Will, to The Squad: None of you know what propaganda is, do you?
Wilson: I think it’s when a British person takes a good look at something.
Will: Heh, Wilson sneezes like a girl.
Wilson: How about I pound you like boy?
Wilson: That didn’t come out right.
Wilson: Present your best argument for eating bacon.
Will: If animals don’t want to be eaten, then why are they made of food?
Will: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?
Vincent: ...Have you never taken a shower before?
Vincent: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.
Will: Oh. We're going out?
Vincent: Wh…
Will: Screw you!
Vincent: I'll have to check with my significant other, but I'll get back to you.
Vincent: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?
Paul: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?
Paul: I know every song to ever exist it doesn't matter if it's from the past, present or the future.
Vincent: Oh yeah? Then continue this.
Vincent: I don't cook I don't clean-
Paul: So let me tell you how I got this ring.
Paul & Vincent: .....
Paul & Vincent: GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME-
Paul: Look, last night was a mistake.
Vincent: A sexy mistake.
Paul: No, just a regular mistake.
Will: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*
Paul: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?
Will: I—
Will: I don’t know the correct answer to that question
Will: You have to apologize to them Paul.
Paul: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!
Paul: I suppose you’re right. We really would be better off working together.
Will: So, then… détente?
Paul: Agreed.
Will: Understanding?
Paul: Possibly.
Will: Cooperation?
Paul: Maybe.
Will: Trust?
Paul: Out of the question.
Will: Today, Paul said a swear word, so Vincent said that they were going to wash Paul's mouth out with soap. Paul replied, “It’s okay, I like the taste of soap”. Turns out, they’ve been putting soap on their lips to blow bubbles
Paul: Adults are the most insanely stupid people I have the displeasure of interacting with.
Vincent, referring to themself and Will:Even us?
Paul: Especially you guys.
Will:
Vincent:
Will: Petition to kick Paul out so they stop insulting us.
Vincent: Seconded.
Paul, trying to impress Will: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.
Vincent: They turned it off and back on again.
.Wilson: So what do you have planned for the future?
Vincent: Lunch.
Wilson: No, like long term.
Vincent: Oh...um, dinner?
Wilson: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you.
Vincent: Being a fish.
Wilson: Well, shit.
Vincent: I won a new phone in a race.
Wilson: Huh? What kind of race lets you win a phone, Vincent?
Vincent: A race between the store owner, the cop, and me


Paul: Tu es tellement drôle!
Wilson: Thanks; I’m desperate for people to like me
Paul: Wilson, comment appelles-tu les gens avec qui tu sors mais avec qui tu n’essaies pas de coucher ?
Wilson: ...People?
Wilson: Priest kink is definitely a thing and I am afflicted by it.
Paul : Va à l'église.
Paul : ATTENDS—