If you are open to suggestions, have you tried some dating subreddits? In my experience a little more promising than dating apps, and it at least feels less frustrating, as you can just passively breeze through, occasionally refreshing an ad, rather than actively swiping or matching and then being ignored.

thanks! yes i'm open to suggestions. i do check about 4 dating subreddits semi-regularly and they are a lot better XD sadly there are none for my country and people nearby appear very rarely (great idea for people in north america and europe though)

Yeah, things are rough for Queer furries if you aren't from a place with a lot of Queer furries and you're looking for someone who's comfortable with your interests, orientation, and kinks. Doubly so as an NSFW artist whose position might not be tenable for people who want a very traditional, monogamous relationship.
Given your interests you might be able to find BDSM-centric meet-and-greets, which don't necessarily have to be orgies or sexual experiences. Oftentimes it's just meeting people of a similar mindset, and those people generally tend to be more open to non-heteronormative people and their various kinks.

thanks for the advice! i actually care very little about bdsm and sexual stuff irl :p, my goals look pretty vanilla and monogamous XD the most important part for me is finding someone who is creative, smart and of similar values (while being okay and supportive of what we do etc) which has been surprisingly difficult o.o but i can't complain much because i'm still just in my mid 20s

There's plenty of people like that!

..if you're willing to live an ocean apart from them!

you might be onto something

https://youtu.be/pbQRdYOapT0?si=AnzhR555nuhJB2DJ

(WHSPRS - falling for americans)

i feel like this song is very on point, except for you it'd be europe i think

Is there a furry dating subreddit? I could never find it

i run Barq, it's free with an optional support subscription. doesn't actively push you to specific people for any reason or another. just lets you set up a profile and let each other know you're in the same city and can meet up, chat on app or in telegram, direct people to other contacts and maybe hook up if that's your thing. it's furry focused. wish more people used it.

thank you for your service! what an honor. i love barq, been using it since last year and often tell people about it. sadly only 1 person passes my filters in my country but i believe it will grow more over time =·)

no no sorry i think that i said something misunderstandable. i do not own or manage barq, i run it as my main meetup app (as in it's the primary one i use) sorry i did not mean to claim something quite like that haha.

Dating apps, regardless of what technology they're based on, are limited by the fundamental flaw that pursuing a relationship from the starting point of "pursuing a relationship" is simply the wrong approach. It's much better to pursue social opportunities with people who have related interests, and let friendships and relationships grow naturally out of those encounters.

Yeah that sounds a lot better and would still be my prefered way to meet someone, but being on apps still raises the odds of finding someone even if not by much, my mom and her husband are happily married after finding eachother like that for example ^^ though i know it's rare

Just gotta balance it against the emotional damage of using those apps.

the other side of that coin is that it's freeing to know that everyone on the app is also looking for a relationship, so you don't have to worry as much about your expectations being out of sync!

As someone who has used them on and off since before the pandemic: they are much worse than they used to be. The number of search features and tools to make it easy to find people you're compatible with that have been replaced with "we're all tinder and you're swiping now whether you like it or not asshole" is depressing

so true! i've heard wonders about old okcupid before it got bought by the match group, it was working out for a lot more people than the present situation XD

OKcupid's search for people who answered to the question "Are you interested in a D/s relationship" with "yes, I'm a dominant" and "list people by match % in a certain geopgraphic area" were the fucking GOATs

OKC was what I had used to end up in my current relationship, 5 years strong now- did they really gut the app that bad / those features aren't around anymore? I do remember hearing they were getting bought out but that was after a successful use of their app, and I haven't used it since early 2020.

yeah. right before covid I used it and it was great. Then the relationship I was in from it ended halfway through the lockdown and when I went back it was a skinsuit of its former self being puppeted by a tinder algorithm. really sucks

Jesus that is incredibly disheartening to hear. Tinder is the most soulless "dating" app I have ever experienced and can only charitably be called a hookup app at best... other services being murdered and butchered to fit that mold is just terrible

I prefer to hang around places that have things I enjoy, like FA, some online games, etc for example, because it becomes easier to meet someone when you have things in common to talk about, without it becoming sort of awkward. I also prefer to learn who someone is by spending more time talking to them, rather then choosing them based on looks or a quick summary of their life like it is on dating apps.

My last relationship was with someone I met here on FA for example.

true in furaffinity/discord/games is where i've met the coolest people so far =· )
cool to hear of more cases of it being a source of relationships!

Think you hit the nail on the head. Dating sites are frustrating, because they're another example of where technology genuinely could help people, but harms them instead because the ownership is too greedy. If people matched up and went on to happy lives, they'd stop using the sites. Misery and loneliness is literally the business model.

I don't think there's anything there, or anywhere else though. Modern society is too broken. For myself, I think it's incredibly unlikely I'll ever find someone I can really trust, let alone to develop a deep, life-long relationship with, let alone one that involves sex. We are all imprisoned in our own little silos now, dulled by and addicted to the perfection of Amazon, Youtube, Google, always getting exactly what we want, how we want, when we want. We've lost the ability to make do, to tolerate, to meet in the middle. In my childhood, you'd go to the department or big box store, find something that was kinda sorta what you were after, shrug and say "well, I guess that will work." And you'd live with it. And it would be ok, most of the time. It wasn't hard to take that approach with people too.

But in the modern world you can get nearly anything you want, delivered to your door in a week or less. An hour or less in some cases. Except meaningful human connection. And no online service is ever going to deliver that.

The "right" answer is meeting people organically, through shared work, hobbies, interests etc. Ideally in physical space. But that doesn't work anymore, because everyone's trapped in their silos. Everyone is a sycophant of themselves, their own little world. Relationships are always compromises, they always involve giving up a little of yourself. But in the modern world, there's no way to connect to people anymore without just BECOMING them, compromising so much that you just throw yourself away entirely. And that's not a relationship, it's just slavery (and not the fun kind).

I hope this changes, but I don't see how. The future I see is one where AI improves to the point where it slithers into that role, where artificial companions become "good enough", and people just give up. We're already seeing the early stages with Vtubers and AI chatbots. In the end the robots won't kill us with cool death tanks and future lasers. Just our own narcissism and fear.

What people don't realize is that connecting isn't just about finding someone who's like you. There has to be a broader context for it to take place in, a shared culture, a set of assumptions you can rely on. And there isn't anymore. Even in a given country, a given city, there isn't one culture anymore, or two, or a dozen. Thanks to the internet, smartphones, the endless march of technology, there are a million, an infinite fractal spiraling forever. And I don't have the time or the energy to relearn the whole world from scratch every time I meet someone new.

I am willing to compromise, but not infinitely. I am willing to give of myself, but not infinitely. And that's the problem. Modern dating, modern relationships are just too expensive. Not in terms of money, but in terms of the soul.

I hope you prove me wrong.

Congrats on this picture, it really conveys how near and distant people are on these apps. The expression of distress is so real too, like if the person has spent too much time on the apps and is getting desperate. It shows how difficult it is to know someone with this method.

I'm using dating sites for maybe... at least ten years now. And I still never found love. They're only tools, I know. I have a lot of things blocking me, it starts with my anxiety for public transports. Nobody wants to live with an anchor and it's understandable. I also have hard times accepting myself with my odd hobbies when the likings of almost everyone are so out of touch with mines.

I wish everyone good luck to find their loved-ones, keep faith even if it's hard.

Damn, this is actually deep.

Very accurate portrayal.

Letting your wants known to a company that wants your money always ends up in this being a nightmare.

Used hinge for a while. Got matched with 3 people got ghosted by 2 people and the 3rd we both went separate ways.

But I agree whole heartedly.

I wish you the best. I lucked out when chilling on Ferzu (Which is, idk. Meh as a site at best). But really, its just about being out around things you like and being chill.

I'm in the same spot. Honestly I'm just going to give up, I think. I don't need a romantic partner to be happy.

I recommend Fetlife, it's a kinky facebook. Not as much for hookups as it is for finding folks that may share similar interests and might be within reach of you. Do give it a try, it's how my partner found me.

I've long held the theory that dating apps try their best to Prevent one from finding their best match. Since, upon finding one's ideal parnter, they'd stop using the app, and apps are all about maximizing engagement.
Further, dating app companies possess the metadata to see when certain types of people match and whether they make it together and stop using the app, or it doesn't work out and they keep using the app. Since it is their algorithim and they're able to alter it to best suit their interests, they have the means, the motive and opportunity to attempt to keep their users in a state of constant hope that the next match will be their soulmate, but actually being matched with relationships that are not intended to last. All while deflecting any blame onto the user themselves, to make them think that there is something wrong with them, when the problem lies with the app itself.
That's my rant and I'm sticking to it.

I think it's kinda close to the truth. If I just swipe on these apps for free, I'll only find people living about 50 kilometers away from my location for the most part.
If I pay to interact, the apps will magically show me people living closer.

¡genuinley provocative piece of art and painfully relateable, seriously, excelente!

I'm definitely not the one for dating advice, however; I want to put in a little bit of perspective. Take what I say with a grain of salt, and continue to pursue a relationship as you see fit.

When I try to forge relationships, I don't see them as....trying to 'get' someone if that makes sense? I like to try to form organic, platonic relationships. Platonic are more like building a friendship as you would in any situation. You get to know them, and you see over time whether you want to take things a step further, or if you want to simply remain as a 'brotherly or sisterly' kind of relationship; and it is open. Those types never end up closed.

I'm Polyamorous, and Pansexual, and I don't see relationships as necessarily something to chase. It is something that you have to work towards over time. You have to get to know the person both inside and out, what their ambitions are, how they are morally.

You are still in your 20s as you said, you have time! Don't feel overly pressured, and do not be too hard on yourself for failing to find the right partner. It is a lifelong ambition, and....I used to be religious but I'm an Agnostic, anti-theist athiest, but I do respect other's beliefs and their decisions to follow their life's pathways-in an open-minded, and optimistic way.

My former religion pushed youth 18 and over to get married right away. This made divorces so much higher. The marriages-some worked out but most ended up in divorces and the couples did not like each other at all.

It is like a delicate balance of pragmatism, mixed with creativity and exploration. One advice I was told by a friend "Live with them in an apartment for 6 months to 1 year" that there is the ultimate test of whether or not you end up like being with them.

Anyway Trig, anytime you want to message me or have a question feel free. Good luck to your life journey. I do hope you find someone, as long as you are pursuing. There is also nothing wrong with living the lone lifestyle too! Friends are just as significant as deeper relationships.

Keep those who stick by your side close! Hang in there.

Dating apps are better when they're free and don't put barriers between their uses. Something like Tagmap of all things genuinely seams better than most apps.

Oof, I feel you. Personally I've been wondering how to go about finding someone, but it's hard to even want to since I'm kinda shy and not very social, and then I worry about being too weird for lots of people in some ways but too normie in others.

Reminds me of the coldness of office spaces...