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In general, my sales started to fall. People keep unsubscribing. All this makes me very upset. I started looking for a part-time job because I feel like I'm losing the desire to draw. I just can't do it. Does it make sense to knock on closed doors? I don't see the point in that. I have low drawing skills, and that's the reason other people don't like my work.
I'm upset. I have a debt of $1,000, which is a lot for the CIS countries, but I can't pay it off. Potential buyers don't like my work just because I can't draw. My drawing level is too low. I don't want to get into debt or lifetime loans. It seems that there is an opportunity to pay off the debt, but it is not yet known if it will work, and this is not related to my work. But in any case, even after paying off the debt, I won't be able to provide for myself.
I'm not getting better mentally either. Nothing helps. It's the same thing every time. I go to a new psychiatrist, and at first the treatment helps, but then it stops working, and I get worse again.
I've been looking for a job for 5 days now, I don't know if that's a lot, but I'm not accepted anywhere, I've only been given a test assignment once. But I lost. I am uncompetitive. I was trying to find a job as a copywriter or content manager, because I still know how to write texts and type quickly. But there is little such work, and there are many who want it. I don't even know if I'll be able to find a job at all.
That's what I'm getting at. I don't feel needed here, I have 1,000 subscribers and such a small asset. I want to leave here, but I won't do it yet, in case I'm just writing all this emotionally. But even if I decide to act coolly, I will warn you about it and, of course, I will repay all the debts that I have on time, I am not a fraud and do not want to deceive anyone. In the sense that I will draw everything on time.
It's just that thoughts of returning to Uzbekistan and rotting there at the age of 40 or [censorship] are visiting me more and more often. I'm tired and I don't want anything.
I'm upset. I have a debt of $1,000, which is a lot for the CIS countries, but I can't pay it off. Potential buyers don't like my work just because I can't draw. My drawing level is too low. I don't want to get into debt or lifetime loans. It seems that there is an opportunity to pay off the debt, but it is not yet known if it will work, and this is not related to my work. But in any case, even after paying off the debt, I won't be able to provide for myself.
I'm not getting better mentally either. Nothing helps. It's the same thing every time. I go to a new psychiatrist, and at first the treatment helps, but then it stops working, and I get worse again.
I've been looking for a job for 5 days now, I don't know if that's a lot, but I'm not accepted anywhere, I've only been given a test assignment once. But I lost. I am uncompetitive. I was trying to find a job as a copywriter or content manager, because I still know how to write texts and type quickly. But there is little such work, and there are many who want it. I don't even know if I'll be able to find a job at all.
That's what I'm getting at. I don't feel needed here, I have 1,000 subscribers and such a small asset. I want to leave here, but I won't do it yet, in case I'm just writing all this emotionally. But even if I decide to act coolly, I will warn you about it and, of course, I will repay all the debts that I have on time, I am not a fraud and do not want to deceive anyone. In the sense that I will draw everything on time.
It's just that thoughts of returning to Uzbekistan and rotting there at the age of 40 or [censorship] are visiting me more and more often. I'm tired and I don't want anything.
Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 2400 x 1400px
File Size 2.15 MB
I think slowing down is okay. Unfortunately drawing skills only improve when you keep drawing.
I don't think people not buying has anything to do with you not drawing well. Unless they are literally saying it. Money is tight for a lot of people. I've liked a lot of the pieces you have put out but I just can't afford stuff.
Depressing sucks, life is hard but it wouldn't be life if it wasn't. Keep trying. <3
Personally I think my own art/drawings suck too and everyone else always says they like them, that they are good etc. You are your own worst critic, just remember that.
I don't think people not buying has anything to do with you not drawing well. Unless they are literally saying it. Money is tight for a lot of people. I've liked a lot of the pieces you have put out but I just can't afford stuff.
Depressing sucks, life is hard but it wouldn't be life if it wasn't. Keep trying. <3
Personally I think my own art/drawings suck too and everyone else always says they like them, that they are good etc. You are your own worst critic, just remember that.
Thank you for the support! It's hard not to criticize yourself... It's just a shame that I used to draw better and more beautifully, but now my level has become lower, and now I have to learn everything all over again, which is very difficult, as if it used to be easier to learn something new...
Well age kind of does that. But also when we don't do something for awhile, we have to rebuild the muscle of it. Try doing some fun little drawing exercises that make you feel good for practice. 5 minutes waiting for water to boil on the stove. 20 minutes during a show or something. Just little things. And just remember we all go through this, feeling like we've regressed and being super critical of our own stuff. I know I certainly do.
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