon-car! And then I’d get out of the car and start whaling away on him; I’d yell at ‘im, “'Hey, why don’t you pick on someone your own size, ASSHOLE! How do you like gettin’ your ass beat by a woman, HUH?! HOW’S THIS ONE FEEL, BABY?!'" POW!!! It’d be GREAT!!”



What’s one silly belief you had as a child?

“I used to be scared shitless of leprechauns. Hey, my family is Irish, alright? My parents - mostly my mom, since she’s mick - would say leprechauns would come and take us kids if we were bad. If you really want to fuck up a kid’s childhood, threaten ‘em with leprechauns! Eyeah!"