I will add text a bit later when I have a PC again.

-Edit-

I finally get to write some text... instead of my phone deleting it like before! :v

So this is a bit of a vent art piece I did. When I drew it, I wasn't like upset or in a bad mindset, but I wanted to make something that still sort of captures how I feel when my anxiety is very high and depressed. When I get that way, I sort of feel like those around me, in a sense, are smothering me, grabbing me... some aggressive, some even sensual, but every hand does the same thing... restrict, restrain, erase. Each hand just... removing a bit of me, false comforts led by expectations of others for me or about me. It happens very much IRL while also online, with how people assume I will be as a persona via how my OC looks or the art I get and make.

I am someone who has been around long enough in this fandom to know that our first impression of many is built on the art we get. I myself still like to create narratives in my head of who someone I am about to interact with is like. Sometimes I can be spot on, while other times it is very different. The difference being for me now than then is I know it is important to talk and try to make more of a bond, then just base things on what we see or perceive via things like an FA profile, and so on.

I mention this... because when you are wrong about something, like a person... well, my mind tends to eat away at me, hands of ever erasing paranoia creeps in and smothers me, overthinking things instead of talking, letting my brain wander to the worst places instead of trying to have some self-control about it all. Keeps going and going till I want to just disappear to make it stop...

I don't give in to such feelings, but sometimes I just want those hands to get rid of me to quiet my mind and fall into that false but desired piece of mind that only not existing can provide.

Sorry I know that is dark, but... that is how it is at times. Just always got to remind myself and others that... you will be missed by many and more than you realize, even if they don't tell you.