Hey everyone. Look. I....I know it's been awhile since we chatted. I apologize for not saying a lot. But, can we talk for a little while, about, what happened and why?

Look, the truth is, ever since I got this new job, I've been trying my hardest to do the best I can, and my job, is a very physically demanding one. I get super tired from it, every single day, and honestly, part of me is ready to quit, for I've been seeking a future with the Job Corps. I decided to stop going to college, because I've been hearing that college these days, is kinda becoming a scam, and a huge money drain on students. I already went for 2 and a half years, and I STILL haven't graduated, so I thought, "What's the point in going to college? All I'm doing is relearning old subjects I learned in high school. This is a complete waste of time." This past fall, I decided to stop, and now, I've been pursuing my education efforts towards Job Corps, where I can actually learn real paws-on trades and careers that are actually gonna benefit me when I get older, and that's another thing. Getting older.

Notice how I look? The grey in my fur and whiskers? I'm almost 21 years old. I know that's young, but, I just....I'm starting to feel a bit old too. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone, but every day, I hear about those my age, or younger, and they're doing better things in life, and I....sometimes, I feel like I just can't compete. I can't compete or be like the younger ones in our lives. There are some days, I feel like an afterthought in life, and oftentimes, I've tried to deal with things on my own, and every single time, I realize, I can't. Also ....*sigh* 2 members of my family have recently passed on, into the desert of the skies. My grandma on my dad's side, and my great-grandpa on my mom's side. Hearing about their deaths has made me ponder and think about my life. What am I gonna do? What will my life be about? What kind of legacy am I setting for this world? I know someday I'm gonna be like them, and I wanna leave a lasting paw print on this world. I want something in this world, to show that I mattered. That I did something while I was alive.

Next, I'm just gonna be honest. Another reason I've been away for awhile. I've kinda been getting into dating again. I've met up with this wonderful girl. I won't say her name to protect privacy, but lemme tell you. She gets me, a lot, as well as all of you. She's nice, kind, wants a family as much as I do, and now, this feels like the perfect time for me to try to really be committed in a relationship with her. I'm kind of starting to love her. But. that's all I'm gonna say.

I'm sorry I haven't chatted with any of you in a long time, and believe me, I really do want to, but its just, this life I live, and the thoughts that enter my head, the society I live, it's just....it's hard. Sometimes I feel like I'm being pulled down, and I just wanna break free.

I hope it makes sense to you all, and I humbly apologize if it doesn't.