omfggggg i accidentally posted this to my gallery instead of scraps and then accidentally deleted the scraps reupload along with the gallery version. take 3

i made a couple drawings for a pmv with bloodeater and this one's for the start of ^that lyric i titled this after
i realized bloodeater is an applestrike song in december. so awesome. ive been really into applestrike's stress lately, its a fun development. theres NEW thoughts happening right now too, iv been thinking about how applstrike feels about redstar as someone who was such an important support for her as a kid. and thinking about how much of his kindness and reliability had ulterior motives. how long did redfoot/star care about her? when did it shift into his own self interest?

there's this terrible awareness of how familiar redstar and applestrike are with each other physically. they know how they each take up space and how they move and all the little tells and muscle twitches that betray their plans a split second before they happen. redstar taught applestrike everything she knows, but she learned just as much about how he moves and fights. applestrike is smaller than him, and recently very injured when she attacks to kill him. it is not an easy fight for her. but shes up against the one cat she knows as an opponent more than any cat she's ever fought or sparred with.

i went through all that some months ago, but only now for the first time am i thinking about the long term effects on applestrike. she was so convinced that redfoot had to die. that he would only regain strength and start causing trouble again if he stayed alive. she was sick with paranoia that he would finally finish her off for working against him and costing him his power. so she has to get rid of him and the threat he poses. but months, years down the line, she isnt sure of that anymore. how could she ever have been so sure? she wasnt working off of some vitally important vision from starclan. she couldnt predict how redfoot would act after stepping down as leader and cooperating with eaglestar's orders. there was some belief in thunderclan that redfoot could change, or that he at least deserved to be given the chance. and applestrike took that from him. from his family and his clan. there's nothing she can do, he's dead, and she's far away from the clans living the new life she'd always wanted

i love applestrike so much you have no idea. or maybe you do because of how much i talk about her. i love that eye of the storm isnt meant to be a concrete story i craft and put out as a piece of writing or a comic or something, it's made for me to play around with and change over and over again and just test stuff out with. lots of things have become solid and Canon, but this entire iteration came from a huge shift in focus in 2018, and then a complete retcon fest around 2019/2020. im thinking of new developments all the time and im having a fucking blast