Image stuck in my head that I just had to vomit onto canvas. This came about after a discussion the other day with a friend about ethics and morality and suddenly he asked me an armor piercing question. At first I didn't think much of it, but upon further thought it started to bug me and I asked myself 'how did I allow my heart to rot so badly?' To tell you the truth, I always tell people I'm in reality a terrible person just so there's no ugly surprises.

But am I telling them just to be honest or am I just trying to reassure myself? Having a heart can be a real liability sometimes no matter what it's made of. One of flesh breaks, one of gold can be stolen by the manipulative, a heart of ice can melt, and even one of iron can end up rusting away. But yet in spite of myself and all the years of pain, I just can't seem to toss the damn thing out. Anytime in a game or such, I find myself always choosing the 'nice' or 'moral' option, I don't ever pick the jerk options even knowing they don't count.

Sometimes I really hate that about myself, I've seen what this world does to truly good people and part of me is trying my best not to end up like that. But yet and despite my best efforts, I just can't seem to get the shoulder angel to ever shut up. I think part of it is likely arrogance of trying to hold myself to some kind of 'standards' even though nobody really actually cares despite what they say. If the world really cared, it would stop lavishing wealth and prestige on the absolute worst dregs of all. But anyway, guess I'll just keep trudging along and try to be an honest broker even though I know it's going to continue to bite me in the ass.

Anyway, thank you for listening to that little morality play and hope you like the drawing.