how can you hate someone with such cake?

believe me i would know

Only if you let me take a bite!

gotta smoke me for 12 hours like a brisket and then realize i'm dried out

No I'm not poly, but I do compliment you on your buttocks achievement! I aim to be successful as you one day.
Any tips or specific regiments you reccomend?

Eat Cake and only cake but not too much of it.

If only that's the way it worked.
Seriously though I do need advice.

my regiment? uhh it's all over the place but i've stuck to a solid routine since 2019 at least

Cardio days usually 4-5 times a week, 30-40 minutes per sesh (running/cycling). Usually aim for 3-4 mile jogs

Weight lifting days sometimes coincide (i'll occasionally fit in with cardio), bout 3-4 days a week. Those are like, 2 exercises per muscle group, 15-20 reps x 3-4 sets each:


Chest - flyes (3x20), bench press (3x15)

Biceps - incline curl (4x20), standing curl (3x15)

Shoulders - overhead press (3x15), rows (3x15)

Legs - squats (3x15), deadlifts (3x15)

Triceps - skullcrushers (or close-grip press sometimes) (3x20), extensions (sometimes dips) (3x20)

Usually do like 30-40 seconds of rest between sets; full bod workout lasts me maybe upwards of 40-ish minutes

That is incredibly helpful! Thank you so much for the advice!
Do you do anything specifically for your core/abdominal muscles? Or do some of these crossover enough to cover the core?

ehh just barebones situps and bicycle movements, leg raise, planking, blah blah just do it till it burns haha

Alright, thanks again!

Lol you eat hats :P

they're so good and fibrous

Literally a GOATed ass you've got there.

Turn yourself into a Dougwingeresque herm goat, plox.

mmmm i don't know what that means but i can turn myself into an egg

just like in the "lol ur pan now" piece, I gotta wonder if "lol ur poly" stacks if I already am

From one goat to another,
would

from another goat to another

shouldn't

trust me, you'll thank me later

I'll thank you now.
Thank you :)
But I'm down for new experiences, even regrettable ones
From one goat to another

Por que no los dos? XD

Do you wanna get topped?

Cuz This is how you get topped

i like toppings

like maraschino cherries and fudge sauce

Yes you do squats...

but do you do THRUSTS!!!!!!!!!! :D

THAT's the question EVERYone wants answered(maybe2or3do) :D

this is why i have thrust issues.

would you be interested in gay sex, Dul? because with that wonderful cake, I'd be more than willing to show you and your derriere a wonderful time <3

i think i'm mentally too stupid to comprehend what sex is these days, too many bonks to the noggin

well, we'll just have to show what what sex is again, aren't we? ;3

nah

I almost feel bad that you’re out here training so hard for that cake and all I’m doing is transitioning and occasionally doing squats when I’m bored at work u.u
Though it is crazy gender-affirming to see someone with a knockout ass and/or tits and realize mine are on par or bigger.

i wish i could affirm my gender but go off, monarch

out here making the rest of us feel inadequate.

no amount of exercise does anything for my body... honestly, my body hasn't changed since puberty hit me... i've had TWO body types in my whole life.

pre-puberty, i was a scrawny little shit.

post-puberty, my body decided to become husky and i've looked the same for the past 30 years.

i want to transition... though, that's gotten increasingly less likely to happen.

it's fine i'm

clinically ugly to a point where my own family said i looked like a chemo patient lol

cant' fix ugly faces, so if i'm ever dumped again it'll be funny.

dude, you showed your face before, you look good!

don't take anything your family says to heart, you're better than all of them combined.

they know that, and that's why they beat you down, cause they know they'd be screwed without you.

people would be screwed without me, but i emotionally depend on others

we'll survive it's fine

Thicc sona hell yea
Canon now

the cannon is up my ass please get it o ut

Buddy we call that a colon get ur facts straight :V