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More from hopefullynoregrets
Never let it be said I won’t put myself through hell to do a pic of a cute character.
So, a friend of mine, IronTiger26, showed me a couple of videos on various movies based on memes. Didn’t know those were things, but boy were the videos entertaining watches! One of those was the not-so-great movie The Yummy Gummy Search for Santa… which I noticed had a very cute chubby little bat. Ended up watching the film (which I do NOT recommend, it was better than I expected, but that was a VERY low bar to clear), and Vampiro ended up being my favorite character, and the only one I found all that entertaining! He’s just this egotistical, greedy, not-so-bright slacker with everything about him SCREAMING vampire… except for his obsession with juice and apparently passing out at the sight of blood. I don’t know, Vam made for a decently fun character to watch, and it’s a shame he was apparently the only one of the main characters to never show up again in anything.
—
“Hmmm… Maaaaaaybe this idea vas better in my head,” Vampiro commented, wings behind his head as he floated in a punch bowl full of fruit juice. “On the one hand, it is relaxing… on the other, I can already feel my fur getting sticky, and juice full of hair is just, yuck!”
The bat contemplated this for a moment.
“No, it’s fine!” he chuckled, brushing a dripping wing through the air for emphasis. “I’ve got a lifetime supply from that sveepstakes I von! A bit of vaste is acceptable, and I can vash up in a little vhile. Plenty of time for some more R & R, my date’s not until-”
Vampiro glanced at his clock and the bat sat bolt upright, jaw dropping.
“FIVE MINUTES FROM NOW?!” he shrieked, scrambling to pull himself out of the bowl and promptly falling flat on his head. “Oof!”
Vampiro shook himself off as he sprinted for the bathroom. Tragically, he and Kala had never gotten together, and with no luck with his darling pussycat when they lived together, it had eventually sunk in that a long-distance relationship wasn’t in the cards. It was about time he moved on and met the woman he’d been talking with on a dating site, and he was NOT leaving her wondering why her date was sticky!
Luckily, washing the juice out his fur went smoothly, and the bat glanced at the clock as he flew through his living room: 4 minutes left.
“Okay okay, think!” Vampiro gulped. “Vhat can I get done in 4 minutes? No, vait! Vhat HAS to be done in 4 minutes?”
Dinner. Right, he needed to feed his date. The bat landed by his fridge, tore open his freezer, grabbed the first frozen dinner he could find and threw it in the microwave.
“Now the important part… vhat juice do I go vith?” Vampiro asked himself, scratching his chin as he looked through a freezer packed with fruit juice. “Apple, orange, pomegranate… ooh, grape! Love that!”
Racing back and forth, the bat poured the contents of around half a dozen juice boxes into a set of glasses on a plate (might as well try and make it look fancy, plus no going to the fridge for refills!), taking another look at the clock: 3 minutes left.
“All right, dinner’s set, now vhat…?” he muttered. “Vell, I vas thinking of a movie if things go vell, but vhich one? …Eh, she can pick, I’ve got to make things look nice!”
Vampiro set the drinks out on the table, grabbed the fake candlestick he kept in the corner, took the top half off and put it on the table, rolling the bottom half under the couch. The bat threw open the curtains, revealing the starry night sky outside the window.
“Ugh, this table’s more cramped than I remember, maybe vonce I move the punch bowl there’ll be more space?” he grumbled, before sniffing the air. “...Is something burning?”
Vampiro jumped, holding his ears in pain as his smoke detector went off. The bat ran into the kitchen, staring in horror as flames flickered out of his microwave.
“Nononononono-” he pulled open the microwave, reeling back from the burning frozen dinner. The bat promptly dashed back to the table, grabbed a chair, and successfully managed to jam a wooden leg into the packaging he’d forgotten to remove, pull it from the microwave, dump it in the sink, and turn on the water.
Vampiro breathed a sigh of relief as the last flame flickered out… and then frowned as he tried and failed to remove the scorched dinner from the burnt chair leg. He tugged a bit harder, then as hard as he could, and the leg promptly popped off.
“Uh,” the bat looked around in a blind panic, not helped by the minute he had left by this point.”All right, no chairs, can make do with cushions, maybe I can order a pizza?”
He had just managed to stuff the remaining chair in the kitchen and was about to order when the doorbell rang.
Vampiro gulped. “Can’t keep her vaiting… nononono, I still have the punch bowl out, no seats at the table, and VHERE IS MY CAPE?!”
The bat paused.
“Then again, I did use to live vith someone who vent outside in just his undervear. There are vorse vays to be underdressed,” Vampiro shrugged as he opened the door, revealing a green snake on the other side. “Velcome, my dear! So lovely to meet you in person!”
“Well, sssssomeone’ssss quite the charmer,” the snake chuckled. “Vampiro, yesssss? I’m Kaa.”
“Ah, vonderful name, madame! And please, call me Vam!” the bat grinned, dramatically sweeping out his wing and taking a bow as he held the door open for her.
The snake paused. “Madame?”
“Do you prefer Miss? Mademoiselle? Ma’am?” Vam asked, cocking his head curiously.
“I prefer Missssster, actually. I am male, after all,” Kaa replied, raising an eyeridge.
“You’re vhat.” Vam asked flatly.
“...Thissss is newsssss to you, isssssn’t it.” Kaa replied equally flatly.
“Vell, YES?!” Vam burst out. “Nothing against your preferences, but I put on my profile I vas only into the ladies!”
Kaa facetailed. “Why doessss thisss keep happening? For sssssome reassson people who haven’t met me keep asssssuming I’m a girl. I don’t know why it happenssss, but it doesssss, and apparently whoever or whatever runssss that ssssite made the ssssame asssssumption.”
“V-Vhat sense does that make?!” the baffled bat sputtered.
“Very little, but that’ssss my life apparently!” Kaa groaned, throwing a coil up in the air in place of his non-existent arms.
“Best of luck vith it, Kaa. Boy vas this a vaste,” Vam sighed, defeated.
“...You know, it doessssn’t have to be,” Kaa commented. “Csssertainly, the date didn’t go asss planned, but perhapssss we can ssstill hang out? I had quite a bit of fun talking to you, and I have to admit, it’ssss not every day you get to meet an Internet csssselebrity. It’d be a sssshame if thissss wasss the lassst time we ssspoke. Besssidessss, I don’t know about you, but I had nothing elssse planned.”
“Vell, I could hardly say no to a fan!” Vam smiled, already perking up. “And I really didn’t have other plans, either.”
The bat paused, a frown crossing his face as something occurred to him.
“But, are you sure you can handle the heartbreak?” Vam asked, concerned. “I know I am quite the heartthrob, and I don’t vant to hurt someone so head-over-heels for me.”
Kaa smirked. “Ssssweet of you to be concssserned, but no need to worry. I’m ussssed to handling rejection.”
—
“Sssssso, what made you decssside to ssstart making your videossss?” Kaa asked, taking a sip of juice as he and Vam took seats on the couch.
“Vell, living vith someone Internet-famous vas certainly an inspiration!” Vam chuckled.
“Gummibar, yessss? You mentioned being friendssss with him,” Kaa smiled. “I take it hissss videossss gave you the idea?”
“Yes to Gummy, not so much to the videos. He vas looking for something to vatch vone day and stumbled across a taste testing video,” Vam winced. “It turned out to be for a new flavor of green gummy bear. You can probably imagine how that vent over.”
“Ssssomething like watching a horror movie?” Kaa replied, trying to fight back a snicker.
“If your reaction to horror movies is diving under a table screaming, then yes!” Vam laughed. “You’d really think someone who sings about being yummy vould handle that sort of thing better. Anyvays, after helping calm him down, I noticed another video in the suggestions, only trying juice instead of candy. And you know how much I love juice!”
“Current refreshmentsss asssside, I gathered asss much when I sssaw your usssername vas JuiceVamp,” Kaa chuckled.
“So, I started making my own videos, and the rest vas history! I got fans, fame, and the ability to brag that Gummy vans’t the only celebrity in our friend group anymore!” the bat grinned. “Then a juice company offered me a job as a taste tester, and life has been sveet! Granted, I could have gone vithout having to move for it, but eh, I needed my space, and I still keep in contact vith my friends. There’s even been talk of having me in advertisements now! Apparently they couldn’t find anyone else vith such a passionate love of their product.”
“Impresssive!” Kaa cheered. “I actually did some acting myself onsssce upon a time, and I can assssure you, it can be FUN.”
“Vait, you vere an actor? How did this never come up?!” Vam sputtered.
Kaa raised a coil in the equivalent of a shrug. “Honesssstly, it wassss agessss ago, and it wassssn’t anything big. I jusssst played a minor villain in a couple of moviesssss. The character wasssss ssssuppossssed to be on the heroessss’ ssssside in the book they adapted, but apparently no one thought a heroic ssssnake would go over well with the audiencssse.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, even minor parts can be special!” Vam smiled. “Do you know how often a side or minor character ends up outdoing the main characters in popularity? Anyvone can end up vith an Oscar!”
“Can’t ssssay I ever got that particular award, but I apprecsssiate the encouragement,” Kaa smiled. “It meanssss a lot, coming from you.”
“No problem! Sorry to hear about the typecasting, I sort of know the feeling. I mean, my name, my species, it’s like everyvone from my parents to life itself vanted me to be a scary blood-drinker of the night!” the bat laughed. “I’ve never been able to stand blood, but playing up the vampire image is fun! I love the spooky and scary, and of course there’s the appeal to the ladies,” Vam smirked. “My advice? People want to see you as a scary, sneaky snake, just roll vith it and have fun! No reason you can’t still be friendly!”
“Excssssellent idea, though it might occassssionally get in the way of my job,” the snake chuckled.
“You mentioned you vere a therapist, yes? Vhat’s that like?” Vam asked, cocking his head curiously.
“It hardly comparessss to your work, but I find it fassscinating!” Kaa grinned. “Csssertainly there’ssss thossse with sssnake isssuesss, but earning their trussssst isssss a reward in and of itsssself. Not to mention, you meet all ssssortsssss of people, find out what makessss them tick… I’ve even helped a few confessss their feelingssss to their sssspecsssial sssssomeone… or even realize them.”
“Vhere vere you vhen I vas crushing on one of my friends?” Vam chuckled. “I know a kitty who could DEFINITELY have used your services!”
“Perhapssss you could introducssse her to me ssssometime, depending on how thisss hasss gone ssso far?” Kaa asked hopefully.
“Vhy, looking for a date?” Vam asked teasingly… and then winced. “Right, sorry, I forgot vhy you came here.”
“It’ssss quite all right, you’ve sssshown me a VERY good time,” Kaa smiled.
“...How does that vork, by the vay, getting someone to realize how they feel?” Vam wondered.
“I’m sssso glad you asked! Firsssst of all, eye contact issss VERY important,” Kaa smirked. “Might I demonssstrate?”
“Of course!” Vam cheerfully shrugged.
“Perfect. Now, look DEEP into my eyessss~” Kaa hissed, his smirk only widening.
—
Vam excitedly oohed as the snake’s eyes began to swirl with the prettiest colors he’d ever seen. Blue and green and yellow flowed through his sight, and the longer he looked the lovelier they seemed to grow. Soon enough, the bat was leaning closer and closer, ring after ring sending tingles of pleasure through his body as his eyes followed their flow.
“Enjoying the ssssshow, my dear?” Kaa chuckled, his voice like music to the bat’s ears.
Vam eagerly nodded, pupils shrunken to pinpricks. “It… It looks…!”
“Wonderful?” the snake prompted.
“Vonderful…!” the bat blissfully sighed.
“Then follow along, my friend, it only getsss better from here~” Kaa replied with a grin.
The snake bobbed his head, and the bat followed suit; he wasn’t letting the colors leave his sight for a moment! Kaa swayed to and fro, and desperate for more, Vam mimicked the motion. A tail around his waist, a gentle touch, and the bat was swinging his hips with a big silly smile. Kaa backed away, beckoning with his tail, and Vam happily stumbled after him, thoughts melting away in the soothing spirals flooding the bat’s mind and eyes. The bat barely noticed as he ascended a scaly staircase of coils, tongue lolling from a wide-open grin; all there was, all that mattered, was the beautiful colors and the snake they were attached to. Vam mindlessly marched across loop after loop of the snake’s body, eyes never leaving his. Kaa lowered his head, and the brainwashed bat dropped to a crawl, wings and legs wrapping the snake’s body as he pulled himself along, letting out a moan as the scales rubbed against his belly.
“You like that, don’t you, my blissssful bat?” Kaa asked with a chuckle. “I think you’ve jussst given me an idea.”
Vam’s moaning only grew in volume and frequency as the snake’s body rubbed and pressed against his, letting out happy little squeaks as he nuzzled the coils.
“Awwwwwww! Ssssso cute,” Kaa cooed, a warm smile crossing his face.
Sadly for the bat, all things had to come to an end. Vam let out a whine when, a few minutes later, the belly rub came to a stop, giving what would almost look like puppy-dog eyes if they weren’t swirling with color.
“Don’t fret, I’ve got more fun planned for usssss,” Kaa grinned, giving Vam some reassuring pets with his tail, before presenting a higher part of it. “Grab on.”
The bat complied, and with a couple of nudges, the two were dancing together, Vam drunkenly stumbling about swinging his hips, claws on his wings gripping the snake’s tail as he stared adoringly into his eyes. Kaa lowered him into a dip, giving him a peck on the lips, and the bat could only deliriously giggle, a blush appearing on his cheeks. Eventually, their dance came to an end, and Kaa lowered Vam onto his stomach, before sloping his body. The bat zipped down a scaly slide, Kaa’s tail catching him before he could go flying off. The tail brushed against his chin, slowly pulling up and away, and Vam leaned towards it, straddling a coil as he sat up.
“Now, sssssincssse you loved your belly rub sssso much the firsssst time… how about we make it even better?” Kaa smirked.
Vam broke into moans and squeaks once more as the coil between his legs rubbed and pressed, bunching up in front of him to do the same to his belly, eyes rolling back in his head in pleasure as Kaa’s tail wrapped around him from one angle after another, gently squeezing and stroking in all the right places as it crossed his belly and gave him scritches behind his ears.
“Doesssn’t thisss- oh, you’re a ssssweet one~” Kaa chuckled as Vam broke from his reverie just long enough to give his nose a nuzzle. “Doessssn’t thissss feel wonderful? No thoughtssssss, no worriesssss… jusssst pure and utter blissssss. And the bessssst part isssss, you don’t need to think or worry anymore. After all, you trussssst in me… you’d never let yoursssself be thissss vulnerable, thisssss affectionate, thisssss intimate with ssssomeone you didn’t. You’re far too sssssmart for that. You know you can trusssst me to handle thosssse pessssky thoughtssss for you… while you live the pampered life of a pet, cherisssshed with and ssssshowered in all the colorssss and affection you could ever want by me, your loving masssster. I can’t imagine you’ve ever had a better date than thissssss… and neither can you. And it’ssssss only natural to love sssssomeone you get along with ssssso well… whosssse touch you crave, whosssse ssssweet wordssss you live for… my messssmerized mate-to-be.”
Panting, drooling, eyes swirling madly with color, a wild, delighted smile spread across his face, Vam had never nodded faster. “I don’t need to think or vorry, Master! I trust in you! I vant to be your pet, my love! I vant to be your mate!”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Kaa replied, giving a warm smile that had Vam’s heart pounding, a warm, fuzzy feeling spreading through his chest.
And then… the snake leaned in and kissed him.
Vam froze, stunned, as Kaa’s lips met his. Slowly, the bat turned beet red…
And broke into the biggest, goofiest grin of his life as a PING! rang out in his head.
Vam eagerly kissed back, lips parting for the forked tongue that poked at them. The newfound couple moaned as their tongues twisted and rubbed each other, exploring the other’s mouth, Vam wrapping his wings around his lover and pulling him into an embrace. They kept at it for what felt like forever, the rest of the world seeming to fade away… all that mattered was each other (and in Vam’s case, the beautiful colors bursting through his everything.)
Finally, though, the two had to break away for breath, lips reluctantly parting.
“That… that wassss amazing, my pet,” Kaa panted. “...Er, pet?”
Vam happily stared into space with a silly smile, tongue lolling out as he collapsed, panting onto his back, mind utterly blown with pleasure.
“...Are you all right?” Kaa finally asked.
“N-n-nev… never better, Master!” Vam managed to reply a minute later, giving a shaky thumbs-up as coherency slowly returned to his head. “I love you~”
“Awww, I love you too,” the snake chuckled, giving the bat a nuzzle. “You are by FAR my besssst catch in ssssome time… and after a bit to recover, we’re going to have SSSO much more fun-”
Kaa was cut off by the sound of his stomach rumbling.
“...After we eat,” he finished. “Ssssso, what ssssshall we have? Your treat~”
“I, ah, might have forgot about the food,” Vam said sheepishly.
“Sssstill collecting your thoughtssss, dear?” Kaa hissed. “It’ssss been a bit ssssincssse ssssomeone’ssss been quite sssso out of it when they went under.”
“Ah- Yes! That’s it exactly!” the bat quickly replied. “But I’m having an idea! Vhat are your thoughts on pizza?”
“Delicsssiousss, esssspecsssially with meat,” Kaa immediately replied, licking his lips. “Excsssellent choicssse, my dear… and while we wait for it to arrive…”
The snake lunged, and Vam found himself staring once more into swirling colors.
“No reassson not to enjoy oursssselvessss~” Kaa practically sang as Vam’s thoughts rapidly faded away once more.
—
The next morning, Vam stumbled off his couch in a daze, blinking flashes of color out of his eyes as he leaned against a wall.
“Vhat… Vhat happened last night?” he asked himself. Try as he might, he could only remember bits and pieces. Soft lips pressed against his, a forked tongue exploring his mouth, vigorously shaking his rump and swinging his hips as he danced, the vague feeling that someone had been snuggling him…
And lots and lots of pretty colors.
“The date must have turned into quite the party!” Vam chuckled, stretching without a care in the world. Waking up was a bit disorienting, and his rear felt a bit sore, but somehow, he just felt goood. “Vampiro, you’ve still got it! All that charm and machismo just drives the men and ladies crazy!”
The bat paused. Did he just say men? He never would have considered dating a guy… but somehow, it just felt right to say, the thought sending tingles of pleasure down his spine.
“...Oookay, odd vay to make that particular discovery, but eh, I suppose it means a whole new vorld of options!” Vam finally decided, shrugging in confusion before walking to his kitchen… and pausing when he noticed the note stuck in the refrigerator door.
He opened and shut the door before picking up the note, and beginning to read.
My dear Vam, it said. I had a wonderful time last night. You’re quite the cutie, not to mention fun to spend time with. I would have loved to spend the night snuggling with you, but sadly, I had work to get ready for in the morning. Still, with how wild things got, it occurred to me you might not remember much of it… so I thought I’d leave you a reminder on your phone. Check your videos~
Call me~
Love,
Kaa
At the bottom of the note was a phone number.
Vam blushed as he finished reading, and went through his videos. Sure enough, one of them was unfamiliar, and he hit play…
And quickly found himself staring into some very familiar spirals, pleasure, memories, and a soft, hissing voice flooding his fuzzy head as a swirly-eyed Vam broke into a silly smile.
Before he knew it, Vam was adding the phone number to his contacts under Master, and eagerly calling his scaly sweetheart.
He couldn’t wait for their next date~
So, a friend of mine, IronTiger26, showed me a couple of videos on various movies based on memes. Didn’t know those were things, but boy were the videos entertaining watches! One of those was the not-so-great movie The Yummy Gummy Search for Santa… which I noticed had a very cute chubby little bat. Ended up watching the film (which I do NOT recommend, it was better than I expected, but that was a VERY low bar to clear), and Vampiro ended up being my favorite character, and the only one I found all that entertaining! He’s just this egotistical, greedy, not-so-bright slacker with everything about him SCREAMING vampire… except for his obsession with juice and apparently passing out at the sight of blood. I don’t know, Vam made for a decently fun character to watch, and it’s a shame he was apparently the only one of the main characters to never show up again in anything.
—
“Hmmm… Maaaaaaybe this idea vas better in my head,” Vampiro commented, wings behind his head as he floated in a punch bowl full of fruit juice. “On the one hand, it is relaxing… on the other, I can already feel my fur getting sticky, and juice full of hair is just, yuck!”
The bat contemplated this for a moment.
“No, it’s fine!” he chuckled, brushing a dripping wing through the air for emphasis. “I’ve got a lifetime supply from that sveepstakes I von! A bit of vaste is acceptable, and I can vash up in a little vhile. Plenty of time for some more R & R, my date’s not until-”
Vampiro glanced at his clock and the bat sat bolt upright, jaw dropping.
“FIVE MINUTES FROM NOW?!” he shrieked, scrambling to pull himself out of the bowl and promptly falling flat on his head. “Oof!”
Vampiro shook himself off as he sprinted for the bathroom. Tragically, he and Kala had never gotten together, and with no luck with his darling pussycat when they lived together, it had eventually sunk in that a long-distance relationship wasn’t in the cards. It was about time he moved on and met the woman he’d been talking with on a dating site, and he was NOT leaving her wondering why her date was sticky!
Luckily, washing the juice out his fur went smoothly, and the bat glanced at the clock as he flew through his living room: 4 minutes left.
“Okay okay, think!” Vampiro gulped. “Vhat can I get done in 4 minutes? No, vait! Vhat HAS to be done in 4 minutes?”
Dinner. Right, he needed to feed his date. The bat landed by his fridge, tore open his freezer, grabbed the first frozen dinner he could find and threw it in the microwave.
“Now the important part… vhat juice do I go vith?” Vampiro asked himself, scratching his chin as he looked through a freezer packed with fruit juice. “Apple, orange, pomegranate… ooh, grape! Love that!”
Racing back and forth, the bat poured the contents of around half a dozen juice boxes into a set of glasses on a plate (might as well try and make it look fancy, plus no going to the fridge for refills!), taking another look at the clock: 3 minutes left.
“All right, dinner’s set, now vhat…?” he muttered. “Vell, I vas thinking of a movie if things go vell, but vhich one? …Eh, she can pick, I’ve got to make things look nice!”
Vampiro set the drinks out on the table, grabbed the fake candlestick he kept in the corner, took the top half off and put it on the table, rolling the bottom half under the couch. The bat threw open the curtains, revealing the starry night sky outside the window.
“Ugh, this table’s more cramped than I remember, maybe vonce I move the punch bowl there’ll be more space?” he grumbled, before sniffing the air. “...Is something burning?”
Vampiro jumped, holding his ears in pain as his smoke detector went off. The bat ran into the kitchen, staring in horror as flames flickered out of his microwave.
“Nononononono-” he pulled open the microwave, reeling back from the burning frozen dinner. The bat promptly dashed back to the table, grabbed a chair, and successfully managed to jam a wooden leg into the packaging he’d forgotten to remove, pull it from the microwave, dump it in the sink, and turn on the water.
Vampiro breathed a sigh of relief as the last flame flickered out… and then frowned as he tried and failed to remove the scorched dinner from the burnt chair leg. He tugged a bit harder, then as hard as he could, and the leg promptly popped off.
“Uh,” the bat looked around in a blind panic, not helped by the minute he had left by this point.”All right, no chairs, can make do with cushions, maybe I can order a pizza?”
He had just managed to stuff the remaining chair in the kitchen and was about to order when the doorbell rang.
Vampiro gulped. “Can’t keep her vaiting… nononono, I still have the punch bowl out, no seats at the table, and VHERE IS MY CAPE?!”
The bat paused.
“Then again, I did use to live vith someone who vent outside in just his undervear. There are vorse vays to be underdressed,” Vampiro shrugged as he opened the door, revealing a green snake on the other side. “Velcome, my dear! So lovely to meet you in person!”
“Well, sssssomeone’ssss quite the charmer,” the snake chuckled. “Vampiro, yesssss? I’m Kaa.”
“Ah, vonderful name, madame! And please, call me Vam!” the bat grinned, dramatically sweeping out his wing and taking a bow as he held the door open for her.
The snake paused. “Madame?”
“Do you prefer Miss? Mademoiselle? Ma’am?” Vam asked, cocking his head curiously.
“I prefer Missssster, actually. I am male, after all,” Kaa replied, raising an eyeridge.
“You’re vhat.” Vam asked flatly.
“...Thissss is newsssss to you, isssssn’t it.” Kaa replied equally flatly.
“Vell, YES?!” Vam burst out. “Nothing against your preferences, but I put on my profile I vas only into the ladies!”
Kaa facetailed. “Why doessss thisss keep happening? For sssssome reassson people who haven’t met me keep asssssuming I’m a girl. I don’t know why it happenssss, but it doesssss, and apparently whoever or whatever runssss that ssssite made the ssssame asssssumption.”
“V-Vhat sense does that make?!” the baffled bat sputtered.
“Very little, but that’ssss my life apparently!” Kaa groaned, throwing a coil up in the air in place of his non-existent arms.
“Best of luck vith it, Kaa. Boy vas this a vaste,” Vam sighed, defeated.
“...You know, it doessssn’t have to be,” Kaa commented. “Csssertainly, the date didn’t go asss planned, but perhapssss we can ssstill hang out? I had quite a bit of fun talking to you, and I have to admit, it’ssss not every day you get to meet an Internet csssselebrity. It’d be a sssshame if thissss wasss the lassst time we ssspoke. Besssidessss, I don’t know about you, but I had nothing elssse planned.”
“Vell, I could hardly say no to a fan!” Vam smiled, already perking up. “And I really didn’t have other plans, either.”
The bat paused, a frown crossing his face as something occurred to him.
“But, are you sure you can handle the heartbreak?” Vam asked, concerned. “I know I am quite the heartthrob, and I don’t vant to hurt someone so head-over-heels for me.”
Kaa smirked. “Ssssweet of you to be concssserned, but no need to worry. I’m ussssed to handling rejection.”
—
“Sssssso, what made you decssside to ssstart making your videossss?” Kaa asked, taking a sip of juice as he and Vam took seats on the couch.
“Vell, living vith someone Internet-famous vas certainly an inspiration!” Vam chuckled.
“Gummibar, yessss? You mentioned being friendssss with him,” Kaa smiled. “I take it hissss videossss gave you the idea?”
“Yes to Gummy, not so much to the videos. He vas looking for something to vatch vone day and stumbled across a taste testing video,” Vam winced. “It turned out to be for a new flavor of green gummy bear. You can probably imagine how that vent over.”
“Ssssomething like watching a horror movie?” Kaa replied, trying to fight back a snicker.
“If your reaction to horror movies is diving under a table screaming, then yes!” Vam laughed. “You’d really think someone who sings about being yummy vould handle that sort of thing better. Anyvays, after helping calm him down, I noticed another video in the suggestions, only trying juice instead of candy. And you know how much I love juice!”
“Current refreshmentsss asssside, I gathered asss much when I sssaw your usssername vas JuiceVamp,” Kaa chuckled.
“So, I started making my own videos, and the rest vas history! I got fans, fame, and the ability to brag that Gummy vans’t the only celebrity in our friend group anymore!” the bat grinned. “Then a juice company offered me a job as a taste tester, and life has been sveet! Granted, I could have gone vithout having to move for it, but eh, I needed my space, and I still keep in contact vith my friends. There’s even been talk of having me in advertisements now! Apparently they couldn’t find anyone else vith such a passionate love of their product.”
“Impresssive!” Kaa cheered. “I actually did some acting myself onsssce upon a time, and I can assssure you, it can be FUN.”
“Vait, you vere an actor? How did this never come up?!” Vam sputtered.
Kaa raised a coil in the equivalent of a shrug. “Honesssstly, it wassss agessss ago, and it wassssn’t anything big. I jusssst played a minor villain in a couple of moviesssss. The character wasssss ssssuppossssed to be on the heroessss’ ssssside in the book they adapted, but apparently no one thought a heroic ssssnake would go over well with the audiencssse.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, even minor parts can be special!” Vam smiled. “Do you know how often a side or minor character ends up outdoing the main characters in popularity? Anyvone can end up vith an Oscar!”
“Can’t ssssay I ever got that particular award, but I apprecsssiate the encouragement,” Kaa smiled. “It meanssss a lot, coming from you.”
“No problem! Sorry to hear about the typecasting, I sort of know the feeling. I mean, my name, my species, it’s like everyvone from my parents to life itself vanted me to be a scary blood-drinker of the night!” the bat laughed. “I’ve never been able to stand blood, but playing up the vampire image is fun! I love the spooky and scary, and of course there’s the appeal to the ladies,” Vam smirked. “My advice? People want to see you as a scary, sneaky snake, just roll vith it and have fun! No reason you can’t still be friendly!”
“Excssssellent idea, though it might occassssionally get in the way of my job,” the snake chuckled.
“You mentioned you vere a therapist, yes? Vhat’s that like?” Vam asked, cocking his head curiously.
“It hardly comparessss to your work, but I find it fassscinating!” Kaa grinned. “Csssertainly there’ssss thossse with sssnake isssuesss, but earning their trussssst isssss a reward in and of itsssself. Not to mention, you meet all ssssortsssss of people, find out what makessss them tick… I’ve even helped a few confessss their feelingssss to their sssspecsssial sssssomeone… or even realize them.”
“Vhere vere you vhen I vas crushing on one of my friends?” Vam chuckled. “I know a kitty who could DEFINITELY have used your services!”
“Perhapssss you could introducssse her to me ssssometime, depending on how thisss hasss gone ssso far?” Kaa asked hopefully.
“Vhy, looking for a date?” Vam asked teasingly… and then winced. “Right, sorry, I forgot vhy you came here.”
“It’ssss quite all right, you’ve sssshown me a VERY good time,” Kaa smiled.
“...How does that vork, by the vay, getting someone to realize how they feel?” Vam wondered.
“I’m sssso glad you asked! Firsssst of all, eye contact issss VERY important,” Kaa smirked. “Might I demonssstrate?”
“Of course!” Vam cheerfully shrugged.
“Perfect. Now, look DEEP into my eyessss~” Kaa hissed, his smirk only widening.
—
Vam excitedly oohed as the snake’s eyes began to swirl with the prettiest colors he’d ever seen. Blue and green and yellow flowed through his sight, and the longer he looked the lovelier they seemed to grow. Soon enough, the bat was leaning closer and closer, ring after ring sending tingles of pleasure through his body as his eyes followed their flow.
“Enjoying the ssssshow, my dear?” Kaa chuckled, his voice like music to the bat’s ears.
Vam eagerly nodded, pupils shrunken to pinpricks. “It… It looks…!”
“Wonderful?” the snake prompted.
“Vonderful…!” the bat blissfully sighed.
“Then follow along, my friend, it only getsss better from here~” Kaa replied with a grin.
The snake bobbed his head, and the bat followed suit; he wasn’t letting the colors leave his sight for a moment! Kaa swayed to and fro, and desperate for more, Vam mimicked the motion. A tail around his waist, a gentle touch, and the bat was swinging his hips with a big silly smile. Kaa backed away, beckoning with his tail, and Vam happily stumbled after him, thoughts melting away in the soothing spirals flooding the bat’s mind and eyes. The bat barely noticed as he ascended a scaly staircase of coils, tongue lolling from a wide-open grin; all there was, all that mattered, was the beautiful colors and the snake they were attached to. Vam mindlessly marched across loop after loop of the snake’s body, eyes never leaving his. Kaa lowered his head, and the brainwashed bat dropped to a crawl, wings and legs wrapping the snake’s body as he pulled himself along, letting out a moan as the scales rubbed against his belly.
“You like that, don’t you, my blissssful bat?” Kaa asked with a chuckle. “I think you’ve jussst given me an idea.”
Vam’s moaning only grew in volume and frequency as the snake’s body rubbed and pressed against his, letting out happy little squeaks as he nuzzled the coils.
“Awwwwwww! Ssssso cute,” Kaa cooed, a warm smile crossing his face.
Sadly for the bat, all things had to come to an end. Vam let out a whine when, a few minutes later, the belly rub came to a stop, giving what would almost look like puppy-dog eyes if they weren’t swirling with color.
“Don’t fret, I’ve got more fun planned for usssss,” Kaa grinned, giving Vam some reassuring pets with his tail, before presenting a higher part of it. “Grab on.”
The bat complied, and with a couple of nudges, the two were dancing together, Vam drunkenly stumbling about swinging his hips, claws on his wings gripping the snake’s tail as he stared adoringly into his eyes. Kaa lowered him into a dip, giving him a peck on the lips, and the bat could only deliriously giggle, a blush appearing on his cheeks. Eventually, their dance came to an end, and Kaa lowered Vam onto his stomach, before sloping his body. The bat zipped down a scaly slide, Kaa’s tail catching him before he could go flying off. The tail brushed against his chin, slowly pulling up and away, and Vam leaned towards it, straddling a coil as he sat up.
“Now, sssssincssse you loved your belly rub sssso much the firsssst time… how about we make it even better?” Kaa smirked.
Vam broke into moans and squeaks once more as the coil between his legs rubbed and pressed, bunching up in front of him to do the same to his belly, eyes rolling back in his head in pleasure as Kaa’s tail wrapped around him from one angle after another, gently squeezing and stroking in all the right places as it crossed his belly and gave him scritches behind his ears.
“Doesssn’t thisss- oh, you’re a ssssweet one~” Kaa chuckled as Vam broke from his reverie just long enough to give his nose a nuzzle. “Doessssn’t thissss feel wonderful? No thoughtssssss, no worriesssss… jusssst pure and utter blissssss. And the bessssst part isssss, you don’t need to think or worry anymore. After all, you trussssst in me… you’d never let yoursssself be thissss vulnerable, thisssss affectionate, thisssss intimate with ssssomeone you didn’t. You’re far too sssssmart for that. You know you can trusssst me to handle thosssse pessssky thoughtssss for you… while you live the pampered life of a pet, cherisssshed with and ssssshowered in all the colorssss and affection you could ever want by me, your loving masssster. I can’t imagine you’ve ever had a better date than thissssss… and neither can you. And it’ssssss only natural to love sssssomeone you get along with ssssso well… whosssse touch you crave, whosssse ssssweet wordssss you live for… my messssmerized mate-to-be.”
Panting, drooling, eyes swirling madly with color, a wild, delighted smile spread across his face, Vam had never nodded faster. “I don’t need to think or vorry, Master! I trust in you! I vant to be your pet, my love! I vant to be your mate!”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Kaa replied, giving a warm smile that had Vam’s heart pounding, a warm, fuzzy feeling spreading through his chest.
And then… the snake leaned in and kissed him.
Vam froze, stunned, as Kaa’s lips met his. Slowly, the bat turned beet red…
And broke into the biggest, goofiest grin of his life as a PING! rang out in his head.
Vam eagerly kissed back, lips parting for the forked tongue that poked at them. The newfound couple moaned as their tongues twisted and rubbed each other, exploring the other’s mouth, Vam wrapping his wings around his lover and pulling him into an embrace. They kept at it for what felt like forever, the rest of the world seeming to fade away… all that mattered was each other (and in Vam’s case, the beautiful colors bursting through his everything.)
Finally, though, the two had to break away for breath, lips reluctantly parting.
“That… that wassss amazing, my pet,” Kaa panted. “...Er, pet?”
Vam happily stared into space with a silly smile, tongue lolling out as he collapsed, panting onto his back, mind utterly blown with pleasure.
“...Are you all right?” Kaa finally asked.
“N-n-nev… never better, Master!” Vam managed to reply a minute later, giving a shaky thumbs-up as coherency slowly returned to his head. “I love you~”
“Awww, I love you too,” the snake chuckled, giving the bat a nuzzle. “You are by FAR my besssst catch in ssssome time… and after a bit to recover, we’re going to have SSSO much more fun-”
Kaa was cut off by the sound of his stomach rumbling.
“...After we eat,” he finished. “Ssssso, what ssssshall we have? Your treat~”
“I, ah, might have forgot about the food,” Vam said sheepishly.
“Sssstill collecting your thoughtssss, dear?” Kaa hissed. “It’ssss been a bit ssssincssse ssssomeone’ssss been quite sssso out of it when they went under.”
“Ah- Yes! That’s it exactly!” the bat quickly replied. “But I’m having an idea! Vhat are your thoughts on pizza?”
“Delicsssiousss, esssspecsssially with meat,” Kaa immediately replied, licking his lips. “Excsssellent choicssse, my dear… and while we wait for it to arrive…”
The snake lunged, and Vam found himself staring once more into swirling colors.
“No reassson not to enjoy oursssselvessss~” Kaa practically sang as Vam’s thoughts rapidly faded away once more.
—
The next morning, Vam stumbled off his couch in a daze, blinking flashes of color out of his eyes as he leaned against a wall.
“Vhat… Vhat happened last night?” he asked himself. Try as he might, he could only remember bits and pieces. Soft lips pressed against his, a forked tongue exploring his mouth, vigorously shaking his rump and swinging his hips as he danced, the vague feeling that someone had been snuggling him…
And lots and lots of pretty colors.
“The date must have turned into quite the party!” Vam chuckled, stretching without a care in the world. Waking up was a bit disorienting, and his rear felt a bit sore, but somehow, he just felt goood. “Vampiro, you’ve still got it! All that charm and machismo just drives the men and ladies crazy!”
The bat paused. Did he just say men? He never would have considered dating a guy… but somehow, it just felt right to say, the thought sending tingles of pleasure down his spine.
“...Oookay, odd vay to make that particular discovery, but eh, I suppose it means a whole new vorld of options!” Vam finally decided, shrugging in confusion before walking to his kitchen… and pausing when he noticed the note stuck in the refrigerator door.
He opened and shut the door before picking up the note, and beginning to read.
My dear Vam, it said. I had a wonderful time last night. You’re quite the cutie, not to mention fun to spend time with. I would have loved to spend the night snuggling with you, but sadly, I had work to get ready for in the morning. Still, with how wild things got, it occurred to me you might not remember much of it… so I thought I’d leave you a reminder on your phone. Check your videos~
Call me~
Love,
Kaa
At the bottom of the note was a phone number.
Vam blushed as he finished reading, and went through his videos. Sure enough, one of them was unfamiliar, and he hit play…
And quickly found himself staring into some very familiar spirals, pleasure, memories, and a soft, hissing voice flooding his fuzzy head as a swirly-eyed Vam broke into a silly smile.
Before he knew it, Vam was adding the phone number to his contacts under Master, and eagerly calling his scaly sweetheart.
He couldn’t wait for their next date~
Category All / Hypnosis
Species Bat
Size 1619 x 1333px
File Size 919.1 kB
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