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More from Cerine Hero
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Back Together, Part 2
What you'll find here:
Busty snow leopard and beefy lioness
Futuristic space opera setting
Slow burn romance
Zevah continues to struggle with her feelings a week after Auri moving in, and being heavily distracted tends to be a bad thing when you work at the spaceport. And she should know! (I never planned synopses for multiple chapters XD)
(Also for Gabo, the wolf, the voice my head gave him while writing his lines was Yao from Mulan, the short soldier XD)
Busty snow leopard and beefy lioness
Futuristic space opera setting
Slow burn romance
Zevah continues to struggle with her feelings a week after Auri moving in, and being heavily distracted tends to be a bad thing when you work at the spaceport. And she should know! (I never planned synopses for multiple chapters XD)
(Also for Gabo, the wolf, the voice my head gave him while writing his lines was Yao from Mulan, the short soldier XD)
What do YOU think? Please drop me a comment down below! n.n
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http://ko-fi.com/cerinehero
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Category Story / Fantasy
Species Snow Leopard
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 108.6 kB
I'm back for part 2! Once again a lot of this are just notes I have while I read but there's a lot to go over.
"Though not as fluffy as Au-"
I really like when you do this with your writing, where you have the narrative shift as if another voice is briefly taking over. I remember when you did this in a story I comm'd from you a while back, where Ellis the hyena's thoughts kept going in different directions. It's very well done and it's one of my favorite things you do when you write. You kind of do it again when she starts day-dreaming about Auri during work. Very cute!
Poor Zev, though. To be going through all that turmoil, only to be confronted by the objectively pretty sight of her crush in a wet towel and with many rosettes and ample cleavage to display. I'd probably be a mess too.
The start of this part has made it clear that it's Zev with the crush, while Auri is just friends with her. I'm pretty sure you made that clear in the first part of the story as well, but I've definitely figured it out by now!
I really like Gabo, haha. Didn't think I would at first, since it seems like Zev's first thought about him is that his voice is like sandpaper, which I thought meant he was like a bully or something. But instead he was actually very supportive, just in a gruff way. I like characters like this a lot, where they have a rough exterior but they have their own way of caring for others. I can tell he meant well enough though he conveyed it far differently compared to someone like, say, Ciri. And I can tell he at least kind of respects Zev because he makes it clear that he's been listening and remembering what she's said about Auri over the months, which is a good detail. Overall a very unique character interaction. And I'm glad the drones didn't collide!
I've read some of Auri's books!! She made one a while back with a shark-canine girl and one about a chunky werewolf. But seriously, I like the detail of her stylus rolling under the bed because it was previously being balanced on her nose. From that sentence alone it's clear that the motivation isn't coming. I admire your ability to write something like this instead of something like "Auri was bored and unmotivated."
The photo of Zev with palm fruits is funny to imagine!
I sadly predicted that the park outing would be a short-lived experience. Despite how wonderful parks tend to be IRL, I've heard of a few stories where they are not as relaxing as they ought to be (especially when there's a lot of sports games happening there at the same time).
I wonder what a Pantheris accent sounds like?
But I like how Auri wises up to Rennart's words quickly. A good writer like her is smart with words, and she can totally tell when someone's trying to hit on her! I can tell her experience with another character has been quite different from Zev's. Speaking of which. I like how the bear at the bakery talks to her, I can tell she stops by a lot.
What song was Auri listening to? The world may never know...
"It's just low-han-" Hahaha
This part has been a great opportunity to learn more about the characters and their lives, and to get to know a few other characters as well. Like I said, I like how Zev seems to be very well-acclimated into this environment, since everyone seems to know her pretty well. Whereas Auri is totally still a tourist but at least she meets someone who is also technically a tourist, or at least has an ex that was.
I'm just glad that Auri has settled in relatively well, I was a bit nervous that the story was going to take a darker route in which Auri disliked the new space, but it seems more like she's just very unfamiliar with (and a little intimidated by) it.
Tension is still high in this part... I can tell a lot is going to happen in the next part.
I wonder how Zev will act, and I wonder how Auri will react! I'm very interested to see how this concludes.
You're doing a good job!
"Though not as fluffy as Au-"
I really like when you do this with your writing, where you have the narrative shift as if another voice is briefly taking over. I remember when you did this in a story I comm'd from you a while back, where Ellis the hyena's thoughts kept going in different directions. It's very well done and it's one of my favorite things you do when you write. You kind of do it again when she starts day-dreaming about Auri during work. Very cute!
Poor Zev, though. To be going through all that turmoil, only to be confronted by the objectively pretty sight of her crush in a wet towel and with many rosettes and ample cleavage to display. I'd probably be a mess too.
The start of this part has made it clear that it's Zev with the crush, while Auri is just friends with her. I'm pretty sure you made that clear in the first part of the story as well, but I've definitely figured it out by now!
I really like Gabo, haha. Didn't think I would at first, since it seems like Zev's first thought about him is that his voice is like sandpaper, which I thought meant he was like a bully or something. But instead he was actually very supportive, just in a gruff way. I like characters like this a lot, where they have a rough exterior but they have their own way of caring for others. I can tell he meant well enough though he conveyed it far differently compared to someone like, say, Ciri. And I can tell he at least kind of respects Zev because he makes it clear that he's been listening and remembering what she's said about Auri over the months, which is a good detail. Overall a very unique character interaction. And I'm glad the drones didn't collide!
I've read some of Auri's books!! She made one a while back with a shark-canine girl and one about a chunky werewolf. But seriously, I like the detail of her stylus rolling under the bed because it was previously being balanced on her nose. From that sentence alone it's clear that the motivation isn't coming. I admire your ability to write something like this instead of something like "Auri was bored and unmotivated."
The photo of Zev with palm fruits is funny to imagine!
I sadly predicted that the park outing would be a short-lived experience. Despite how wonderful parks tend to be IRL, I've heard of a few stories where they are not as relaxing as they ought to be (especially when there's a lot of sports games happening there at the same time).
I wonder what a Pantheris accent sounds like?
But I like how Auri wises up to Rennart's words quickly. A good writer like her is smart with words, and she can totally tell when someone's trying to hit on her! I can tell her experience with another character has been quite different from Zev's. Speaking of which. I like how the bear at the bakery talks to her, I can tell she stops by a lot.
What song was Auri listening to? The world may never know...
"It's just low-han-" Hahaha
This part has been a great opportunity to learn more about the characters and their lives, and to get to know a few other characters as well. Like I said, I like how Zev seems to be very well-acclimated into this environment, since everyone seems to know her pretty well. Whereas Auri is totally still a tourist but at least she meets someone who is also technically a tourist, or at least has an ex that was.
I'm just glad that Auri has settled in relatively well, I was a bit nervous that the story was going to take a darker route in which Auri disliked the new space, but it seems more like she's just very unfamiliar with (and a little intimidated by) it.
Tension is still high in this part... I can tell a lot is going to happen in the next part.
I wonder how Zev will act, and I wonder how Auri will react! I'm very interested to see how this concludes.
You're doing a good job!
Eeee, thank you! n.n
I realized while planning this story that it would ultimately be a story about Zevah more than Auri, and this segment REALLY leans into it.
The scene with Gabo was different for me to write because Zevah is my first blue-collar character, and so her interactions at work are different from what Megan or Sienna would deal with. He's an old papa wolf and he keeps an eye on Zev n.n
And yes, Auri is pretty self-aware, it's one way I try to differentiate her from Cerine, who is clueless to a fault. Or at least she was, but she's gotten better about it XD
I realized while planning this story that it would ultimately be a story about Zevah more than Auri, and this segment REALLY leans into it.
The scene with Gabo was different for me to write because Zevah is my first blue-collar character, and so her interactions at work are different from what Megan or Sienna would deal with. He's an old papa wolf and he keeps an eye on Zev n.n
And yes, Auri is pretty self-aware, it's one way I try to differentiate her from Cerine, who is clueless to a fault. Or at least she was, but she's gotten better about it XD
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