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lately i've been asking myself a lot of questions (desc)
the most recent, strongest question that has sprung itself on me is: who are you without your gender? what makes you a person, rather than 'this kind of girl/boy'? do you choose queer as a gender? how much does your gender define you, even if you define yourself by being a 'not girly girl' or 'girly boy' or 'boyish girl'; using an antonym for your definition?
how much of your actions are based on your gender rather than your sexuality or your physical differences? do you spend more time differentiating between sex organs than hair color, or other physical features? are those the only ones that spark differences in your mind? how do you treat different genders? how different are those treatments?
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lately, i've been listening very closely to conversations around me, finding the 'he thinks' or 'she wants' comments, all those pronouns, and wondering if we left those out how different the conversations would be. i've been listening for how much people on the street everyday make decisions based on gender. how much they assume different things based on gender. what that changes or shows of their view of the other person.
is it gender we are looking at? is it gender we are noticing? what do we use gender for? the differences in sexual organs and physical traits between humans have very little to do with our everyday 24th century life, so why does gender?
...i don't know
how much of your actions are based on your gender rather than your sexuality or your physical differences? do you spend more time differentiating between sex organs than hair color, or other physical features? are those the only ones that spark differences in your mind? how do you treat different genders? how different are those treatments?
-
lately, i've been listening very closely to conversations around me, finding the 'he thinks' or 'she wants' comments, all those pronouns, and wondering if we left those out how different the conversations would be. i've been listening for how much people on the street everyday make decisions based on gender. how much they assume different things based on gender. what that changes or shows of their view of the other person.
is it gender we are looking at? is it gender we are noticing? what do we use gender for? the differences in sexual organs and physical traits between humans have very little to do with our everyday 24th century life, so why does gender?
...i don't know
Category Artwork (Digital) / Portraits
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 620 x 877px
File Size 99.8 kB
Gender Identity is deeply complex. I will the be first to admit I am no expert here, but I hope you don't mind my two cents.
In a nutshell: fuck the other people.
Now let's try and crack that open. Gender identity is what you see yourself as and no one else can say that. I am not talking about in a transgender or transexual way... For example, I have a female friend who is gender queer. She won't correct you if you use the "wrong" pronoun. For them, either works.
As for what other people think... let them. They are going to have their preconcieved ideas about everyone because of sterotypes and other things like that. Whether you choose to go as "him" or "her" won't change what people see (for the most part). Unless you plan to stop and talk with every person you meet, people will think things.
You are the one who has to figure out how you identify. And you do have time. There are many more years to come. And there is nothing wrong with taking time to decide. Sure, people will be confused, but who cares. As long as you have friends by your side, everything will be fine. There are people you can talk too, as well.
You may want to possibly look into your area's LGBT center as well; they may be able to help.
In a nutshell: fuck the other people.
Now let's try and crack that open. Gender identity is what you see yourself as and no one else can say that. I am not talking about in a transgender or transexual way... For example, I have a female friend who is gender queer. She won't correct you if you use the "wrong" pronoun. For them, either works.
As for what other people think... let them. They are going to have their preconcieved ideas about everyone because of sterotypes and other things like that. Whether you choose to go as "him" or "her" won't change what people see (for the most part). Unless you plan to stop and talk with every person you meet, people will think things.
You are the one who has to figure out how you identify. And you do have time. There are many more years to come. And there is nothing wrong with taking time to decide. Sure, people will be confused, but who cares. As long as you have friends by your side, everything will be fine. There are people you can talk too, as well.
You may want to possibly look into your area's LGBT center as well; they may be able to help.
well, i have access to resources, but what to do with them is another matter.
how i want to go about in the world, how i view it myself and how others see me are different things. i don't usually care about everyone on the street and how they receive me, but when i make assumptions myself and when my values are called into question is what trips me up. not that i have a problem with value-fucking, but i suppose this one is a rather integrated part of the american society and how i talk to people/conduct myself every day. also how my different friends have come to know/perceive me, and how i talk to them.
and in regard to "Naruto225" wrote:They are going to have their preconcieved ideas about everyone because of sterotypes and other things like that. , preconceived ideas are only valid to an extent. people often decide that a view is good for them, then stay with it because it has served them well and they don't feel like changing to something unfamiliar. 'because of stereotypes' is one reason, also 'its the way things have been done' is the other... just because we've been exploiting poorer countries than ours since the cold war and beyond doesn't mean its something we should still be doing, etc etc.
how i want to go about in the world, how i view it myself and how others see me are different things. i don't usually care about everyone on the street and how they receive me, but when i make assumptions myself and when my values are called into question is what trips me up. not that i have a problem with value-fucking, but i suppose this one is a rather integrated part of the american society and how i talk to people/conduct myself every day. also how my different friends have come to know/perceive me, and how i talk to them.
and in regard to "Naruto225" wrote:They are going to have their preconcieved ideas about everyone because of sterotypes and other things like that. , preconceived ideas are only valid to an extent. people often decide that a view is good for them, then stay with it because it has served them well and they don't feel like changing to something unfamiliar. 'because of stereotypes' is one reason, also 'its the way things have been done' is the other... just because we've been exploiting poorer countries than ours since the cold war and beyond doesn't mean its something we should still be doing, etc etc.
I remember having the same philosophical conversations when I was a teenager. I can't believe that was only a few years ago. What's funny is the whole gender-identity topic lost it's meaning for me once I became an independent adult and had the whole world before me and the freedom to follow my whims. Everything I now do is because I have a desire or curiosity to do it, not because it's what a "guy" does or because it's the "straight thing to do". I do lots of typical guy things. I also do lots of things that a typical guy's guy-friends would laugh at him for doing--I cook (my skills go waaaay beyond the grilling you see me do at meets), I clean and vacuum (and kinda enjoy doing it, it's rather relaxing xp), I can sew, I listen to chick songs, I sing to chick songs (Ask Keeko! :P). I'm straight but I go to gay-friendly bars with gay friends. I'm solid about my gender identity and my orientation, so I don't feel shaken when someone calls it into question because of the less than masculine things I do, or the gay-friendly things I do.
This topic really is a wonderful one to explore, and everyone should at some point in their life. But the paths it leads us down and the questions it answers are going to be unique to each of us, and so it's more of a personal journey for shaping the individual rather than one that can be used to create an entirely new set of social & gender principals for society as a whole. I think a lot of energy gets used on the latter, there's a lot of people out there with an impatient desire to change society and do it now now NOW! But I bet that in time as more and more people become comfortable with taking their own personal journey of self-discovery (in regards to their gender and whatnot :P there are many other personal journeys besides this one!) then those changes will happen on their own anyway. Gender identity is only as important as we make it, and it becomes a bit of a bygone topic once we're solid about the person we are.
Now the new challenge is learning how to pick up on how other people view themselves without having to bluntly ask XD
Cheers!
This topic really is a wonderful one to explore, and everyone should at some point in their life. But the paths it leads us down and the questions it answers are going to be unique to each of us, and so it's more of a personal journey for shaping the individual rather than one that can be used to create an entirely new set of social & gender principals for society as a whole. I think a lot of energy gets used on the latter, there's a lot of people out there with an impatient desire to change society and do it now now NOW! But I bet that in time as more and more people become comfortable with taking their own personal journey of self-discovery (in regards to their gender and whatnot :P there are many other personal journeys besides this one!) then those changes will happen on their own anyway. Gender identity is only as important as we make it, and it becomes a bit of a bygone topic once we're solid about the person we are.
Now the new challenge is learning how to pick up on how other people view themselves without having to bluntly ask XD
Cheers!
Though I personally don't have a paragraph of response for you, I do have to say that over here in pullman, i've noticed the same types of situations, where decisions are based on gender, it's sort of odd I suppose, but I think it's just how we are raised in that sense of mind. =P
Uh oh, you cracked open a whole can of worms. I especially enjoy thinking about sexuality and human behavior.
So, it seems to me you are asking for the relationship between gender, gender-identity, and behavior.
Let me clarify myself: I think that sexuality is the sum of all of the procreation-instinct-driven behaviors. Preference is the type of mate desired. Gender is the parts you were born with. Sexuality comes in different levels. Gender-identity is a fun topic.
HERE IS MY OPINION:
Some people allow their sexuality to show through in different ways. Who you hang out with, what hobbies you take up, how much you grind on strangers and demand they whip it out; these are all affected by sexuality.
Society creates the need to behave based on sexuality, but it varies from person to person. The ultimate way you act is a combination of hundreds of impulses competing for control. As people grow up and go through life, their minds are constantly adjusting the priority of these impulses. So, sexually-driven impulses are more key to some people than to others.
An example from myself: I strike most people as a nerd who will marry a small woman of Asian descent in my thirties. They never see it coming that I'm gay, and they most definitely never predict I'm a classy romancer. In fact, it might be pointed out that very little of my behavior originates from my sexuality or preference. I instead identify myself with my character and hobbies, my interests and my morals.
When it comes to sexuality, society has a super powerful turbo boost: tradition. Look at the English language, or any widely-spoken language. How to you refer to someone without insulting them or identifying their gender or age? Her? It? How can people be expected to ignore gender when it is so important to differentiate in even our language?
Hence, when a person developing their personality is exposed to society (as they always are), they learning to act and think by differentiating others by gender, among many other things like preference and gender-indicating-behaviors.
Gender-indicating-behaviors are one of society’s great constructs, formed from stereotypes and beliefs. GIBs define what is ‘manly’ and what is ‘womanly.’ GIBs are what cause gender-identity. If you “feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body,” you are confused. A woman has a vagina, but because of gender-indicating-behaviors, the term ‘woman’ also has feminine behaviors in addition to the vagina. In my opinion, anyone who is gender-confused is paying too much attention to stereotypes.
The only way society’s control of personal behavior in the sexual realm will loosen is if we ignore the connections between behavior and gender, which will be harder than it sounds. Too much of daily life involves stereotypes even at the smallest level. So, remember to always think about the way you act and the things you say, and remind others to do the same.
So, it seems to me you are asking for the relationship between gender, gender-identity, and behavior.
Let me clarify myself: I think that sexuality is the sum of all of the procreation-instinct-driven behaviors. Preference is the type of mate desired. Gender is the parts you were born with. Sexuality comes in different levels. Gender-identity is a fun topic.
HERE IS MY OPINION:
Some people allow their sexuality to show through in different ways. Who you hang out with, what hobbies you take up, how much you grind on strangers and demand they whip it out; these are all affected by sexuality.
Society creates the need to behave based on sexuality, but it varies from person to person. The ultimate way you act is a combination of hundreds of impulses competing for control. As people grow up and go through life, their minds are constantly adjusting the priority of these impulses. So, sexually-driven impulses are more key to some people than to others.
An example from myself: I strike most people as a nerd who will marry a small woman of Asian descent in my thirties. They never see it coming that I'm gay, and they most definitely never predict I'm a classy romancer. In fact, it might be pointed out that very little of my behavior originates from my sexuality or preference. I instead identify myself with my character and hobbies, my interests and my morals.
When it comes to sexuality, society has a super powerful turbo boost: tradition. Look at the English language, or any widely-spoken language. How to you refer to someone without insulting them or identifying their gender or age? Her? It? How can people be expected to ignore gender when it is so important to differentiate in even our language?
Hence, when a person developing their personality is exposed to society (as they always are), they learning to act and think by differentiating others by gender, among many other things like preference and gender-indicating-behaviors.
Gender-indicating-behaviors are one of society’s great constructs, formed from stereotypes and beliefs. GIBs define what is ‘manly’ and what is ‘womanly.’ GIBs are what cause gender-identity. If you “feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body,” you are confused. A woman has a vagina, but because of gender-indicating-behaviors, the term ‘woman’ also has feminine behaviors in addition to the vagina. In my opinion, anyone who is gender-confused is paying too much attention to stereotypes.
The only way society’s control of personal behavior in the sexual realm will loosen is if we ignore the connections between behavior and gender, which will be harder than it sounds. Too much of daily life involves stereotypes even at the smallest level. So, remember to always think about the way you act and the things you say, and remind others to do the same.
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