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Visitors & Whispers (7/7)
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I know being treatment compliant keeps things stable and functional and can keep things in remission for years if things play out right and I -am- grateful for not being trapped in hiding all the time or looking fried at every social interaction ever but like… ykno. Nothing is granted forever, things can stop working, maybe shit slips up, the uncertainty makes me feel melancholy; to be fair though I’ve felt like that even before all this new stuff just on the basis of already having a Cyclical Forever Disease (using ‘new’ loosely because i’ve been having these for like 7 years, but they’ll be new to my psych since i’ve been withholding this information from him for all those years)
...Anyways, thank you for reading 🙇♂️
Gentle reminder to not clown too hard please
I know being treatment compliant keeps things stable and functional and can keep things in remission for years if things play out right and I -am- grateful for not being trapped in hiding all the time or looking fried at every social interaction ever but like… ykno. Nothing is granted forever, things can stop working, maybe shit slips up, the uncertainty makes me feel melancholy; to be fair though I’ve felt like that even before all this new stuff just on the basis of already having a Cyclical Forever Disease (using ‘new’ loosely because i’ve been having these for like 7 years, but they’ll be new to my psych since i’ve been withholding this information from him for all those years)
...Anyways, thank you for reading 🙇♂️
Gentle reminder to not clown too hard please
Category Artwork (Traditional) / Comics
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1000 x 1462px
File Size 2.98 MB
Listed in Folders
More good then bad is always pleasant. Though I think our society is messed up in so much that if you aren't always happy, there must be something wrong with you. Emotions are a spectrum, and can come and go fleetingly. Auditory hallucinations are just.... bizarre. Sometimes freaky, sometimes annoying. That vacuum one though I can only imagine is just annoying as all get out.
tbh after having some form of psychiatric dx (or in this case dx's plural over years) starting from when u were a kid you kinda learn real quick that the goal should be functional rather than happy lol... Thankfully i feel like even my shittier psychiatrists also recognize that the general expectation is that treatment for -any- mental disorder just gets you to a baseline neutral; logically can't even get even halfway happy if you're tweaked the fuck out 24/7. Like when i got the initial bipolar dx as a teen i was going around throwing and breaking shit whenever i had enough energy to do anything other than bedrotting
The 'new' problem doesn't necessarily feel tied to mood at this point since those are balanced out just fine (or at least its my standard lukewarm affect, I'm the king of quiet stares lmao) its more like I'm finally recognizing/contending with the fact that my brain is literally boxing shadows and that's now the main shitstarter, or at least the common denominator in recurring situations that i haven't been able to be properly cognizant of until now
but yes the vacuum one is annoying as fuck considering i still live with my dad and its a very small house; you learn to investigate more carefully when the only other person in the house always sleeps with their door open while you're ripping the living room apart trying to find something
The 'new' problem doesn't necessarily feel tied to mood at this point since those are balanced out just fine (or at least its my standard lukewarm affect, I'm the king of quiet stares lmao) its more like I'm finally recognizing/contending with the fact that my brain is literally boxing shadows and that's now the main shitstarter, or at least the common denominator in recurring situations that i haven't been able to be properly cognizant of until now
but yes the vacuum one is annoying as fuck considering i still live with my dad and its a very small house; you learn to investigate more carefully when the only other person in the house always sleeps with their door open while you're ripping the living room apart trying to find something
For some reason I thought you lived alone. Yeah, I can imagine midnight escapades to find the non existent source of noise can be rather troublesome to others in the house. Having personal coping mechanisms and being able to realize things arent as they seem is rather helpful though.
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