once again list is super unorganized

dusk: "Time to... oh wait, I'm not with me crew anymore."
battle cry: "Ye gonna walk the plank!"
hound: "The dogs here look different."
skeleton: "Why does it look like that?"
!burnt skeleton: "I almost pity ye."
axe: "Finally, I can get wood to build a boat and get out of here."
spider: "Urgh!"
razor: "I'm trying to remember why I made this."
campfire and fire pit: "A light in the vast darkness."
out campfire and fire pit: "It's joined the darkness."
science machine: "Is it installing knowledge whenever I go near?"
freezing: "Brrrr."
+overheating: "I'm drying out..."
+slightly wet: "A little water never hurt anybody."
+slightly more wet: "Meh."
+halfway full wetness meter: "Been a while since I got this much water."
+100% wetness meter: "Ahhh... refreshing!"
deerclops spawning: "Ah! Has that sea behemoth surfaced?"
deerclops itself: "Yer not the sea behemoth I heard!!"
crock pot: "I prefer to have others do it."
wet goop: "Yeah, that checks out."
bee: "I wonder why the punk hates those. They're not so bad."
killer bee: "I see now."
spear: "I prefer guns."
low hunger: "Any grub around here?"
grass suit: "I don't see how this protects me."
stalked in darkness: "What was that sound??"
attack in darkness: "Arghh!"
garland: "I admit it was a little fun to make this."
+rain hat: "What's so bad about the water?"
deerclops eyeball: "I guess ye were too big to deal with anything."
life-giving amulet: "It calms me."
nightmare amulet: "It doesn't calm me."
gold: "I've found treasure!"
tentacle: "That doesn't look very pleasant."
inspecting maxwell quotes
singleplayer: "Who are YE?"
multiplayer: "Urgh."
pig: "I don't remember any of ye finding that box thing."
beefalo: "Oh, yer a big guy."
merm: "Be ye the kin of the sea behemoth!?"
pan flute: "Yawn..."
chester: "Ye will help me carry things? Nice."
eye bone: "It stares at me."
mactusk: "Me gun's better than.. whatever yer thing is."
moose/goose: "What is that supposed to be?"
treeguard: "Is everything REALLY trying to kill me here??"
log suit: "It's armour made of logs."
dark sword: "Oh, a nightmare I can use to fight. That's actually kind of cool."
meaty stew: "Finally, some decent food."
hammer: "One of the tools to build a ship to get out of here."
endo fire: "Is today opposite day? It didn't say that last time I checked."
blue mushroom cap: "I feel trippy....."
healing salve: "In case sleeping it off doesn't work."
tent: "Even a captain needs her sleep."
backpack: "To carry more things."
burnt tent: "Oh. I don't need sleep then, I guess."
trap: "To catch small creatures."
nightmare fuel: "Liquid nightmares."
pretty parasol: "Those petals could have been used for a better cause."
weather pain: "Many will perish when this is in me hand."
meat effigy quotes
singleplayer: "Were the horn things needed?"
multiplayer: "That's a wooden statue of that guy Munch keeps talking about!"
hambat: "I feel like I could've used that meat for something else, but this is fine."
football helmet: "No thanks, I like water polo."
pig king: "Ye too, Boarus? Wait, yer not him. My bad."
!bernie: "He needs some stitches."
!active bernie: "What?"
!BERNIE!: "ARGH! What's wrong with yer teddy?"
!broken bernie: "He needs more than some stitches."
lightning rod: "Why would I need this? It's, like, a 1 in 1 million chance to get hit by lightning."
charged lightning rod: "See? The lightning hit this instead."
avoiding lightning damage: "...O-oh."
!big tentacle: "That's even less pleasant."
glommer: "Awww! It's just so adorable, I can't help it!"
!glass cutter: "Be very careful using this."
!all critters: "Someday, ye will grow up and become like the rest."
!boat kit: "Finally!"
!plank: "Yer gonna be walking this if any of ye make too many wrong moves!"
!leak: "Someone patch that up!"
!pile o' balloons: "It's balloons."
!balloon hat: "It feels like static."
!most of wickerbottom's books: "I don't have time to read these books."
end is nigh: "Munch keeps hissing when I show him this. No idea why."
rabbit: "That looks like a hare."
!ghostly elixirs: "I pity her."
!trusty tape: "It fixes everything...?"
slurper: "Argh! Be on yer way, or perish at the hands of the Captain!"
!dumbbell: "I've lifted bigger."
!gembell: "U-URGH! Not that big, though!"
!sugar cookie: "Mmm!"
!mushy cake: "I don't have room for that. I think."
rock lobster: "Agh!"
ice: "Frozen water."
splumonkey: "Thief!!"
night armor: "Nightmares that protect me."
+sneezing: "ah-ah-AAAPHEWWW!"
+hay fever active: "I-I thought I was immune..."
+hay fever over: "Hooray!"
guardian's horn: "Ohhh, Munch would HATE this."
houndius shootius: "Ye better do yer job. It's in yer name."
!grim galette: "Why would ye give it that face, Warly?"
eating stale food: "I don't think it's supposed to taste like raw carrots"
eating spoiled food: "Argh! That tastes worse!"
frog: "We once sailed to an island with a lot of these."
frog legs: "...I think that's a little messed up."
hound wave incoming: "The dogs be baying."
froggle bunwich: "...Why did I leave the bones in?"
flower: "It's a flower."
pengull: "They like the cold."
!growth formula starter: "What is this supposed to be?"
!fermenting growth formula: "Ahh. Takes me back."
!fermented growth formula: "Jeez, get a whiff of that."
!super growth formula: "Honestly, I kind of see why people are staying away from this stuff."
circuits: "Robot guts?"
gastrogain circuits: "Are they trying to be Munch?"
!chorusbox circuit: "The science and old guys seem to stay away from the robot when they have this in. How strange."
!inspecting gnaw: "Munch!?"
!knobbly tree: "Arrr... Years at sea, and I ain't seen any trees in the middle of it...."
!tree jam: "Plant grub."
!fig: "I've heard there's wasps in this... none for me."
!knobbly tree nut: "That would do more than give yer a headache if it fell on top of ye."
fishing rod: "I can pull tasty salmon out of the ocean with this."
fish: "Ye don't look like salmon! And ye pathetically small... how did I mess up this bad?"
!transforming into wonkey:
"Me shoes don't fit..."
"Where have me gloves gone?"
"I don't grow hair anywhere but me head... how strange."
"Ooh, I'm transforming into a monkey."
!accursed trinket: "What is this? It won't get away from me."
powder monkey: "Yer gonna walk the plank!" (same as wunch's but she doesn't mess it up)
butterfly: "What is that?"
butter: "Why did it drop this?"
waffles: "I like pancakes more."
mandrake item: "I thought it was a carrot."
planted mandrake: "It's a carrot... a rotten carrot?"
active mandrake: "SHUT UP."
!milky whites: "I don't remember eyes being made of this stuff. Disgusting."
smoldering item: "Arrr.. is that one emitting smoke?"
no quote for dropping items while wet bc she's immune to the effects of wetness . shes a shark whatd u expect
burnt: "Yargh!"
no set quote: "It's a thing."
failing adventure mode: "Argh! I'll get ye! I'LL GET YE!!!"
freedom: "I'm free!"
activating a bee mine: "I seem to be the victim of a trick."
leaving combat: "Boring."
leaving combat with a prey: "Fast one."
darkness: "It's gone dark!"
entering light from darkness: "It's gone light!"
full inv: "I've pocketed too much stuff to hold this."
eating painful food: "Oof..."
earthquake: "It's happening again!?"
trying to sleep on fire: "I think I need to put myself out before I can get some shut-eye."
+entering map border: "I've lost control!"
+exiting map border: "How strange."
+approaching border: "I can't see ahead, too foggy."
+boat losing %: "I'll need to repair it soon."
+boat leak: "Feels like repair is needed."
+sinking: "Is this how I fall?"
unable to learn blueprint: "What does this say?"
!carrying heavy object:
"Urgh..."
"Huff, huff..."
"The gembell was better than this..."
"My spine..."
!failing to revive abigail and other ghosts: "The heart didn't work..."
!klaus enraged: "Uh oh."
*ghost sanity drain: "Is this how I disappear from existence...?"
!trying to stick non-gem in cratered moonrock: "I can't."
!trees petrifying: "Argh! What was that screaming!?"
!failing to give item that isnt telltale heart to dead player: "My bad."
no quote for washing ashore bc she can swim
whirly fan breaking: "I guess it was feeling too spinny."
!trying to change while wardrobe is burning: "Ah! Ah! Me clothes!"
*deadly feast: "Finally, some... rotten stew?"
+limpets: "Ha! I remember getting violently sick after eating some of these for some reason!"
*all forms of long pig: "Does the phrase "meat is meat" still apply...?"
salt lick: "I'd turn into jerky if I licked that."
boss incoming: "A behemoth is coming!"
divining rod: "Is that the box thing that took me here!?"
milkmade hat: "Who would wear that?"
icker: "It's all slimy."
icker with caught item: "It's recently caught someone."
icker with trapped player: "It's caught someone."
?icker that previously caught her: "Me eyes still hurt."
werepig: "They do that now?"
shadow manipulator: "I hope I don't make something that I regret."
!player skeleton: "[player] must've got into something with [cause of death] and lost."
player skeleton that is her: "I almost pity... m-me?"
star caller staff: "Is calling a star a good idea?"
dwarf star: "The lizard seems to hate the sheer light from this."
living log: "...Is it screaming?"
thulecite club: "Quite heavy. Not that it bothers me."
!another player playing as killsha: "Holy smokes! Are ye me clone?"
!killsha player that died: "Ah! That's not a good sign."
closed worm hole: "Fur doesn't usually grow on the ground."
open worm hole: "Argh! What a rotten sight."
exiting worm hole: "Why did I do that??"
sick worm hole: "Eugh. I didn't know that furry thing could look worse than it already did."
maxwell statue: "What an douche."
nightmare throne: "Maybe I DO pity ye."
trying to sleep during day: "Only lazy people sleep when it's this bright."
trying to sleep when hunger is too low: "Me rumbles would keep me up."
trying to sleep near danger: "Who sleeps when danger is nearby?"
pricked: "Yargh!"
triggering trap: "I seem to be the victim of a cruel, cruel prank."
item on fire: "Argh! Get the water!"
lucy the axe: "He's a little strange."

quotes above the ^^^^^ and below the vvvv r for the status announcements mod

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
max health: "Not a scratch!"
max hunger: "I don't have room for more food..."
max sanity: "I'm fine."
high but not max hp: "It's just a little scratch."
high but not max hunger: "I don't need food."
high but not max sanity: "Still fine."
moderate health: "That hurts a little."
moderate hunger: "I could go for a snack."
moderate sanity: "I think I feel a little headache coming on..."
half health: "That was actually quite the beating."
half hunger: "Is there any food?"
half sanity: "The headache's getting worse..."
low health: "M-maybe I just need to sleep it off."
low hunger: "I'm hungry!"
low sanity: "Ugh, me head..."
very low health: "s-sleep isn't gonna fix this..."
very low hunger: "I'm starving..."
very low sanity: "What are those shadow things!?"
zero enlightment: "It's pretty blue around here."
low enlightment: "Me eyes be feeling weird."
half enlightment: "What the hell are those white things floating around?"
moderate enlightment: "Shut up, whatever is making those sounds."
high enlightment: "Wait, they're trying to talk..."
max enlightment: "The moon watches us..."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

!malbatross: "Argh! Yer not the sea behemoth, but yer just as much of a threat as it!"
!malbatross: "We have defeated the inferior sea behemoth!"
alchemy engine: "So... like the science machine but it lets ye prototype more?"
cut stone: "Square stones."
rocks: "What do I do with these..."
boulder: "A big rock."
charcoal: "The remains of something ravaged by fire."
+obsidian boulder: "If only I had ne cannonballs."
!meteor boulder: "Strange."
!moon rock: "I thought the moon was made of cheese."
!celestial champion stage 1: "Yargh! Ye will pay for destroying all that hard work!"
!cc stage 2: "Is that all ye got?"
!cc stage 3: "Huff... come on! I can take more!"
!dead cc: "And the so-called champion is defeated!"
+woodlegs' cage: "Who would do this to ye!? I'll get ye out, fellow pirate!"
spicy chili: "It's got a spicy kick."
!enlightening snare: "Coward... yawn!"
!grainy transmission: "Why are ye flickering like that?"
!telltale heart: "Argh."
rot: "Even pirates don't eat literal mold."
asparagus: "The only purple veggie I know is eggplants."
cooked asparagus: "It changes color in contact with fire. How strange."
dragonfruit: "I ate one of these once. I remember it tasting like nothing."
durian: "Jeez, get a whiff of that!"
extra smelly durian: "I feel light-headed..."
pepper: "I'd prefer if I had something to eat it with..."
roasted pepper: "Gah! Me throat..."
butterfly wings quotes
singleplayer: "Did I need to do that?"
multiplayer: "Did we need to do that?"
shadow maul: "Jeez, yer a yapper."
machete: "I can either cut tough things, or kill something in cold blood with this."
all gold tools: "That gold could've been used for better things..."
toadstool: "Yargh! Get back in the ground, ye wart-covered beast!"
bearger: "The creator was having fun with these giant animals."
dragonfly: "That's the strangest dragon I've seen yet."
hibearnation vest: "I feel like I'm gonna melttt..."
honey poultice: "Yer not supposed to put food on wounds, but okay."
lunar siphonator stage 1: "What is this supposed to be, anyways?"
ls stage 2: "I still don't get it."
ls stage 3: "HAHAHA!"
astroggles: "This is just ridiculous."
moongleam: "Yargh! Why do I feel me bones!?"
chef pouch: "He wouldn't mind if I took this, right?"
ice cube during any season that isnt summer: "It's always nice to stay cool."
ice cube during summer: "Finally, I was drying out!"
electrical doodad: "It looks stupid."
catcoon: "Cute."
cat tail: "Upsetting."
lil' itchy: "Is this a plush of one of those stupid blood-sucking bugs?"
beaver and moose kitschy idols: "What is this?"
goose kitschy idol: "What in the name of whoever created this place is that!?"
werebeaver: "Is that what beavers look like?"
weremoose: "Hmm. Ye might put up a good fight against whatever ye challenge."
weregoose: "HAHAHAHA!!"
monster meat: "Argh! Smells rotten."
cooked monster meat quotes
singleplayer: "That just made it smell worse."
multiplayer: "Maybe the fire woman's wrong about fire sometimes."
!+monster tartare: "Arrr... maybe I'll just go back to raw carrots."
!cookie cutter: "YOU."
!cookie cutter shell: "Har har!"
salt formation: "I licked one of those once. Too salty."
pig skin: "They left behind their tail."
floaty boaty knight: "Argh! Yer cramping me relaxing time!"
boat cannon: "No good boat without one of these, arrr."
brainy matter: "That's not what brains look like."
brainy sprout: "It looks squishy in the gross way."
brain of thought: "This feels very gross, but for knowledge, I suppose."
prestihatitator: "Who is making these names?"
dripple pipes: "It makes the sky cry."
sinkhole: "It be plugged. Wonder if I can unplug it."
open sinkhole: "Maybe I was too curious, arr."
batilisk: "Argh! A creature of the underground!"
naked mole bat: "Such a weird thing."
naked nostrils: "Who knows what it was sniffing."
charred nostrils: "What a rotten smell."
collected dust: "What's the point of this?"
amberosia: "I would lick it if I didn't know what it was made of."
dust moth: "They eat dust."
sealando: "AGRHHHH!!!"
seal: "If this is a joke, it's not a very amusing one."
shriek: "Do ye need to do all that?"
rasp: "Ye remind me of this one lizard..."
jitters: "It's in a permanent handstand."
rictus: "I hate ye."
tallbird: "The name's a bit on the nose, ain't it?"
tallbird nest: "It's a little tiny for the egg."
tallbird egg: "Imagine the breakfast I could make with this?"
ice cream: "Mmm, finally some treats!"
rockjaw: "Woah! Woah! We're the same, me and ye!"
raw fish: "I have no idea what kind of fish this is, but smells tasty."
fish steak: "Arr, me mouth be drooling just from looking at it."
meat: "Meat."
cooked meat: "Juicy, but needs salt."
jerky: "Chewy."
runty guppy: "Argh! This be a joke!?"
needlenosed squirt: "Ugh, so small."
bitty baitfish: "So small, I could use it as bait..."
smolt fry: "Ugh."
popperfish: "I don't like popcorn."
fallounder: "That's... interesting."
bloomfin tuna: "I'll just pick the flower off, I guess."
scorching sunfish: "MY HANDS!"
spittlefish: "Ugh! You dare spit at me!?"
mudfish: "Yuck"
deep bass: "Ooh, this'll be a good one!"
dandy lionfish: "It's, what? 90% spikes."
black catfish: "Just as I couldn't get any unluckier here."
corn cod: "Huh."
dappled and golden koi: "It's almost too pretty to eat. Almost." (ripoff of wendy's quote but i dont care)
ice bream: "How do ye expect me to cook this?"
sweetish fish: "This is perfect!"
bfb: "Jeez, and I thought that bird guy was huge."
old bell: "Why'd the statue give this?"
biiigfoot: "Aaaah!"
ghost: "I thought ye weren't real!"
hail: "What the..."
one-man band: "I don't see the point in music."
ancient herald: "I didn't know this would happen."
pog: "Adorable."
aporkalypse pog: "Still adorable, but I should probably run before it rips out my neck."
mant: "That's a huge bug."
warrior mant: "They have guards?"
honey: "It's sticky."
dragoon: "Well, that was anticlimactic."
dragoon heart: "Glowy."
magic water: "What is magic about this?"
magic flower: "I see..."
slanty shanty: "Home sweet home."
befriended pig: "Ye be smelly, but it's nice to have a friend here."
glow berry: "It gives me a stomachache."
gestalt: "Are they whispering?"

quotes marked with a * r unimplemented, and if its marked with a +, it's part of a dlc, and if its part of the multiplayer version, there will be a !

? means it was made the fuck up by me lmao