Chapter 02

The ambulance arrives at the hospital and Kajsa can see that they are outside the emergency room. The male paramedic exits the ambulance while the female paramedic stays next to Kajsa.

"He's just getting a bed. We'll move you to it when he gets back. You don't need to move."

Kajsa nods quietly. Even though the bed she's lying on is hard, she thinks it's nice to lie here and besides, she can barely lift her head. The headache and pain in her neck have increased and if her nerves in her head and neck could be turned off, she would have wished they had. Kajsa hears rattling noises from outside and the female paramedic drives the bed forward so that it sticks out outside the ambulance doors.

Snow falls like white powder from the sky and Kajsa raises a hand and tries to catch the snow and she feels childishly happy that it's snowing and thinks the snow looks nice. The female nurse smiles when she sees Kajsa trying to catch the snow with her hands. The male nurse appears again and Kajsa lifts her head and sees a large bed in front of her. The bed has large wheels so it is easy to move. The female nurse looks at Kajsa.

"My colleague and I will help you to the bed. Try to be as still as possible."

Kajsa lowers her head and soon she feels strong arms lifting her from the bed and it is not long before she is lying in the large bed. The bed in the ambulance was hard but the bed is soft and the pain in her neck almost disappears when Kajsa's head sinks down onto the soft pillow of the bed. The female and male colleagues talk quickly to each other but Kajsa cannot hear what they are saying.

The male paramedic takes a firm hold of the bed and starts to roll it to the emergency room. Kajsa sees the emergency room doors getting closer and they open automatically. The paramedic drives into the waiting room but doesn't stop there. Kajsa has time to see that there are several people in the waiting room and some of them look injured but not all. The door to the emergency department opens and a doctor greets the paramedic.

"She was involved in a traffic accident and probably has no internal injuries but her blood is not oxygenated properly. She is fully contactable and can answer questions. She has a sore neck and I suspect she has a whiplash injury. She has a headache and I guess she has a concussion"

The doctor looks quickly at Kajsa.

"You can drive her into room 11 and I'll be there as soon as possible"

The nurse drives Kajsa's bed into room number 11 and places the bed there but stays and looks at Kajsa.

"You'll probably feel better soon. You were probably lucky that you weren't hurt worse."

Kajsa looks around and the room feels very sterile and rigid but there are many different gadgets along the wall and she has no idea what they are. Outside the room it seems to be organized chaos. Various doctors are running around outside the door. An alarm is heard from one room and someone is heard crying. Someone is vomiting in a toilet while another person is calling for help. The nurse closes the door so Kajsa doesn't hear all the sounds.

Kajsa has only been here three times. Once she had injured her meniscus and the second time was when she had a bowel obstruction. The third time she didn't need any treatment but came with her mother when she collapsed in the kitchen.

The doctor enters the room and the paramedic who drove the ambulance leaves the room but says a final goodbye to Kajsa before disappearing into the corridor. The doctor walks up to Kajsa and greets her.

"Hi, my name is Dennis and I'm your doctor while you're here. Even though you don't seem to have any internal injuries, I think you should have an X-ray, but first I need some information such as your full name and social security number. I'm going to take a blood test and you can tell me what happened while I do it. Have you had blood tests before?"

Kajsa nods weakly but her neck hurts when she moves her head and she tries to keep it as still as possible.

"Good, then you know it might sting when I make a hole in the skin but the pain goes away quickly"

"Umm yeah."

Kajsa tells her full name and social security number while Dennis takes out a large syringe and looks for a place on Kajsa's arm where he can insert the syringe. Kajsa tells about how the accident happened while Dennis washes with alcohol where he will insert the syringe. Kajsa does not mention that it was a unicorn that she collided with and she is not asked what kind of animal it was. Dennis presses the syringe down and it stings Kajsa's arm but the pain in her neck is worse than the sting so she barely reacts. Dennis asks a few questions about how she felt before the collision and if she has drunk any alcohol. Kajsa answers all the questions and Dennis nods and makes notes on a piece of paper.
Dennis pulls out the syringe after a few minutes and Kajsa can see that he has filled several test tubes with her blood. Dennis attaches a large plaster where he inserted the syringe. Dennis smiles at Kajsa in that way that doctors often do and gets up from a chair. Kajsa didn't even notice that he was sitting on the chair when he filled the test tubes.

"I have to go and check the tests. Wait here."

"I'm not going anywhere so you don't have to worry" Kajsa can't help but joke with Dennis and he gets the joke and smiles.

Kajsa is left alone and she lies looking up at the white ceiling. The lighting on the ceiling is bright and Kajsa avoids looking directly at the lights. There doesn't seem to be a window in the room but there is a large mirror over by the sink. Kajsa hears several footsteps outside the door and some of them are fast while others are slower. Kajsa can see when the doctors pass outside the door but she doesn't see any patients. They are probably also lying in beds or in their own rooms.

Kajsa smells coffee and she gets a craving for coffee and she thinks about asking the doctor if he can fix her a cup of coffee later. Maybe he can fix her a sandwich too. Kajsa starts to feel hungry as she thinks about the coffee and the sandwich.

Dennis comes back and he goes directly behind Kajsa's bed and seems to be looking for something. Kajsa wonders what's going on but says nothing. She's sure Dennis will explain if there's anything important she should know. Dennis seems to have found what he was looking for and he places a large round tube next to Kajsa's bed. The tube resembles the gas cylinders that divers use. Dennis fiddles with some hoses and gets a rubber face mask that can fit over the entire mouth and most of the face. Kajsa has breathed in such a mask before and she disliked the sharp rubber smell.

Dennis connects the hoses from the tube to the breathing mask and places the mask on Kajsa's chest. Dennis looks seriously at Kajsa and starts to speak.

"You have mild carbon monoxide poisoning and need to breathe oxygen from this tube. Since you have mild symptoms, you'll need to breathe oxygen for maybe half an hour."

"Carbon monoxide poisoning? Is it dangerous?"

"It's deadly in fairly small amounts. Your dad's car's exhaust system probably isn't tight, which is letting carbon monoxide into the car. What you described earlier are typical early symptoms of carbon monoxide poisoning, but I wanted to make sure it was. I've scheduled an x-ray in an hour, and you should feel better by then. If not, you can wear the mask while they examine you. Do you have any questions?"

"So... if I hadn't hit the animal, I could have died?"

"Probably, but it depends on how far away the people you were supposed to visit live."

"They live about 30 minutes away."

"Yeah, you could have lost consciousness and died."

Dennis picks up the respirator and approaches Kajsa's face. Kajsa makes a stop sign with her hand.

"Excuse me, is there another type of respirator that doesn't smell like rubber?"

"No, unfortunately. These are the only ones we have. Can I put it on now? You need the oxygen. Your body will get used to it after a while"

Kajsa nods quietly and Dennis attaches the breathing mask to Kajsa's face and opens the oxygen so that Kajsa can breathe it in. The breathing mask smells terribly bad and makes Kajsa nauseous but she tries to think of something else and soon the nausea disappears and Kajsa no longer thinks about the smell. Kajsa takes deep breaths and draws the oxygen into her lungs but so far she doesn't feel any different from before. Dennis stands looking at Kajsa but he is also writing things on a piece of paper. Dennis looks up from his paper.

"You said you had a sore neck. Can I look at it?"

"Yes"

Dennis carefully lifts Kajsa's head and inspects her neck.

"Hmm. Your neck looks swollen. I think I can put an ice pack under your pillow. Hopefully it will help reduce the swelling. Is it okay if I put an ice pack under your pillow? It will be really cold, but I think you will find it good for your neck."

Kajsa mumbles a thank you and Dennis leaves the room to get an ice pack. Kajsa continues to inhale the oxygen and she thinks about her friends who are probably waiting for her. Kajsa feels like she should call her friends and explain that she will not be coming so they do not have to worry. Kajsa decides to call when she is no longer wearing the breathing mask and she wonders if she can go home after the X-ray or if the doctor wants her to stay overnight.

Kajsa thinks about what the doctor said about the carbon monoxide and the leaky exhaust system. The problem could not have been there when Kajsa and Monika went on their last road trip because they would have died if the problem had been there. The problem could not have been there when the family drove to the hospital and visited Monika during her last days. Nor at the funeral or when they drove to Kalmar and donated many of Monika's things.

When Kajsa thinks about it, she remembers something strange that happened just before Christmas. Kajsa visited the family over a weekend and Bertil drove to Ullared. It was probably because he wanted to get away from the villa and all the memories. The trip to Ullared went well, but on the way home the car broke down and there was a loud bang in the exhaust pipe. Bertil drove slower and finally felt compelled to drive to a workshop, which he did, but the car worked as it should when a mechanic checked it. Bertil drove home and about half an hour before they got home the problem returned and there was an even louder bang in the exhaust pipe. Göran was amused but the others were worried.

A few days later Bertil took the car to a workshop but they found nothing wrong. Bertil has hardly used the car since then, but Jack has used it a few times, but he hasn't driven very far. Today was the first time the car has been used for a long time.

Dennis comes back and has an ice pack with him, but also a visitor. Kajsa is very happy when she sees that Jack has company with the doctor. Jack walks over to Kajsa's bed and grins slightly.

"You look like some kind of sci-fi creature with that breathing mask on. The doctor just told me that you have mild carbon monoxide poisoning. That could have been really bad."

Dennis walks behind Kajsa's bed.

"I need to lift your head so I can put the ice pack under the pillow. Is that okay?"

"Absolutely."

Dennis carefully lifts her head and puts the ice pack under the pillow. Kajsa feels the cold as she puts her head back against the pillow, but it is a welcome cold. Kajsa feels that she needs to know if the unicorn is with the family but she can't talk about it since the doctor is here and she thinks about how to phrase her question. Jack sits down at the chair the doctor was sitting on earlier and he reaches out his hand to Kajsa and she grabs it and holds it tightly.

"Ouff. You have strong hands. I have to say that."

Kajsa knows how to ask and she starts to speak but realizes that Jack can't possibly understand what she's saying since she's wearing the breathing mask so she lifts it up and asks her question.

"Is everything fixed? Even the thing with Göran?"

"Absolutely. You don't need to worry. Bertil was surprised but took it well."

Kajsa relaxes when she hears the answer and she fastens the breathing mask and continues breathing. Dennis takes out two clothespin-like things and puts them on a finger on each of her right and left hands and he turns on a monitor that is next to Kajsa. Dennis studies the monitor and looks pleased.

"Your blood is getting better oxygen now, but keep breathing through the breathing mask. I'll be back soon. I have to help another patient."

Kajsa feels that her neck already feels less swollen. Dennis leaves the room and Kajsa and Jack are left alone. They are both silent. Kajsa feels something in her head click and part of the headache begins to disappear. The click feels almost like when a severe headache begins to disappear and Kajsa understands that the oxygen has started to work. Kajsa's brain begins to function normally and it feels as if someone is pulling away an inner blanket over her brain and exposing it and it is a nice feeling. Kajsa slowly begins to feel like she usually does except that she still has a headache and a sore neck. Jack looks at Kajsa.

"Now I recognize your usual look. You looked absent when I got to the accident scene. You didn't even react when I arrived."

Kajsa lifts her breathing mask so that she can talk to Jack without him having to think about what she is saying.

"I looked into the unicorn's eyes and sort of disappeared into another world but I was probably affected by the poisoning too."

Jack looks away and Kajsa takes a firmer grip on his hand and looks serious.

"You understand that the unicorn saved my life, right?"

"I guess so, but don't think about it now."

"It reminded me a lot of my mother. I know I've said that many things remind me of my mother since she died, but there was something special about that unicorn."

"Mmm. The strange thing is that Göran said that too, but I don't see the similarities. Speaking of mother. Tonight her favorite movie is being broadcast on SVT. You know, that romantic movie with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan."

"Okay, I'm not going to watch it. Mom and I watched it so many times when she was in the ward and I'll cry a lot if I watch it again."

"I understand. I've never watched the whole movie because it didn't appeal to me."

Kajsa lets go of Jack's hand and puts the breathing mask back on and continues to breathe in the oxygen. The strange throbbing headache has gone but has been replaced by nausea and she feels more tired than before. Kajsa finds the bright lights in the ceiling uncomfortable and would like them to be dimmed. Jack is standing looking at a large board showing the inside of the body and internal parts. Dennis enters the room and he looks at the monitor and looks satisfied.

"You probably don't need to use the breathing mask anymore. How are you feeling?"

"Well, most of the headache is gone but I've started to feel sick instead and I think the lights in the ceiling are too bright."

"It's probably because you got a concussion in the crash. I'll get a small bowl in case you need to throw up."

Dennis takes out a tin bowl and places it near the bed. Kajsa removes the breathing mask and places it on her stomach. Dennis removes the breathing mask and hangs it on a wall. Kajsa waves one hand for Dennis to pay attention to her and he turns to Kajsa.

"Do you think I can go home after the X-ray?"

"No, we'd like to keep you for observation overnight. If you feel fine tomorrow, you can probably go home."

"Shall I lie down here at the emergency room then?"

"No, if the X-ray looks okay, you'll be placed in a ward for observation. They have staff around the clock. I'll take another blood test if that's okay."

"Sure, go ahead."

Kajsa extends her arm and Dennis smiles and looks for a suitable place to push the syringe in. Dennis doesn't want to use the same place as before. There's a big band-aid where Kajsa was stung. Kajsa has a good pulse in her veins and Dennis finds a good spot and takes out the rubbing alcohol and washes the skin so that it's completely clean where he's inserting the syringe. Dennis takes out a syringe and sticks it into the skin of Kajsa's arm. It stings, but Kajsa barely reacts to the sting. Jack looks impressed.

"You handle that better than me. I hate injections."

"Heh, I've been through worse pain. It hurt a lot when I tore my meniscus at that soccer camp."

"I remember that. Monika sat by your bed most of the night. She felt so sorry for you."

"Mom always cared more about others than herself and she wanted everyone's well-being."

"I know. I wish we were like that too."

Dennis has filled several test tubes with Kajsa's blood and he takes out the syringe and puts a larger plaster on the skin and looks at his watch.

"Now it's probably time for me to take you to the X-ray. When you're done there, I'll come and pick you up."

"Maybe Jack can drive me down here when I'm done?" Kajsa looks at Jack questioningly and he nods.

Jack accompanies the doctor to the large elevators that can accommodate a large bed. The doctor presses on the 3rd floor and when the elevator comes up, Jack and Dennis help pull out the bed and roll it into the X-ray department. Dennis talks to an employee and then goes to the elevator and goes down to the emergency room.

Jack drives to the waiting room and there is no one else there right now so Jack and Kajsa are left alone again. Jack sits down on a chair and sighs and looks at Kajsa. Kajsa wonders why Jack is sighing and she looks questioning. Jack meets her gaze and starts to tell her.

"I don't know if you've heard, but Bertil is thinking of selling the villa and moving to an apartment in the city. He says there are too many things that remind him of Monika and besides, only he and Göran live in the villa. Bertil thinks the villa is too big."

"That sounds logical, but how does Göran react to this?"

"Well, that's the big problem. Göran refuses to move from the villa. He doesn't want to live in an apartment, he says."

"But it's Bertil's villa and he's the one who decides. He and Monika bought it together. I think Göran is terrified that Bertil will force him to get his own apartment if they move from the villa."

"I think you're absolutely right, but it's also true that Göran has major mental health problems after Monika's death and he's tried to take his own life."

"But what are you saying? You haven't told me about that."

"I didn't want to worry you."

"Of course I'm worried. Was it at work that he tried to take his life?"

"No, at home. He took a bunch of sleeping pills but Bertil discovered what he had done and called the hospital so they pumped his stomach. It happened last week."

When Kajsa thinks about it, she remembers that Bertil said that something had happened when they talked to each other at the end of the week, but Bertil never mentioned what had happened and Kajsa never asked, but when Bertil talked about it, it didn't sound like a big problem. Kajsa thinks that a suicide attempt is a serious problem.

"Damn. I was worried at Christmas when I came down to the basement and saw Bertil drinking vodka straight from the bottle. I hope he doesn't do that anymore."

"Bertil and I have talked about it and so far he is sober every day except on the weekend when he drinks a beer or whiskey. Christmas was a tough time for all of us."

"Oh, you don't have to remind me of the misery."

"But you were the one who started talking about it. Well, Bertil has looked at a few apartments and one of them is close to Göran's job so he doesn't have to be late."

The room becomes quiet and Kajsa thinks about how a large part of the family is falling apart. It is probably only Jack who has not shown any negative tendencies and that is probably mainly because he is the strongest psychologically of them all. Jack is as strong psychologically as Monika was and Kajsa wishes she was just as strong. Kajsa also thinks about how grief can affect different people. Jack is probably the one who has shown the least sadness but he has a big kind heart and Kajsa knows that. Maybe Jack can take out his sadness by helping people in need. It could be that simple.

The door to the X-ray opens and a short doctor looks out over the waiting room and sees Kajsa. The doctor walks over to the bed.

"You must be Nina Kajsa Edelgren"

"Absolutely, but I don´t use my first name, just Kajsa."

"Well, okay. You have time for the X-ray. I'll wheel you into the room and an assistant can help lift you onto the X-ray table. It can be moved back and forth through the X-ray machine."

The doctor rolls Kajsa's bed into the room and Kajsa wonders if Jack should come with her, but the doctor says that there shouldn't be a lot of people in the room when she's being X-rayed. Jack has to wait outside the room. The room is large and most of it is taken up by a gigantic X-ray machine. Kajsa has been X-rayed before, but that machine was smaller than this one. There is another doctor in the room and they help lift Kajsa out of bed and put her on the X-ray table.

Kajsa has to take out her house keys and other metal objects from her trouser pockets because they can affect the X-ray. The keys and other objects, as well as her mobile phone, are placed in the hospital bed and the two doctors pull out the X-ray machine so that it is right over Kajsa's body. The doctors tell Kajsa to lie as still as possible and then they start the machine. The X-ray machine starts to move back and forth over Kajsa and it seems as if it is moving from her head down to her toes. Something inside the X-ray machine is moving quickly and there are rapid clicking sounds. Kajsa thinks the X-ray machine is like something out of a sci-fi movie and she tries to lie as still as possible.

The X-ray machine hums loudly and whatever is moving inside the machine moves more slowly and after a minute or so everything goes quiet. One of the doctors pulls out the X-ray table and moves it towards the bed. The two doctors help each other and put Kajsa in bed and move the bed out of the room.

"That's it. You can go down to the emergency room again and your doctor will look at the pictures and see if you need surgery."

Jack is sitting on a chair in the waiting room but gets up immediately when the doctor comes with Kajsa and he greets the doctor.

"I'm part of the family. I'll drive her down to the emergency room."

"Okay."

The doctor recognizes Jack because he helped the doctor when he was injured in a carcrash last year. Jack takes the bed and walks towards the elevator that leads to the emergency room. A male patient moves towards the waiting room but this patient is not in a bed but has a walker with him. The corridor is so wide that both the bed and the walker can fit next to each other so Jack does not have to wait for the patient to pass.

Jack gets to the elevator and presses the button, but he doesn't have to wait long for the doors to open and he can roll the bed into the elevator and press the elevator button that leads to the emergency room. When the elevator is down in the emergency room again, Jack rolls the bed to room number 11. Dennis is not there right now. Jack moves Kajsa's bed a little further in than it was before and she can see that there is a large clock hanging above the door. She didn't see it before.

Jack looks at his watch and looks troubled.

"Unfortunately, I have to go back to work. Well, I see that you seem to be able to handle yourself. I'll probably see you tomorrow."

"Of course you have to finish your work for the evening. There are probably a lot of drivers who drive off the road or have crashes. How long do you work?"

"Until midnight or so if backup isn't needed. Then I might work until 3 a.m. but I hope not."

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

"Well. Bye"

Jack leaves the room and Kajsa is left alone and she can see that the clock above the door shows 9 pm. This means that Jack has about three hours left of his work shift and it also means that the party that Kajsa was on her way to has started.

Kajsa remembers that she hasn't called her friends and said she won't be coming, so she needs to do that now. Kajsa finds her cell phone and calls the people who have organized the party and tells them that unfortunately she can't come. Kajsa says that she has had an accident but that she is okay except for the concussion. The people who have organized the party are of course worried when they hear that Kajsa has had an accident, but she assures them that she is okay and that they don't need to worry. Kajsa says that she hopes they have fun even if she isn't there and she hears in the background that the visitors seem to be having fun. The conversation ends after a while and Kajsa's neck hurts again because she has had her head lifted from the pillow when she has been talking to the people who have organized the party.

Kajsa lowers her head against the soft pillow and finds it comfortable. Kajsa lies down and looks at the minute hand of the clock and it moves slowly forward and she starts to feel bored and sleepy. Dennis hasn't come back yet and Kajsa closes her eyes. It doesn't matter if she falls asleep. Kajsa can faintly hear the sounds from outside the corridor but it seems as if the doctors aren't running around in the corridor anymore. Maybe they don't have that many patients right now. Kajsa's nausea comes and goes and sometimes it seems to have disappeared but it comes back after a while. Kajsa sighs loudly and tries to block out the bright light and embrace the darkness but as soon as she moves her eyelids the light comes in through the darkness.

Kajsa is not aware of what time it is but finally the door opens and Dennis enters the room and Kajsa opens her eyes again. Dennis looks positive so he probably has good news.

"The X-ray showed no damage to your organs except for a small injury to the chest but there was no bleeding there. The X-ray showed that you have a moderate concussion and that your neck is swollen but your respiratory organs are not affected by the swelling. There is a minor swelling in your back so it is possible that you will have back pain later during the night. I will give you painkillers so that the pain in your neck will not bother you as much. I will drive you up to the ward for observation. If you feel well tomorrow you can go home. Do you have any questions?"

Kajsa has no questions so she shakes her head slightly. Kajsa has never visited the ward for observation but she guesses that it is like the other wards. Dennis fills a plastic glass with water and then takes out two painkillers and gives them to Kajsa. Kajsa sits up in bed and swallows the tablets and water, but she puts her head on the pillow when she has swallowed. Dennis smiles and takes a firm hold of the bed and rolls it out of room number 11 and towards the large elevators. Kajsa looks up at the ceiling and is fascinated by the checkered ceiling in the corridor. She has not noticed it before on the previous occasions she has visited the emergency room. When Dennis has rolled the bed into the elevator, he presses the button for floor 2 and the elevator goes up.

When the elevator arrives, Dennis pulls out the bed and it looks like he's used to this kind of work. An automatic door opens and Dennis rolls the bed into the ward. There's a nurse in the hallway and Dennis tells her quickly about what's happened and the nurse nods. When they've finished talking, Dennis walks towards the exit and the nurse leans over Kajsa's bed and Kajsa takes her hand and greets the nurse.

"Hi, my name is Sylvia and I work here. I'm going to move your bed into a free room. I think room number 5 is free. We'll see."

Sylvia moves Kajsa's bed towards room number 5 and it turns out to be empty. There is only room for one bed in this room and Sylvia smiles at Kajsa. Sylvia places Kajsa's bed in the middle of the room and there is a large TV opposite the bed. Sylvia and Kajsa start talking to each other and while they are talking Sylvia hangs Kajsa's thick jacket in a large wardrobe.

"You don't have to share a room with anyone else and have your own TV. Good, right?"

"Well, that's nice."

"Okay, you look pretty good. If there's anyone you need, just let me know."

"I'm still a little sick but it seems to be going away but I feel a little hungry. I'd like some sandwiches and a cup of coffee."

"Of course. Do you want any special bread or spreads or is it okay with white bread with cheese and cucumber."

"That sounds good. If you have some, I'd like some milk in my coffee."

"I'll fix that. I'll get you some hospital clothes to wear while you're here. By the way, the room is luxurious. You even have your own toilet."

Sylvia points to a smaller room that Kajsa didn't even notice when she entered the room and Sylvia is right. The door to the smaller room is half open and Kajsa can see that it contains a toilet and sink. Sylvia smiles at Kajsa and leaves the room to fix Kajsa´s food. There is a large hospital table with wheels next to the bed and on top of the table is a remote control for the TV and Kajsa grabs it and turns on the TV. The latest news for the day has just been shown and soon a rerun of some documentary will be shown. Kajsa switches to the next channel and there is mom's favorite movie and Kajsa quickly switches to the next channel. There is some light entertainment program and Kajsa thinks she may watch it.

There is a large window in the room and the blinds are up and Kajsa can see how the snow is falling outside the window and she thinks that Jack must have a lot to do tonight. Kajsa finds herself watching the snow outside the window more than the entertainment program on TV and she turns off the TV. There is a large wall clock next to the TV set and Kajsa can see that it is almost midnight. Kajsa guesses that she arrived at the hospital at 6 pm and she remembers that she ate food at 3 pm. Therefore it is not surprising that she is starting to get hungry.

Sylvia comes back and she has a large plate with several sandwiches and a cup of coffee and her clothes. The cup is not as big as the cups that Kajsa has at home but that doesn't matter to her. Sylvia puts the plate on the hospital table and Kajsa moves the remote control so that it is not in the way of the plate. Kajsa starts eating the first sandwich and Sylvia stands and watches her. Kajsa thinks she recognizes Sylvia and Sylvia seems to do the same. Sylvia clears her throat discreetly.

"You're Monika's daughter, aren't you? Monika died of back cancer and I'm sure you visited her in the cancer ward. I worked there before I came to this ward."

"Yes, that's true. Monika was my mother."

"I thought I recognized you. Your mother was always so kind to everyone."

"I know. It's just a shame that the back cancer was discovered so late. She should have sought treatment earlier, but mom was always so stubborn but also kind."

"She probably didn't think the back pain was as serious as it actually was."

"Probably not."

Kajsa has eaten two sandwiches while she has answered Sylvia and there are three sandwiches left. Sylvia goes to the window and lowers the blinds, and Kajsa doesn't protest. She's tired and wants to sleep, but she's going to eat the sandwiches first. Kajsa looks up at the bright fluorescent light on the ceiling and sees that there's a smaller lamp next to the hospital table. Sylvia sees that Kajsa looks troubled and she goes to her bed.

"Is something wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

"Can you turn off the light on the ceiling? It's so bright, and I'd rather have the lamp next to the table on instead."

"Of course."

Sylvia turns off the ceiling light while Kajsa turns on the lamp at the hospital table and it has a more subdued lighting. It is a more pleasant light for Kajsa's tired eyes.

"Better that way?"

Kajsa nods quietly and eats the last sandwiches and slurps the last of her coffee. Sylvia sees that the plate is empty and she takes it and the now empty coffee cup and stands by the door. Kajsa sits in bed and she is going to put on her hospital clothes but she wants to be alone while she does so.

"If you need any help, press the alarm button hanging by the table. I'll close the door so you can sleep without being disturbed by the light in the corridor."

"Mmm. Thanks."

Sylvia closes the door and Kajsa gets out of bed and changes into her hospital clothes. They are not as warm as her own clothes but there is a warm blanket in the bed that she can pull up over her body. Kajsa crawls back into bed and turns off the small lamp by the table. She wants to sleep. Kajsa still feels a little sick but she is not bothered by it and she relaxes and lets herself fall asleep. It is not long before Kajsa is fast asleep. The snow continues to fall outside the window, turning the ground white.