Firstly, a huge thanks to tanasweet123 from whom I commissioned the preview image. They had crafted a load of profiles and images on thier DA profile pertaining to their ideas for a third Psychonauts game, with lots of enemy profiles. I highly suggest you give them a look, because it is some good stuff. Anyways, of thier enemy designs, for some reason the OCD really spoke to me and ended up leading to this.


Also, I feel I should make it clear from the outset that while I am using the OCD concept (again, with permission), this story should be seen as seperate from tanasweet123's general P3 ideas. Consider this story as fanfiction within fanfiction.

"We are through the looking glass, people."

__________________________________________________

Though Censors are one of the many important workers of the human brain, their job being to literally stamp out thoughts that don’t belong, they do their job without thinking themselves. This can them a dangerous nuisance for any Psychonaut, trainee or Full-Time. That being said, no needle-nosed suit-and-tie creep could ever be a match for-“

“Raz, are you monologuing to yourself again?”

Razputin Aquato dropped the zonked Censor in his hands, blushing at his girlfriend and fellow agent’s prodding. “Sorry Lili, couldn’t help it. I’m just too excited. I mean, this has been just about the greatest week of my life!”

In most kids, such a statement would be an exaggeration, but there was no denial it would take a serious shake-up to beat the week Raz was having. When it had started, Raz was little more than a runaway circus performer, but in that time he proved himself to the elite group of psychic soldiers and agents known as Psychonauts twice over, learned more psy-abilities than he ever could teaching himself, got over his parental issues, brought the founding members of Psychonauts back together, (his grandmother among them, who was actually his great aunt, but still) and saved the world. Again, at least twice! As Raz stepped over the fallen bodies of Censors and sticky puddles of Doubt residue, he couldn’t help but squee with absolute joy.

All of this paled in comparison to the coup de gras of it all: Here he was on a mission as a true-blue agent of the Psychonauts (a junior agent to be sure, but still an official agent) and even better, was on a mission with his girlfriend Lili Zonato.

Lili herself was standing over a pile of Censors and Regrets, her pyrokinetic abilities charring the stamp-pushers and insectoids to ash.

“That takes care of the party crashers.” Lili said as she dusted her hands off on her skirt, “Anyone comes in, they’ll think the Censors and Doubts just started brawling each other.”

Raz looked back, wincing as he realized the damage the room was in. As the two kids were rummaging through brain of a highly disgruntled museum worker, it only made sense the place was modeled after his place of business; walls that varied between beige and marble with fresh splatters of dark violet Doubt residue, shattered glass cabinets lining the walls with artifacts along with the suspect’s own dreams and the occasional dazed memory vault, and exclusive to this room, a massive Venus flytrap chewing on a mouthful of Regrets which the fauna-tuned Lili pointed out was a better snack than her or Raz.

“Ya think so?”

“It’ll buy us time at least. Now come on.”

Raz found himself blushing again as Lili grabbed him by the hand and started dragging him along, though he was quick to recompose and dash alongside her. The two kids exchanged glances as they came to the end of the hall. “Hell of a way to spend our first date, huh?”

“Couldn’t think of anything better.”

“Oh, shut up.” Now it was Lili’s turn to blush, a hand twirling one of her dual pigtails before she snapped out of it and looked at their newest blockade.

In the waking world, it would have been just a simple oaken door, but by now both kids had been through enough minds to know the more normal something seemed, the stranger what awaited them was.

“Hmmm…a different grain than the rest…” Lili said after running her hand over it before then pointing to the ruby red handle, a departure from the gold and silver doors they had been working through.

“What do ya think Lili? Living fossils on a rampage? UFO exhibits looking to beam us up?” The sheer excitement was enough to replenish Raz’s mental energy, gearing him up to Psi-Blast anything that threatened them.

Lili, in contrast, simply dug through Raz’s pockets, taking the ruby key they had swiped from the entry desk at the start of this mental dungeon. “At this point, I’d settle for whatever weapon plans this creep’s been hiding.”

“Oh, yeah, good idea.” Despite his exuberance, Raz was well aware of the danger this brain’s owner potentially held. Rumors had been circulating through various Psychonaut spies in the underworld, each one wildly different but all pointing to the mind of one Sal Jeront: Struggling Artist by day, Museum Janitor by night. If there was anything dangerous lurking in the man’s head, it was imperative it be retrieved, examined and either altered or destroyed before darker forces could grab it. “But it’s never as easy as that.”

As Lili opened the door, the duo got a look at just how right Raz was. The marble walls and echoing steps of the museum were replaced with more ergonomic paneling and beige carpets, with the closest comparison Raz could think of what the office facsimile from when he and his companions were trying to trick secrets out of Dr.Loboto. From their position on the high balcony, they saw to their dismay it was just as crowded but with far more tangible threats: hordes of lanky, blue-skinned figures trussed up in disinfected smocks and aprons wandered the space, sliding along via scrubbing brushes tied to their feet, which left marshes of suds for their partners to clean up behind them, while their four arms were all blurs dusting, wiping and otherwise sanitizing the countertops, sinks, tables and chairs that were orderly set about the space.

“OCDs” Lili growled.

“No kidding,” Raz whispered back, “Look at em go.”

“No Raz, they’re OCDs: mental constructs obsessed with cleaning and tidying the brain. Essentially Censors but with way less of a filter.”

“You could almost say they’re built for ‘brainwashing.’”

Both Raz and Lili’s cheeks puffed, holding in their laughter at former’s joke, with Lili being the first to calm down. “Well, those things are easy to deal with: Just get a mess going and they’ll be too distracted to notice.” She could make out a polished set of low-security doors at the far end of the mob with more OCDs coming and going, no doubt negating the need for higher security precautions. Whatever was inside this mind, those doors were their ticket in.

A dark spark came to Lili’s eye as she readied her pyrokinetic abilities, all she would need was a single fireball in the center table and the scrubbers would frenzy like sharks. Her efforts were stopped when her boyfriend grabbed her by the shoulder, pointing to both corners of the atrium where massive alarm boxes hung.

“Unwanted Thought Alarms. I’ve seen them in action in True Psychic Tales #219.” Raz pulled down his red goggles as he examined them further. “We start a brawl, we’ll be mobbed by every Censor and creep in the place. And no, we won’t be able to fight our way out, check it.”

Lili took the offered goggles, holding them up like binoculars at the Thought Alarms, taken aback to see an X-Ray scan of the devices revealing small finely cut stones exhibiting an aura recognizable even against the red hue of the goggles. “Psylirium deposits.”

Raz nodded as he took the goggles back. “Yeah, I doubt it would cause as much trouble as the stuff had in the Rhombus of Ruin, but I don’t think using our mental powers would be too smart.”

At the memory of the delirious hallucinations she had experienced in that cursed rhombus, Lili growled. “But how’s that possible? How could someone just take Psyliruium and inject it into someone’s brain like that?”

“If the past week has taught me anything, it’s that if someone wants to hide something bad enough, they find a way.”

With any doubt of the importance of the mission squashed, the duo returned their attention to the revolving horde of OCDs standing between them and the door. Before they could ponder the obvious question, one of the creatures slipped away from the pack, dusting the rails as they climbed the stairs to Raz and Lili’s perch. The duo were quick to alter their positions, hiding behind the smattering of potted plastic plants and watching as the OCD soap-skated her way to the cabinets beside them.

“Stupid Bad Ideas…” Torn yellow rubber gloves stuck themselves into the metal lockers, retracting with four shining new ones, which the OCD sprayed and scrubbed before putting them on. “…leaving their bulb shards in the cupboards. The trash cans are labeled for a reason. How’s an OCD supposed to clean when those idiots…” The self-winging continued as the blue cleaner slipped her way back down, too engrossed in her glove scrubbing to close the locker back up.





“If this doesn’t work,” Raz said through his face mask, “I want the Psychonauts to put on my tombstone: This was all my idea.”

“I’m sure we’ll both haunt The MotherLobe otherwise.” Lili’s own face mask covered the less jovial tone she had compared to her boyfriend. Even without reading his mind, Lili could tell he thought this was doomed as well. Even though they had been lucky enough to find fitting pieces for their OCD costumes, there was no way even these things were dumb enough to fall for it. At best, Lili hoped they could make it to the double doors before they got found and the alarms were raised.

Trepidation or no, Lili and Raz made their way down to ground level, the mass of whirling arms and mountainous suds only a few paces away.

“Alright Raz, just walk straight through.”

“If we get separated, just keep walking to the door. Don’t draw attention to yourself…”

“What do you two think you’re doing?” Raz and Lili whirled to an OCD standing behind them, lower hands on her hips while the upper were crossed. Though she wouldn’t have intimidated any adult they knew, she was still a head high enough to appear menacing to them. “This place isn’t gonna get clean if you two just stand there. At least get a lather going with your brush shoes.”

Razputin was quick to hold Lili’s hand to cover her fist. “We know mam, we were just...waiting for an opening. Weren’t we?”

Remembering her position, Lili was quick to play along. “Yeah, don’t want to risk any of their dust dirtying our aprons.”

The OCD squinted between the two before pulling back. “Guess that makes sense.” A lower pair of arms pushed Raz and Lili’s hands apart before spraying and wiping their gloves. “Been hearing rumors that some heavy dirt’s been flying through the place. Can’t be too…hey…you two look a little off.”

“We-we’re junior grade OCDs, haven’t grown into our arms yet.” Always eager to clean though.”

If it weren’t for the Psylirium, Lili would have gladly projected how much she wanted to smack her forehead, then Raz’s. The OCD however was much more pleased, her stark white teeth on display as she smiled.

“That’s wonderful, always a pleasure to see fresh faces. You two take it easy, and let no grime go unscrubbed.” The OCD clicked her heels, kicking up bubbles as she readied her mop and broom. “By the way, great masks.”

“Oh, they were my girlfriend’s idea.” Raz waved to the ‘friendly’ figure as she melted into the pack, all of whom were still scrubbing away, unaware of the conversation. “Well, least we know these work.”

“Yeah, now all we have to worry about is dying by embarrassment.”

In fact, it seemed all the two had to worry about was the overabundance of lemon-scented air as they made their way through the crowd. The blue over-glorified maids were too busy scanning every table leg and inch of linoleum their brushes and rags touched than the two disguised humans occasionally spraying in the air as they dragged their dry brush-shoes along the floor. When this was over, Lili decided, she knew she would have to give Raz a kiss for his brilliant idea. She had to admit as well, there was something oddly soothing about the fabric. Normally she didn’t care for rubber gloves or any of this cleaning stuff, but it seemed full-time cleaners like these required absolute comfort. Even the red bandana didn’t pinch her hair or feel anywhere near too tight. One look at Raz and Lili knew he was thinking the same, helped that it made a cute change over his usual attire.

For what seemed like minutes, the two humans flittered through the sanitizing mob, hopping over prone OCDs buffing the floors and coiling about the chairs and cupboards, forcing themselves to walk in line with the flow of bodies so as to cause as little ruckus as possible.

They were just about halfway through the lounge when a crash from far behind made every head turn. High on the balcony where the humans had started, a trio of OCDs with bulging eyes and twitching lower arms pulled out whistles and blew a shrill morse coded that turned the already buzzing hive into a frothing madhouse. Both humans were dragged from their daydreams and held themselves ready to fight, only to see the OCDs had no interest in them, save for one who was no doubt the OCD that had spoken earlier.

“There you two are! Gotta say, you juniors chose a hell of a time to come in, the Censors and Doubts got in a fight again and the mess is all over the exhibits!”

“Oh wow.” Lili said, trying to sound surprised, “That sounds messy.”

“No kidding. If ever you two were gonna earn your arms, it’d be today. Razputin, you’ll go with Team 5 as they scrub down the entry hall. Lili, you’ll be with me while we cover the backrooms. When Doubts get antsy, Regrets start squeezing into every vent they can and leave their baggage all over.”

Before either could protest, the friendly OCD grabbed Lili with a double-gloved hand and dragged her towards the security door. Lili thought hard, forgetting the Psylirium and trying to mentally tell Raz not to worry even as he vanished into the sponge and wipe-laden crowd.

Leaving the lounge behind, Lili’s first thought was to start a bonfire to get the OCDs off her back, but the sight of more of those Unwanted Thought Alarms quieted that down. She couldn’t feel the telltale prickling of Psylirium even back in the lounge, but if Raz said it was a bad idea than it was a bad idea. So all Lili could do until further notice was struggle to keep up with her handler, the sudsy trail from the brush shoes threatening to trip her up.

Said OCD eyed back at her ward. “Let me help you out there.” Lili’s balance was once more tested as her brushshoes were blasted with spray. The bristles bent as spray mixed with the slick soap already present, working up a lather and sending the girl skating over the tile floors. Being used to gravity and physics changes however, it didn’t take long for Lili to adjust, and she found herself now skating side by side with her blue-skinned teacher.

“Not bad.” The OCD patted Lili’s shoulder with wet sponge. “But see if you can follow this.” The cleaner leapt to the wall, continuing to slide across with no loss of momentum. Even with the difference in paneling fabric, the OCD left the walls shining and sparkling like fresh linoleum, her lower arms leaving behind posters with slogans such as ‘An unclean mind is a useless mind’ and ‘Scrub away all Doubts’. If only to appear in character, Lili did likewise on the opposite wall, pulling off a perfect landing amid swirl of bubbles, earning a few claps from the other OCDs polishing the light fixtures.

“You sure you and your boyfriend are newbies?”

Lili did her best to drown the admiration out. She had to remember these were her enemies, and she had a job to do. She just had to keep at it until she found whatever dangers this mind held, or at least till she could find a way to get rid of the Psylirium-infested alarms. She could only hope Raz was having an easy time losing his own crew.

At the thought of her boyfriend, Lili remembered something.

“Hey, how did you know our names?”

By now, her OCD instructor was on the ceiling, running a mop along a corners. “Pretty easy when you got them embroidered on your aprons.”

Lili didn’t know why she looked down to check. It could just as easily been a ‘made you look’ prank, she had been the instigator of plenty. But there it was, a bold ‘Lili’ in the lower corner by the pockets.

Coincidence, she thought, the mother of all coincidences.







Razputin should have been mad, he knew that. Here he was back at square one, and even worse, doing menial chores rather than anything exciting.

However, Raz found ways to keep himself happy. He glanced over the mob of OCDs littering the entry hall, trying to find humor in them; how they scrubbed and sprayed every inch of every surface with cornucopias of scents, brushing away the oils on various portraits (which then reappeared only to be cleaned off again) and dusting off what fossils stood guard by the entrance.

What was more, he was away from the alarm boxes with their chunks of Psylirium, which meant his psychic abilities were in full swing. While the physical body swept the same rug over the over, Raz’s mind was at work. The OCDs working the front desk were infuriated to find the cup of pencils continually fell over and dumped its contents all over the floor, often causing them to trip and break open their bottles of sanitizer. Another OCD, beating a neighboring rug, screamed in fright as the felt caught fire and threatened to spread onto them were it not for a trio unleashing their water buckets, a splashzone which Raz kept well clear of.

Rax snickered under his mask at the chaos, only regretting Lili wasn’t here to join in. But Raz knew better than underestimate the Zonato girl’s prowess, positive that she was handling herself just fine.

As Raz’s continued his tricks, more and more OCDs filed into the hall, scrubbing and bellyaching about the dirt and clatter amongst themselves. It was then Raz figured out how to get clear of the cluster and back to Lili.

In the center of the entry hall was a towering dinosaur skeleton. Being more intrigued with psychics than terrible lizards, Raz didn’t know the name, but what mattered was that the multi-foot beast would cause a king-sized mess if it should fall, especially if the soulless yellow eyes peeking from the shadows of the mouth were what Raz thought they were. Raz put all of his focus into his pyrokinesis skills, basic as they were compared to Lili’s, and pointed it to the mouth. His hunch was proven right as the stench of burning Doubts stung his nose and set the nearby OCD’s into a panic. Blue bodies rushed and climbed onto the boney mass, brushes and mobs unsheathed and glistening with soap.

It was too late. As if a cork had been slammed into the fanged mouth, a blowback of tarry flames shot down the dead lizard’s spine, igniting the stand and shattering the bones with such an explosion that everything from the portraits to the door signs to the front desk glass divider cracked or otherwise crumbled to the ground as well. Even better, this explosion had cut a hole into the roof, too high for Raz to levitate to, but a new wave of Doubts, Regrets and Censors had no trouble leaping in and scattering like rats. Almost at an instant, the entry hall was alit with the pugilistic mixing of oil and water.

Razputin could hardly contain his laughter as he leapt over two Censors slamming their stamps onto a single mop.

“Man, Lili’s gonna be so jealous. Or proud. Probably both!”





Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…

It didn’t seem to matter how hard Lilli scrubbed. The bristles of her brush were whittling down, but still the floor didn’t look right, still carried a dark tint of dirt ruining its otherwise shining complexion. All around her the OCDs were down on their knees spraying, mopping, brushing, but nothing seemed to be working. The annoyance of it had to be what that itching in the back of her head was, and it only made her scrub harder.

After replacing her rubber gloves from a single brow wipe, Lili grit her teeth and growled at her reflection in the storeroom floor. The film of grime seemed to be infecting it as well, giving her a paler, almost spotted complexion to her skin and hair. “I just don’t get it! What’s wrong with this stupid floor!?”

“There’s a million-dollar question.” Lili’s OCD mentor grunted under her own efforts, “It’s just back and forth, but it doesn’t wash out. Back and forth, back and forth-“

Back and forth, back and forth.

The brushstrokes of all the OCDs were in unison, even those mopping or scrubbing with sponges and rags couldn’t resist moving in time with the beat. Neither could Lili, as she moved her brush back and forth, back and forth, kicking up suds into her face, which continued to wash away whatever grim had collected during the rest of her duties.

But the floor wasn’t getting any brighter.

Lili snorted as she soap-skated to a nearby water bucket and dunked her brush in. Her reflection here at least was clearer, and she was seeing a far more sanitized light blue hue to her skin, like all the other OCDs, such clarity here just meant the floor had such a way to go. She gripped the bucket’s rim, rivulets of steam hissing even through her gloves. The itching in her head was getting worse, but what could have been causing it? All Lili could think about was her need to clean the floor, all she could hear was the brushes fruitlessly going back and forth, back and forth, and all she could see was the reflection of an OCD who couldn’t do her job, set in a bucket of boiling soapy water.

Without thinking, Lili threw the bucket down to the floor, causing the contents to splash all over the storeroom. The other OCDs did nothing to stop it, nothing wrong with more water and soap after all, and no one said anything until Lili’s mentor paused. All around, the water was still broiling, still bubbling and swirling with steam as the OCDs scrubbed furiously away.

“Lili, what was that?”

Her flash of temper drowned, Lili ran a disinfected comb through her dark blue curls while her changing mind tried to piece things together. “Just a little scalding water, nothing wrong with that, is there?”

“Got that right! Check it!” Lili turned to the random OCD in the crowd, amazed as her companions. Even through the inch of water, they could see that last layer of grime finally lifting away. “Good thinking Lili!” Similar praise was offered by the other OCDs between their own renewed cleaning efforts, making Lili’s blue cheeks blush to a plum purple.

“Hey, we OCDs gotta keep the mind clean. Don’t we?”

More buckets of water were slid Lili’s way, all ready for her special scalding treatment which she applied without question or effort. There was a moment or two where her reflection seemed a little off; her hair dirt brown and her skin anything but a pristine shade of blue, but that all vanished when the water started boiling, and Lili would slide the buckets back to their owners while her lower pair of arms mopped her own corner of the room.

Wait...I did have these arms before...right?

Back and forth, back and forth.

Now around and around. The mop in Lili’s ‘newer’ hands just kept swirling about, suds following it’s grand pull.

Something wasn’t right.

Round and round

Once again, Lili saw her reflection, her real reflection in the water, but the mop was cutting through it, splashing water about and keeping Lili from getting a good look at it. She tried to pull away, but her brush shoes didn’t seem to obey, all Lili could do was stare into the swirling mass, watching the mop and bubbles go around and around and around and around.

Someone placed another mop in Lili’s upper arms. She paid no notice, though started going at the rest of the floor around her.

What else was an OCD to do but mop? To keep the mind clean and to watch those beautiful suds spin around and around as brushes went back and forth,

Back and forth...

...round and round...

...back and forth...





Once more, Raz found himself kneeling at the balcony above the ‘employee lounge.’ It wasn’t out of stealth this time, and good thing, because even the OCD mob from before would have heard his ragged breathing.

His escape from the entry hall hadn’t been as smooth as he had hoped; the OCD disguise had caught embers and burned away thanks to his ‘master plan’, something Raz hadn’t been aware of until he had bounced into a smattering of the blue nuisances, along with an emboldened troupe of Doubts, Bad Ideas and a particularly nasty Panic Attack. Back in ‘civilian’ attire, Raz had no cover and no option but to fight his way through. To make matters worse, the creeps had relocked the other doors around the mind, leaving Raz to find and swipe a new set of keys, which naturally caused the Junior Psychonaut to run afoul of even more OCDs and hordes of other mental beasts. Fighting all its own wasn’t an issue for a lad trained by Ford Cruller himself, but the endless waves had taken their toll and now Raz truly was back to square one; with the Psylirium-tainted alarms that would only make fighting through whatever was left, both in foes and power, an impossibility. Disguise wasn’t even an option, as the balcony lockers were all gaping open and empty.

The thought occurred to Raz to break out the Smelling Salts and refresh himself, but he swatted that down fast.

“Come on Agent Aquato,” Raz whispered to himself, “Lili’s still somewhere behind those far doors. She wouldn’t just back out without you knowing, would she? Course not. Doh, I told Agent Foresythe we needed to have those earpieces. Stupid budget cuts making things difficult.

“Dude, relax, this is Lili you’re talking about. I’m sure she found a way to deal with all those creeps out there. Probably broke the alarm boxes down and boiled the Psyliruim in those OCDs chemicals, or just busted the whole joint up! Yeah! Lili’s softened them up. I mean, she’ll probably tease me about it, but I ain’t scared of no goons!”

Emboldened by his own hubris, Raz jumped to the railing and slid down to the floor, ready to take whatever this brain had left to throw at him.

He hardly had time to steady himself before his legs were cut out from under him by a wet mop, judging the drizzle of lemon-scented water, causing Raz to land on his stomach. Despite the Psylirium tickling his mind and setting his powers to ‘Off’, Raz balled his fists and readied for a fight. Raz spun to his back and froze before sighing with relief.

“Geez Louise Lili, now is not the time.”

“You got that right, Raz, what are you even doing here?”

“What do you mean?” Raz asked as he picked himself up, “We’re here because-”

At first, Raz thought Lili had simply improved on her disguise, and quite well so. Her skin and hair were both dyed in far bluer shades than before, and while the later didn’t share the same curls as the average OCD, it did fit snugly under her red head rag. Her clothes too had taken on such hues, her apron even carrying a seafoam green diamond trim like on her usual wear. However, it was when Raz saw the extra set of arms on Lili and how effortlessly she moved them that the sweat started to bead under his cap, both of which Lili was quick to spray and scrub.

“-Raz, I really don’t want to hear another one of your ‘Psyco-whatsit’ proverbs.” Lili’s upper arms stuffed their mop away and snatched Raz’s goggles, her lower arms wiping the lenses. “We talked about you coming to see me while the girls are active. If the other OCDs catch me flirting with you, they’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

“Uhhh...’other’ OCDs?”

“Yeah, whatever’s left at the moment. Someone’s been thrashing the girls back in the exhibits.” The OCD Lili gave Raz a raised brow as she set his goggles back in, followed by tossing her yellow gloves away and replacing them. “But I’m sure there's nothing that strong on its own, probably just a horde of Censors and Doubts that can’t get along.”

Raz opened his mouth to speak, though unsure just what to say, when Lili slapped a face mask over him while she straightened his shirt. “And keep this on. Just because you’re my boyfriend doesn’t mean you have to touch me with your dusty speaking air.”

“...sorry...”

“Well, I forgive you. You’re lucky you’re just that cute. Even you are a walking dust speck.” Lili skated over to a quartet of sinks, letting them sing for the buckets she was now holding. “With the entryway blocked for renovations, it’ll be more trouble to send you out now than just waiting till things quiet down. Now, I got picked to scrub down the archives, so we shouldn’t have to worry about too many OCDs seeing you.” With her buckets filled, Lili then slid for the door, evidently waiting for Raz before opening it. “If the girls ask, you surrendered and are patiently waiting for me to finish my current task before I scrub you out of existence.”

Realizing that he was being waited on, Raz’s brain jumpstarted back up and he rushed to his changed girlfriend, chuckling all the while. “Yeah, like you’d do that to me.”

“Just keep up, or the others will.” Without another word, Lili sped off down the hallway, leaving a trail of turquoise foam and bubbles in her wake.

A look through his now sparkling clean goggles revealed at least that the alarm boxes in these halls weren’t loaded with Psylirium, which meant his powers were once again an option. At that moment however, as Raz formed a levitation bubble in hopes of keeping up, only one thought gloomed his head.

“I gotta find a way to fix this or Truman Zonatto’s gonna kill me.”

Though, as Raz would find, the race against this OCD-ified Lili was just as likely to do him in. Even barring the various mental obstructions and figures Lili’s trail led through, the backrooms of this mental museum were more akin to the obstacle courses of Coach Oleander mixed with the diorama obsession of Gristol Malik; with ‘simulations’ of wartime bombings, oceanic predators swimming in packs looking for lunch, and various human warriors facing off in hand-to-tool combat. The worst of the experience though had to be the scene of the inner workings of a car. Lili had decided to ‘throw Raz a bone’ by slowing down and letting him catch her, but the impish giggling had hinted otherwise as the duo squeezed between impeccably shining gears. There were also several occasions in which Raz had to keep himself afloat via stray thought bubbles while OCD Lili, with rag and spray in hand, teased that such messy thoughts should be scrubbed up, waiting just until Raz had floated to the next before following through with her threat.

Despite all the odds, Raz survived, though he flopped to the floor as he closed and locked the archive door behind him. “A lucky huff break. If Jeront gasp has anything to hide, it’ll be here.”

While Raz was winded, Lili showed no such issues as she set about washing the obelisks cosplaying as filing cabinets. “Ha, good luck trying to hide anything from the best OCD in the whole mind.” Bucket after bucket of her scalding solution was poured over the metal, turning it near crystalline in its shining brilliance. “Just look at that Raz, not a germ or speck of dirt anywhere. Never get something that clean outside in all the filth you humans wallow through.”

As Raz continued to cobble his breath together, he watched as Lili went about her work with fascinated horror. To his knowledge, True Psychic Tales had never mentioned such a form of mental assimilation happening to Psychonauts, or anyone for that matter, and there was no question the magazine would have to pick up his story with such a concept, if only to crowdsource a cure from any other psychics reading that month’s issue. And OCD or not, this was still Lili, and Raz’s heart couldn’t help but flutter at seeing his girlfriend so effortlessly cleaning and moving about the sparkling columns of locked manilla. This was indeed Lili, however, and Raz was still disturbed to see such a state as she was in.

Once more, the thought of the smelling salts came in, but was even more violently shut down. There was no accounting for what would happen if Lili was dragged out of the mindscape in this form. Maybe she’d be brought back to normal, or maybe her psyche would be twisted up for the rest of time.

Raz wouldn’t risk it. The best, he figured, was to find what he was looking for and work his way from there.

Unaware of her boyfriend’s musing, Lili called out from atop another stationary tower. “Hey Raz, if you’ve calmed down, how about helping an OCD out?” She kept her eyes to the grains of rust she was disintegrating, unaware the sponge she threw had whacked Raz in the face. Her cheeks blushed a soft plum as she readied herself for what she had to say. She just made sure to keep her brush moving back and forth, scrubbing back and forth, keeping her train of thought from fraying.

“Ya know Raz…I’ve been doin’ some thinking and…I’m really starting to get annoyed at our arrangement.”

“That makes two of us.” Raz answered, his voice barely disguising his interest for a small safe hidden among the monoliths.

“Yeah, thought so. I mean, I love that you found a way for us to see each other, but all the trouble we have to go through…it’s just a mess. And you know we OCDs hate messes.”

“Totally, can’t think of anyone who doesn’t.”

“But…I’ve been thinking….it’s not your fault the other OCDs look down on you. It’s just all that dirt from the outside world you carry in and breathe and spread.” OCD Lili shivered at the thought, unaware Raz was doing just that as he tugged and strained to open the small safe. “And if there’s one thing we OCDs know, it’s that anything can be cleaned with enough effort. And I’m thinking…maybe the girls wouldn’t mind you so much if I clean you up, turned you into one of us.”

Perhaps the shock was an overreaction, but it hardly mattered. Raz’s psychic hands lost their grip on the safe, the metal box hurtling towards one of the immense filing cabinets. There was nothing he could do to stop what followed, Lili herself noticing just in time to leap away. Spaced and orderly placed as they were, the cabinets toppled over and onto each other, oversized dominos crashing in a shower of metal shaving and papers as their drawers were slammed open and shattered on the ground. Lili could only watch the mess unfold, frozen in fear while Raz slipped the singular file from the safe into his bag.

It was over in seconds. What was once an orderly room was now akin to an archeology dig, with fallen black columns strewn about and shattered amid the debris of scattered papers.

Some part of Raz hoped the devastation would be enough to break the spell Lili was under, but he saw no return to her normal color or clothes. The OCD had her back to him, all four hands clenched and an aura of heated warping surrounding her.

Fearing the worst, Raz tried to placate this corruption of his girlfriend. “Lili, I-I am so sorry.”

“No Raz. It’s not your fault. Like I said, you can’t help all that dirt and grime messing up your head.” Despite the calm tone, Lili’s eyes were alight as she turned to face the human. Her hands slipped into her apron, pulling out two steel wool brushes and a drenched mop. “And as both an OCD and your girlfriend, I think it’s time someone gave you a serious brainwashing!”

Raz held his hands up to distract from his climbing aboard his levitation ball. “Wait, Lili, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Neither do I, Raz.” Brush shoes clicked together, slicking the floor and coating the litter with steaming suds. “So just hold still!” Lili’s entire body turned into a blur as she spun towards Raz, picking up more debris and dissolving it in her lemony fresh wake. Raz’s projection bounced him away and atop one of the leaning cabinets, but the sterilizing swirl was quick to follow his trail. A trio of Psi-Blasts were shot, none of them in Lili’s direction, but rather to break open more of the black drawer and release their contents. The OCD found herself unable to resist, her mop digging into the growing pile. She kept her sights on Raz however as he climbed higher out of reach.

Lili tried to sneer, but all she could give was an impressed smile. “See what I mean Raz? If this is what you could do as a Psycho-loser, then you’d be unstoppable as one of us!” Despite her praise, Lili’s other arms dug into her apron, pulling out a series of spray bottles and firing at the human with the rapidity of machine gun. Even with the distance his new position made, Raz only had precious seconds to dodge the assault, but his mind was too busy trying to convince himself this was all some twisted nightmare to focus. Lime and lavender socked him in the face and chest, nothing grievous but busting his balance all the same, and causing him to tumble from his mile-high sanctuary.

A single sponge with a target painted in hand sanitizers slid across the floor, growing to thrice it’s normal size as it absorbed more papers and shards and stopping at Raz’s point of impact. He had no time to slow his fall and instead landed square on the pillow-like mass, causing more cleaning fluid to squirt out and soak him in a nasal miasma of simulated pine and ocean waves. Raz’s scrabbling to rise up only things worse, as a giant soap bubble rose from the yellow cushion and entrap him. Fearing a Psi-Blast would bounce off and strike him instead, Raz took to pounding on the surface and saw with horror his hands. Whether during the current or previous fights, Raz’s uniform had been ventilated, and he watched as a familiar blue hue slithered its way up his arms.

The OCD-ified Lili wrung her upper hands with sinister glee while her lower hands clapped with pure glee as she walked up. “There’s no point in fighting it Raz; you and I both know you’re more useful as an OCD. Just think of it, we’ll be together, won’t have to worry about the girls threatening to ‘rub you out’, and we’ll keep this brain clean and minty fresh. Doesn’t that sound just the best?” Lili put her hands up to Raz’s prison and the enamored look she gave him threatened to make him forget the situation. With every breath, every step, every single movement, Raz could feel a strange numbing sensation working through his body and mind, the mere mention of cleaning sparking more joy than it had any right too. A shrinking part of Raz’s mind told him he had to break out, had to free Lili, lest they both be stuck as literal neat freaks. “Just relax Raz, let all that dirt wash away from your brain.”

This time, it was Lili who provided Raz with an out, her gloved hands poking through the bubble to better grab those of her boyfriend. With such an anchor as her, the surface tension meant nothing as Raz pulled himself out and back into relatively safe air. Lili was hardly surprised, flipping off Raz’s helmet and running a comb laden with disinfectant through his hair as he slid by her.

As Raz felt his head in shock, Lili massaged her head rag. “Trust me, you’ll look so much cooler in one of these.”

Raz’s vision was beginning to swim, taking on the same hue as the rest of his body as a growing urge to rest and let the transformation happen invaded his mind. Through the mire however, he could still see Lili taking her brushes and mops back out and priming herself for one last charge. Memories to when Raz fought the raging bull ‘El Odio’ came to mind and he realized this might be his last chance to stop this. He balled both his natural hands and his psychic fists, trying to ignore the dual tickling sensations lower down his sides. He tried to imagine himself back in that mental stadium, a feat not difficult as Lili’s body, warping against Raz’s vision, reminded him well enough of Edger’s confused persona. She charged amid a sea of foam, and Raz steadied himself.

______________________________________________________________


Ending 1: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61234068/
Ending 2: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61234130/

If you want to know what becomes of that final strike, click one of the other two submissions with this thumbnail on it. Flip a coin before doing so for extra fun.