I just can't help it. Despite being a native Angeleno, I get starstruck way too easily. Even the smallest of creators, hundreds of views per video or whatever, feel so high above me. Maybe it's jealousy - I could never hack it in the media myself. But whenever I'm around someone like that, I just lose my damn nerve.

And this guy, Lucas, has way more than a small cult following. He's the biggest Youtube chef since Babish, man. I never would imagine that this guy, of all people, would chat me up on Discord. As it turns out, he's real good friends with Riley, a bat who loves to kiss and tell. He tells me that he's gonna be in town for VidCon, he's heard that I know all the best spots in LA, and was wondering if I had any suggestions. I jokingly threw out Mother Wolf - a place you need to be a bona fide movie star or royalty to even hope to get a table. Not even five minutes later, he gets back to me - he's somehow gotten a reservation... for two.

So here I am, dining at the hottest restaurant in Hollywood in the company of a handsome, cream-colored ferret with piercing blue eyes. We don't talk about his career or fame. Instead, we just trade stories of all the overhyped restaurants in LA and Northwind. He's even more enamored with me than I am with him. I have no idea what he sees in me, but I don't complain. I caress his leg under the table, and we find that we've got two ends of the same string of spaghetti in our mouths. We let it take us where we both want to be.

Art by , Lucas belongs to .