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A Barbarian in the Eatery
Grant hurriedly entered the court of the king. He had been called in on an urgent summons. With the desperate tone of the note, he assumed there was an attempted assassination... or perhaps an evil demon of some sorts!
"My liege, I've gotten your summons! What is the trouble?" Grant asked. He'd rushed over so quickly, he hadn't given himself time for a breather. He started to pant heavily as he looked around the room. To his confusion, everything seemed in order. There was no combat, no panic, not even so much as a scream. He looked to the king. They seemed just as normal as they'd always been. Aged, tired eyes, grizzled beard, and a delicate silver crown atop their head.
The king caught Grant's stare and immediately knew Grant was confused. "Ahh, yes, the matter is urgent, but, as of right now, it probably isn't something combat-related."
Grant lowered his axe to the ground and rested his arms on it. He lowered his head and took a deep breath before looking back up at the king. "Then... why did you summon me?"
"I suspect some form of treachery with a new eatery in the city," the king announced regally.
"Are they planning a coup?" Grant asked.
"No." The king shook his head. "There have been strange happenings about that place, and-"
"Are citizens going missing?"
"Uh, no..." the king pinched his brow and took a deep breath. "I sent my two advisors to investigate and-"
"Have your advisors gone missing?!" Grant asked.
"Confound it!" The king slammed his fist on the throne. "It's already hard enough to explain! Give me a moment to clarify, Grant!"
"My deepest apologies, my liege."
The king spent several minutes stumbling over his words. He explained how the advisors had gone to the eatery to inspect its safety standards and guidelines, but they hadn't returned back after the day's end. Rather, they came back a week later looking different. The king then called his two advisors to come into the room.
Grant's jaw dropped in shock. Two, well-rounded figures waddled into the room. Their portliness had far exceeded the king's own figure. Grant almost didn't recognize they were the same advisors the king hired several months back. They weren't the most lithe of people then, but certainly not as big as portly as they were now.
"Wha- but... but how?" Grant asked. "This all happened in a week? Or..."
"In essence, yes," the king said. He gestured to his advisors. "These two went there two months ago. They weren't nearly as big when they returned, but they've been getting bigger every day since. Neither seems to be willing to tell me if they keep going to the eatery each night." The king grumbled. "Go there, Grant, and keep your wits about you. With this warning, you may find it easier to overcome what these two could not."
"So... you summoned me, a barbarian fighter, to investigate an eatery for treachery... because your advisors came back fat?" Grant asked.
"It's an odd task, I know, but you have a strong will and an incredible constitution. Whatever sort of mind games they play there shouldn't affect you."
Grant put his finger to his chin in thought. "My liege, I would guess the best way to go about this investigation would be for me to sample to food." He bowed his head. "I accept your request. Where can I find this eatery?"
Grant had gone to the eatery the next day. He chose a direct approach in his tactics and immediately accused the man at the front of the eatery of fattening up the general public. The entire eatery stopped and stared at Grant. The direct approach was not working as he'd hoped.
The man ignored Grant's accusation and took him to the back of the eatery and sat him down at a table. He gave Grant a menu and offered a free drink with whatever Grant would order before leaving into the back to grab food for other guests.
"I must be careful of their mind games," Grant muttered. He selected an item on the menu and ordered it. "I'll have to play along for now...."
The following morning, Grant returned to the king. He had trouble adjusting his gear today. He was unsure why. Perhaps he'd eaten too much last night? The food was surprisingly good and didn't seem poisoned in any way.
When he walked in, the king stared at him with mouth agape. "Grant... what... what happened?"
Grant tilted his head to the side. "Is something the matter, my liege?"
"You look..." the king began to say. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tell me, in detail, what happened."
"I went in with a direct approach. All the guests in the eatery seemed to not like my accusations, but the attendant took me to get seated anyway. I was offered a menu, and-"
"And you declined it and left?"
"No, I ordered food on the menu. As stated, I needed to sample the food. They offered a free drink to go with it."
"Was the drink poisoned?"
"Nope." Grant smirked. "Ate three whole meals and none of them were poisoned!"
"You ate... three... meals?" The king's eye twitched. "Do you usually eat that much?"
"I think so? Us barbarian fighters need a lot of food to keep up our physiques!" Grant patted his belly. "I think I'm just a bit full from all the food last night."
"Okay... but did you find anything out?"
Grant put a hand to his chin in thought. "I suspect they must be putting stuff in it to make people more lethargic?" He lifted an arm and rubbed the back of his head. "Unfortunately, I may need to sample it a bit more to test out this theory, my liege."
A week went by. Despite Grant's efforts, he found it difficult to find anything wrong with the eatery. The food was great, the drinks were top-notch, the people were nice. Overall, his experience at the place was very positive.
In the evening hours of the seventh day, Grant lazily sat at his chair with an arm raised over the back. He had to scoot away from the table a bit, as the attendants seemed to have made the tables bigger... or the chairs smaller. Either way, he found his torso kept bumping into the side of the table. He didn't understand why. It didn't help that his clothing was seeing the wear and tear of time. He'd be able to go through months of battle without so much as a scratch on his armor, but a week at this eatery had his armor already worn.
"Nothing yet," he said while lifting the glass of ale to his mouth. "Maybe I should try one of the other drinks? I've only been having ale here. Nothing fishy about that."
Grant had given up on fully dressing himself a month and a half into his investigation. His pants were now starting to give way to time and stress, but he wouldn't get paid until this job was finished. He had to hold off a little longer. He'd fully moved away from sitting at the tables and opted for an open chair in one of the corners. The tables were too cumbersome for him. He didn't know why.
In the mean time, he was busy scarfing down a delicately roasted morsel of meat. Just biting into it made his mouth water. "Oh kings! This meat is so heavenly! Why haven't I ordered this menu item yet?!"
The chair creaked underneath Grant, but he did his best to ignore it.
Two months of investigating and Grant couldn't find anything suspicious about the eatery. In fact, through his investigations, he ended up becoming a regular. Every day, for every meal, he'd go there and use his discount for being in the king's court. This gave him some affordable selections to fill his ravenous appetite. He could eat fourteen meals a day and still not empty his wallet. It was almost a blessing, even, to have this eatery here!
Today, Grant finally decided he needed to get more adventuring gear. His cape, pants, belt, and even his gloves had become so worn that he couldn't use them anymore. With this in mind, he went back to the king's court.
When Grant walked in, he noticed the king look at him in awestruck horror. He didn't understand why.
"Grant! It's been months since you started! Why haven't you come back to report?!"
"Ahh, well, I kept trying to find any source of the strange happenings. I sampled all the food, questioned all the attendees, and even tried out the special Deep-eating menu."
"And?!" The king's eyes widened and he clenched his hands in the air. He seemed stressed.
"Weeeeelp, your highness, after two months of investigation, I can't find anything wrong with the place." Grant burped. "S'all clear. I'm gonna go celebrate with six meals."
The king put his head in his hands and groaned. "Advisors?"
The two advisors came out from behind the throne. Grant noticed the two were looking a lot larger than they had been the last time Grant had entered the court. Poor souls. If only they knew what was happening to them. Grant was thankful he'd managed to stay clear of that fate.
"Send in that adventurous knight werewolf - urgently. Things have gotten dire." The king grumbled.
Grant arched a brow. Dire? Why were things dire? He just solved the case!
Commission for
Konrothekannon of his character, Grant, investigating an eatery... only to end up becoming another patron to it with a bit of added belly involved. ;D
Grant (C) Konrothekannon
Art (C)
pikminpedia Me
"My liege, I've gotten your summons! What is the trouble?" Grant asked. He'd rushed over so quickly, he hadn't given himself time for a breather. He started to pant heavily as he looked around the room. To his confusion, everything seemed in order. There was no combat, no panic, not even so much as a scream. He looked to the king. They seemed just as normal as they'd always been. Aged, tired eyes, grizzled beard, and a delicate silver crown atop their head.
The king caught Grant's stare and immediately knew Grant was confused. "Ahh, yes, the matter is urgent, but, as of right now, it probably isn't something combat-related."
Grant lowered his axe to the ground and rested his arms on it. He lowered his head and took a deep breath before looking back up at the king. "Then... why did you summon me?"
"I suspect some form of treachery with a new eatery in the city," the king announced regally.
"Are they planning a coup?" Grant asked.
"No." The king shook his head. "There have been strange happenings about that place, and-"
"Are citizens going missing?"
"Uh, no..." the king pinched his brow and took a deep breath. "I sent my two advisors to investigate and-"
"Have your advisors gone missing?!" Grant asked.
"Confound it!" The king slammed his fist on the throne. "It's already hard enough to explain! Give me a moment to clarify, Grant!"
"My deepest apologies, my liege."
The king spent several minutes stumbling over his words. He explained how the advisors had gone to the eatery to inspect its safety standards and guidelines, but they hadn't returned back after the day's end. Rather, they came back a week later looking different. The king then called his two advisors to come into the room.
Grant's jaw dropped in shock. Two, well-rounded figures waddled into the room. Their portliness had far exceeded the king's own figure. Grant almost didn't recognize they were the same advisors the king hired several months back. They weren't the most lithe of people then, but certainly not as big as portly as they were now.
"Wha- but... but how?" Grant asked. "This all happened in a week? Or..."
"In essence, yes," the king said. He gestured to his advisors. "These two went there two months ago. They weren't nearly as big when they returned, but they've been getting bigger every day since. Neither seems to be willing to tell me if they keep going to the eatery each night." The king grumbled. "Go there, Grant, and keep your wits about you. With this warning, you may find it easier to overcome what these two could not."
"So... you summoned me, a barbarian fighter, to investigate an eatery for treachery... because your advisors came back fat?" Grant asked.
"It's an odd task, I know, but you have a strong will and an incredible constitution. Whatever sort of mind games they play there shouldn't affect you."
Grant put his finger to his chin in thought. "My liege, I would guess the best way to go about this investigation would be for me to sample to food." He bowed his head. "I accept your request. Where can I find this eatery?"
Grant had gone to the eatery the next day. He chose a direct approach in his tactics and immediately accused the man at the front of the eatery of fattening up the general public. The entire eatery stopped and stared at Grant. The direct approach was not working as he'd hoped.
The man ignored Grant's accusation and took him to the back of the eatery and sat him down at a table. He gave Grant a menu and offered a free drink with whatever Grant would order before leaving into the back to grab food for other guests.
"I must be careful of their mind games," Grant muttered. He selected an item on the menu and ordered it. "I'll have to play along for now...."
The following morning, Grant returned to the king. He had trouble adjusting his gear today. He was unsure why. Perhaps he'd eaten too much last night? The food was surprisingly good and didn't seem poisoned in any way.
When he walked in, the king stared at him with mouth agape. "Grant... what... what happened?"
Grant tilted his head to the side. "Is something the matter, my liege?"
"You look..." the king began to say. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tell me, in detail, what happened."
"I went in with a direct approach. All the guests in the eatery seemed to not like my accusations, but the attendant took me to get seated anyway. I was offered a menu, and-"
"And you declined it and left?"
"No, I ordered food on the menu. As stated, I needed to sample the food. They offered a free drink to go with it."
"Was the drink poisoned?"
"Nope." Grant smirked. "Ate three whole meals and none of them were poisoned!"
"You ate... three... meals?" The king's eye twitched. "Do you usually eat that much?"
"I think so? Us barbarian fighters need a lot of food to keep up our physiques!" Grant patted his belly. "I think I'm just a bit full from all the food last night."
"Okay... but did you find anything out?"
Grant put a hand to his chin in thought. "I suspect they must be putting stuff in it to make people more lethargic?" He lifted an arm and rubbed the back of his head. "Unfortunately, I may need to sample it a bit more to test out this theory, my liege."
A week went by. Despite Grant's efforts, he found it difficult to find anything wrong with the eatery. The food was great, the drinks were top-notch, the people were nice. Overall, his experience at the place was very positive.
In the evening hours of the seventh day, Grant lazily sat at his chair with an arm raised over the back. He had to scoot away from the table a bit, as the attendants seemed to have made the tables bigger... or the chairs smaller. Either way, he found his torso kept bumping into the side of the table. He didn't understand why. It didn't help that his clothing was seeing the wear and tear of time. He'd be able to go through months of battle without so much as a scratch on his armor, but a week at this eatery had his armor already worn.
"Nothing yet," he said while lifting the glass of ale to his mouth. "Maybe I should try one of the other drinks? I've only been having ale here. Nothing fishy about that."
Grant had given up on fully dressing himself a month and a half into his investigation. His pants were now starting to give way to time and stress, but he wouldn't get paid until this job was finished. He had to hold off a little longer. He'd fully moved away from sitting at the tables and opted for an open chair in one of the corners. The tables were too cumbersome for him. He didn't know why.
In the mean time, he was busy scarfing down a delicately roasted morsel of meat. Just biting into it made his mouth water. "Oh kings! This meat is so heavenly! Why haven't I ordered this menu item yet?!"
The chair creaked underneath Grant, but he did his best to ignore it.
Two months of investigating and Grant couldn't find anything suspicious about the eatery. In fact, through his investigations, he ended up becoming a regular. Every day, for every meal, he'd go there and use his discount for being in the king's court. This gave him some affordable selections to fill his ravenous appetite. He could eat fourteen meals a day and still not empty his wallet. It was almost a blessing, even, to have this eatery here!
Today, Grant finally decided he needed to get more adventuring gear. His cape, pants, belt, and even his gloves had become so worn that he couldn't use them anymore. With this in mind, he went back to the king's court.
When Grant walked in, he noticed the king look at him in awestruck horror. He didn't understand why.
"Grant! It's been months since you started! Why haven't you come back to report?!"
"Ahh, well, I kept trying to find any source of the strange happenings. I sampled all the food, questioned all the attendees, and even tried out the special Deep-eating menu."
"And?!" The king's eyes widened and he clenched his hands in the air. He seemed stressed.
"Weeeeelp, your highness, after two months of investigation, I can't find anything wrong with the place." Grant burped. "S'all clear. I'm gonna go celebrate with six meals."
The king put his head in his hands and groaned. "Advisors?"
The two advisors came out from behind the throne. Grant noticed the two were looking a lot larger than they had been the last time Grant had entered the court. Poor souls. If only they knew what was happening to them. Grant was thankful he'd managed to stay clear of that fate.
"Send in that adventurous knight werewolf - urgently. Things have gotten dire." The king grumbled.
Grant arched a brow. Dire? Why were things dire? He just solved the case!
Commission for
Konrothekannon of his character, Grant, investigating an eatery... only to end up becoming another patron to it with a bit of added belly involved. ;DGrant (C)
KonrothekannonArt (C)
pikminpedia Me
Category Artwork (Digital) / Fat Furs
Species Cow
Size 1151 x 3200px
File Size 3.25 MB
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