CW: transphobia, vent

I hated my birthdays. I hated them because I always had sense of dread when my month was coming up.

For the longest time it was because I felt alienated in parental household. Because I was uncomfortable with them drinking on my day. Because I wanted to hide away, had no friends to spend birthdays with except online.

Then I found my family and moved out. I was finally able to spend birthdays in a safe environment, that respects and loves me. They gave me everything I could ask for. We, a group of queers, finally started to plan things, we finally saw the light, our future became more certain. We planned to buy a house, we were financially able to plan out how to get an hrt and surgery for everyone, we really were excited to li--

It was all gone. Russia started war in Ukraine. It got only worse since.

On my birthday month, May 2023, Russian State Duma was preparing another law that would force us to change our lives. It was the transgenocide law. I guess someone thought that it would be funny to hold trans people in fear and dread all the pride month and first half of July. It didn't get better since.