Chart by Sponeg Zemenar on twitter/X
Next up on the fart chart list, a dick we'd all love to ride, it's Dick Gumshoe!

Head canons:
🍜 Nothing about Gumshoe is quiet, but his farts are especially loud. He could fart on the third floor of a building and you could hear it from the first floor. If for some reason, you don't hear him let it rip, you'll definitely hear his reaction.

🍜 Gumshoe + coffee is a ticking time bomb, so you can understand why the other officers are hesitant to work with him on a stake out. Not to mention Gumshoe already struggles to control his gas. But hey, if you want to volunteer to stake out with Gumshoe, I'm sure the other officers would appreciate it.

🍜 One time, the department had a booth at a local fair, and guess who got stuck wearing the Blue Badger costume? And on taco Tuesday no less? You can imagine everyone's embarrassment when their Blue Badger kept ripping ass. With nowhere to let out the smell, poor Gumshoe was trapped in his own walking Dutch oven. The smell was so bad that, to this day, the Blue Badger suit still carries the smell of Gumshoe's farts.

Special technique: Hot box
🍜 Anyone brave, foolish, or horny enough to ride in a car with Gumshoe will have to endure the Gumshoe Hot Box. He doesn't mean to, but the windows in his car don't work, and we've already established that he can't hold it in. Huh? What about the windows in the police car? Hm, maybe his hotbox isn't so accidental after all...