Jasmine puts on the latest suit sent by Leland. She escapes from captivity and finds herself in another Pokemon universe where she- now he -is a Lugia and the mayor of a small town.

Part 7 of a series

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Commission for  catprog and their website catprog.org. If you enjoyed this story, you should visit their website for more similarly themed TF stories!

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Jasmine had thought she was desperate for an exit from the Pokémon universe, but locked in a prison cell from which she’d journey to the gallows of forced matrimony there had never been a greater need to escape. The inexplicable return of Leland’s letter alongside the package was strange, but she wasn’t about to stop and think about it. No matter what creature awaited her in that box, she was going to put it on. Not even a cockroach or a slug suit would’ve stopped her. Anything to get out of this fucking place.

She tore open the package hurriedly at first, then more slowly when she realized someone might hear her outside the door. The box flaps came apart and inside was a velveteen screen of short white fur folded up tightly. Jasmine wasted no time yanking it out of the box and standing up so that it plummeted into its unfolded shape. What caught her attention the most were the blue protrusions which sprung out at her from the back. There were six of them, rectangular in shape, and about eight inches long. A tail drooped to the floor in the same color as the rest of the body. Not like any animal I’ve ever seen. What the hell is it?

Jasmine turned the onesie around and inspected the hood. Around the rim were two horn-like accents that were the same color as the back spines. A crest jutted from the back of the hood. A soft blue underbelly textured the front. Another mythical creature, she surmised. But what? There wasn’t any time to figure that out. Someone could come barging in at any moment. Without any more delay she unzipped the onesie and hurriedly stepped inside. This better not screw me over like the last two times, Leland. Jasmine tucked her arms into the long sleeves and noticed how broad and spacious they were. Massive, flat fingers fanned out at their ends. It made grabbing the zipper tab and flipping up the hood difficult, but after a few clumsy attempts they were both up, and the onesie was on.

Jasmine knew the protocol. She looked up from the zipper, waited a moment, then looked back down to see that it was gone. At once the onesie began to shrink into her skin to create an airtight seal like being inside a vacuumed trash bag. She hadn’t a mirror to check her progress in, but the creeping tickle which sank around her face was gauge enough. Her brow was swept over by the material, then her lips, and finally the nose.

The fibers interwoven through the onesie wove into her skin and triggered the growth process. All at once there came a body-wide bloating sensation. “Oof…” Jasmine hunched over a little and brought her hand in front of her gut. When they touched, she received the first bit of sensation in what was a swelling layer of abdominal muscle. What had been her breasts shrank under a plate of pectorals hard and heavy. The same happened to her limbs, a highway of taut muscle growing out and lacing through an impressive physique. Just clenching her hand into a fist brought a feeling of power not felt since she was a tigertaur.

The bone growth in the body was minimal, albeit much more intense in the face where her snout and features were drawn forward in a slow and arduous stretching. Jasmine grunted through the process, her only distraction from the discomfort coming from the sudden attachment of the tail to her spine, bringing with it a very sudden sweep of sensation from the root to the tip. From there it began to fill out with muscle and sinew, becoming a short and tough appendage which hovered in a slight curl just above the ground with its two indigo spikes near the tip in a broad V formation. Astride Jasmine’s face were the broad blue accents shaped like wingtips. They consumed the space around her eyes like a mask. A pointed crest grew out from the back of her cranium, and then her transformation was complete.

All the stretching and bloating came to a stop. Jasmine stood there blinking, the unfamiliarity of yet another new body ringing throughout her frame. She lifted one hand and inspected it. It was big, almost like a mitt. The fingers were long and flat with blunt tips. They were attached to thick forearms woven tight with wiry sinew. Looking down she saw the tough topography of her trunk and the dark blue color that covered her underbelly. The womanly figure she had just boasted had been chiseled into something much harsher. Looks like I’m Jared again, I guess, he thought. He’d lost count of how many times he had switched gender. He was used to it by this point.

Looking over his shoulder revealed the tail and back spines. The latter were long and curved like scythes albeit with flat tips. Waving his tail back and forth carried the weight of the thagomizer spikes at the tip. It struck him how familiar it was, at least in appearance if not feeling. I know this look. Where have I seen it? He was about to look down at himself to try and further jog his memory, but then it dawned on him. I have to be in a new universe. Maybe I can find a mirror.

He was about to dash for the door when he recalled the situation he was in. The door was still locked, likely with someone on the other side keeping watch. At least, that’s how it was in the selkie world he’d just left. The room was still the same. If the regular rules still applied here (Who fucking knows by this point) then it would transition upon him entering a new space. If I want to get out of here, it’s either through that door or the window, and there’s no way this fat tail’s going to squeeze through the latter.

Jared took a deep breath and approached the door. He clasped the knob which felt tiny in his giant hand, then tried to turn it. Luckily it moved without resistance, and he heard the tumblers fall away. He opened the door slowly, bracing for a shout or for the door to be shoved in his face. Nothing of the sort happened, and it swung all the way open.

What greeted him was… not at all what he expected. After being locked up in the rustic, grimy house of a fisherman, seeing the bubbly, brightly colored living room that he found himself in was jarring to the point of concussive. Here was a living room with modern decorations and furniture, all of it the same theme of white and blue as his body. In front of a wide, snowy couch was a stout bubble television holding a pair of rabbit ears.

Jared stood in awe of what was mostly a perfectly normal living room. Is this my place? It certainly seemed that way with the color theme. After two whole weeks of living in the wilderness as either a Pokémon or a selkie, just standing in a place of modern luxury felt alien and bizarre. The place was totally silent without another soul to keep him company or accuse him of trying to escape. He looked over his shoulder back into the room he exited. It had turned into what looked like a guestroom with a small bed and a dresser. He hadn’t been kidnapped here. He was free.

That was an immense load off his chest, but he still had to figure out what and where he was exactly. Stepping deeper into the living room he was able to look out one of the windows. It was bright outside, the sky clear of the Plutonian overcast which had made his imprisonment all the bleaker. The television was nearby, its bowed screen offering a reflection for him to look at, if a dull one. Jared fell to one knee and saw his own image for the first time since transforming. There was his pointed face, almost avian in quality. He slid his fingers across the sharp accents that swung out from his visor. They looked sharp compared to the broad digits he touched them with. A frown creased his features. Wait a minute…

He needed a better mirror. Jared shot back to his feet and darted his eyes around the house. If this place is mine, I should know where the bathroom is. Instinct brought him towards another door which he launched open. Just like he’d hoped, it was a full bathroom having a tub and a toilet. Above the sink was a mirror on the wall directly in front of him where he saw himself standing in the doorway, gripping the doorknob and wearing an excited look.

It all came rushing back. “Lugia?” he said out loud. It came out like a question even as the evidence literally stared him in the face. The legendary psychic-flying Pokémon was among the most iconic of the entire series. Part of him was kicking himself for not having recognized it as soon as he had opened the package it came in, though he could be forgiven seeing how it hadn’t been as fleshed out like now. It explains the big hands and fingers. These things are made for flying.

But there were other questions. Why another Pokémon universe? Or is this the same as the one I was in as a Vaporeon? That couldn’t have been the case, not when he hadn’t encountered a single anthropomorphic Pokémon while there. Are there humans here? Will there be nothing but other Lugias here? Am I the only one? As always, there was only one way to find out. He exited the bathroom and faced the big, blue front door. Without hesitation, he marched forward and opened it.

It was walking into a hotbed of color and noise, a flashbang to the senses after having been couped up for so long against his will. It forcibly made him recoil and squint his eyes. When they blinked open and came into focus, he saw the sprawling village he’d phased into. A dusty roundabout circled a signpost whose wooden arrows pointed about randomly. Orbiting the circle were several quaint houses like Jared’s, albeit with their own designs and personalities unique to their neighbors. The ground swelled westward into a slope, evening out into another neighborhood of homes of similar size and distinctiveness. Is this supposed to be this realm’s version of the town I was in? Is there an ocean on the other side of it? Is there any connection between them at all?

His train of thought was interrupted by the passing shadow of a bird. He looked up and caught a glimpse of an anthropomorphic silhouette, its body parallel to the ground with the wing-arms outstretched into a T-shape. With the sun high in the sky right above it, Jared shielded his eyes and tracked the flying creature as it went. The sun’s afterimage had burned a fat blotch of blue into his retinas, but before the flying creature flew out of sight, he thought he recognized the colors and feather patterns of a Pidgeot.

“Hi, Mayor!”

Jared nearly jolted out of his skin. He blinked the afterimage out of his eyes and looked across the traffic circle to see someone standing in the front doorway of their home. It was a woman with cream colored fur across her body and a lithe cattail hovering behind her. She resembled a normal (that word had become very relative to Jared these past few weeks) cat woman he might’ve encountered in the other realms, but there gleamed a bright gold coin atop her forehead. Jared identified her as either a Meowth or a Persian.

Did she just call me Mayor? Is she even talking to me? She was looking right at him, waiting for a response, so apparently yes. Jared cleared his throat, unsure if he would even be able to talk. “Uhh, hi! How are you?” His voice sounded exactly like it had anywhere else. After his time in the other Pokémon universe as a Vaporeon he had grown used to pronouncing nothing but his species’ name.

“Oh, I’m just fine! I’m headed out for foraging.” She stepped the rest of the way outside and closed the door behind her. “You have a nice day!”

Jared waved at her as she made her way west up the hill. “Yeah, you too.” His mind was stuck on the whole ‘Mayor’ thing. So, I’m a mayor all of the sudden? Is that because I’m a Lugia? This was a degree of separation greater than the other universes where he was anthropomorphic. He hadn’t been the mayor of anything in any of those. Was his name still Jared/Jasmine here? Did anyone have names, or were they the name of their Pokémon like in the show and the games? Every week it’s something new that I can’t explain. Whatever laws and intricacies he would have to deal with in this world, it was much preferable to being a sleazy fisherman’s selkie wife.

He wasn’t going to figure anything out by standing in the doorway of his house. There was a whole village for him to explore, one he was apparently the leader of. He hopped off the front porch, dusting the pads of his feet with the dirt of the road which fed life into the settlement. He trudged up the hill where the Meowth lady had gone, hearing the distant murmur of civilization on the other side of its crest. Only halfway there and he was made painfully aware of his arms’ immensity. His legs started to ache, and a sweat broke out across his brow. Geez. I think as the mayor I can afford a car or something. But they might not have cars. I don’t know, a carriage.

The focus on his fatigue was done upon reaching the hill’s summit where the rest of the village greeted him. Much unlike the secluded traffic circle where his home was, there thrived a community of Pokémon walking and talking about, living their lives and enjoying each other’s company. The road split into two avenues, each one lined on both ends by a strip of homes and businesses attended by busy Pokémon folk. A Machamp swept the patio in front of his store. A Flaaffy teacher herded her class of schoolchildren down the street. One Rhydon was leaning back against a house, chatting with his two friends, a Grovyle and an Infernape. They all possessed bipedal forms and acted like real people. From the few conversations he was close enough to hear, Jared could tell that they all spoke English like he did. Not sure what I expected. I guess I can’t shake the thought that Pokémon should just say their names.

One fellow, a Charmeleon carrying along a grocery bag, passed by and noticed the gormless Jared standing there. “Hey, Jared!” he said with a friendly wave before coming over.

Jared panicked a little. Oh God, I don’t know anyone’s name. How am I supposed to recognize anyone here? Jared gave a forced smile and waved back. “Hey there!”

The Charmeleon’s amiable smile faded once he got close to him. “You alright there? You look out of breath and you’re sweating.”

“Oh! Yeah, I’m fine. I just…” Jared played it off by pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. “Just need to walk up that hill more often, I guess.” He cringed on the inside. I probably walk it every day.

That only seemed to confuse him. “You didn’t fly?”

Jared came close to stuffing his face in with his palm. Dumbass! Of course you can fly! I saw that Pidgeot and it still didn’t cross my mind to try. “Ah! You know, it helps to work out the legs sometimes. Can’t rely on your wings all the time.”

Fortunately, the villager seemed to buy it. “Yeah! I guess you’re right. Are you headed back to the office?”

I’ll have to find out where that is. “Not yet. As a matter of fact, I’m just walking around town. Thought I’d… You know, see how everyone was doing.”

“Aw, well we appreciate it. Come around my place sometime and we’ll have dinner.”

Such a lovely suggestion made Jared’s gut twist. I still don’t know this guy’s name. Is he someone I know in another realm? Probably not. I don’t recognize his voice. “Of course. That sounds great. I’ll… have to take you up on that sometime. And repay you! By, uh… having dinner at my place.” Making promises already. I really am a politician here.

The Charmeleon beamed brightly and nodded. “Awesome! Just let me know. You know where to find me. See you later!” Then he trailed off, lugging his supplies with him.

Jared waved goodbye. No, I don’t know where to find you. “Yeah, see you later.” He rolled his jaw anxiously. If I’m going to make it a whole week, I’m going to have to learn how to fit in. He reminded himself that he wasn’t someone’s captive anymore and that fitting in here was not a matter of life and death, or so he hoped. The village lived on in front of him, a hive of individuals, families, friends and fiends meandering and milling through their allotments as casually and kindly as their temperaments would allow them. He was not only among them but one of them, their appointed leader whose job it was- at least in his eyes -to keep them happy and safe. For the rest of the week at least he was going to get to know them, but he wasn’t going to do that just standing around.

Jared took the first step into the street diverging on his right. He made a measly stroll, taking note of each house and whatever eccentric design it happened to have. There was a noticeable pattern of designs which resembled their inhabitants. Like how his house had a color scheme of white and blue to match his body, each home would have the colors of their particular Pokémon. A house owned by a family of Umbreon (whose children were still Eevees) would have a dark black façade with golden shutters and a matching chimney. Where a Warturtle lived the bricks were that recognizable shade of bubbly blue, its domed roof patterned like a turtle’s shell. Jared passed one house with cream colored façade and an amber brown roof. Just inside the windows he could see yellow and magenta curtains. He didn’t see the homeowner outside of it, but he was certain it belonged to that Pidgeot he’d seen flying earlier.

People greeted him along the way, waving and shouting his name. “Enjoying your own two feet this time, eh?” one Skuntank woman quipped.

Jared would wave and say hello back. “You know, can’t spend your whole life in the sky! Sometimes it feels good to walk!” he said back. It was becoming less and less true as his trip down the street went on. I’m not even all the way through town. How am I already this sore? With all the comments on his walking it became clear that his main mode of transportation had been flying. He was eager to flit back into the sky like when he was a sphinx, but whatever methods there were behind achieving that were very different here. Jared had two legs and wings for arms as a Lugia. The sphinx was something totally different with four legs and wings on the back. I’ll have to find someplace quiet to practice taking off. Don’t want to look like an idiot and mess up. He’d been able to launch himself off a balcony as a sphinx, but that had been in the safety of his own apartment. Better to risk his life in private than to risk embarrassing himself in public.

The street hit a bend, and the row of houses came to an end. Beyond the village limits was a precipitous plunge into a valley whose grassy swathes were dappled by the wandering clouds’ shadows. There was a small brick building which featured a small spire atop a bell tower. Jared approached the building with an inquisitive frown. Is this my office? The building stood out with its semi-modern architecture, uninspired by any Pokémon design. It could’ve been snatched right out of the human realm and placed here for all he knew.

While standing directly in front of the office the front door opened. Out came a Mightyena woman who promptly stopped once she saw Jared. “Oh! Sir, you’re back.”

Jared wondered, Who’s this? “Uh… Yeah! I am.” Someone who works with me?

She stood aside and opened the door further. “Did you forget something? Are you coming inside?”

So this is the office. This lady… Is she my secretary? “Um, no. I was just walking around town.” He stretched his legs nonchalantly, helping to ease some of the strain in his thighs. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a good walk.”

“Oh, well alright!” She stepped out and closed the door. “I’m headed home now. See you tomorrow, boss.” Then she sauntered down the street, her soft, graphite tail swaying behind her.

Jared watched her as she went and waited until she was gone to approach the office and walk inside. The interior was just as plain as the outside, exactly like he expected to find inside the average office building. A squat front desk greeted him, accompanied by a line of office chairs against the wall. On the desk was a brass call bell beside a nameplate that read TINA. There was a framed photo of the woman he’d just seen walking out. Well, that’s one name at least.

He wandered through the rest of the building, making a quick mental map of the place. His own office was small like the rest of it, featuring an oversized desk and a nameplate that said JARED. On the wall behind it was a panoramic image of what looked like the entire village population posing in front of the cliff with the valley behind them. Jared saw himself hovering above them, his wings outstretched in a flapping motion, a proud smile on his face. He stood up to it closely enough to see his somber reflection in the glass. No memory existed of taking this photo, and yet there he was as its prime focus. He started counting the number of folks in the picture, but lost count after 89. An entire village of Pokémon who depend on me, who call me their leader. It was a hell of a big leap from being a restaurant host. Tina even called me her boss. It’s all so surreal.

If he was going to be a mayor for a week, he would at least take the effort to memorize names and faces. In his office was a loaded bookshelf which held a roster of the entire village’s population. It contained the names and species of over 200 people, a great number of whom were marked as deceased, some as recently as half a year ago according to the date. People I knew personally, probably, but their names don’t ring a bell. He felt some level of guilt because of that, but he wouldn’t let it discourage him. He plopped his rear end in the seat of his leather chair and went to work memorizing every single name and species the town had to offer.

It was easier than expected, mostly thanks to the fact that every single resident had a name that was a play on their species. Tina was a Mightyena. -tyena, Tina. One resident Bulbasaur was named Bulba. A Pidgeot which Jared assumed was the one he’d seen flying earlier was named Pid. A Grovyle named Grover, a Skuntank named Skyler, and so on and so forth. So long as he could remember the name of the Pokemon, he had a good idea as to what the person’s name was.

He spent half an hour memorizing and quizzing himself on every single name until it had been drilled into the very core of his memory. A total of 121 people lived in the village, low enough for there to exist an interpersonal relationship between every single person. Jared new them all, and though he possessed no memory of them, he could at least identify them and perhaps befriend them for what would be the second time in that realm’s timeline.

The ledger fell shut with a heavy thump. He blew out his lips with a sigh before returning it to the shelf. Now what? Do I go out and introduce myself to people who already know me? I’ve just about seen the whole village. What else is there? He exited the office and was about to exit out the front entrance when he noticed a door in the opposite direction down the hall that he had neglected to look inside because the office had distracted him. Opening it revealed the building’s backyard and the yonder cliff and valley. A rush of warm air blew into Jared’s face, rippling his skin with gooseflesh. Seeing the open vastness, its rows of inclines feeding into the ridges which hugged the valley low so tightly, Jared felt a glimmer of instinct in his bones.

Without another thought he stepped the rest of the way outside, leaving the door open behind him. At the cliff’s edge he ignored the great drop that would’ve killed him had he fallen, instead mesmerized by nature’s infinite. His broad hands flexed open. The spines growing out of his back and tail buzzed like a restless limb. It’s calling to me. I have to fly. A deep breath swooped into his nose and made his chest swell before coming out as a relaxed sigh. Muscle memory. Always remember muscle memory. He stretched his arm-wings out, the fingers splayed like the feathers of a bird. In one motion he swung his arms up and bent his legs, and in the next he pushed off his feet and flapped hard.

Whooooooosh

A roaring in his ears. The ground leapt away from him with the G-forces pulling on his flesh and spines. The wind rushed past his wings and fur like a jet of cool water, bristling the flesh with a certain coziness that would’ve made him fall asleep without the effort and surge of adrenaline. For a moment he faltered. His eyes went wide from shock at how much air he’d gotten off that one flap. He looked down over his shoulder, and though he was not struck by the terror of height like any normal human would, the rapid shrink of the cliffside and the village made his throat clench.

“Holy shit!” he said aloud, his voice muffled by the roaring wind. On instinct he flapped again, and he made the correct decision to look straight forward to see where he was going. Nothing but blue skies and white clouds ahead. He climbed and climbed, finally breaching the bottom limits of the companion cumuli and then leveling out above their cotton peaks. His heart pounded in his chest and the tips of his fingers and toes had gone icy, but he droned through the air with ease. His legs were tucked into his butt and his tail was held at length. He looked right and then left. The wind made his fingers jitter. Below was the valley, its natural intricacies sprouting and winding about in a set of human-like features. The sun was high above, casting Jared’s shadow on the grass and dragging it along as he went. His heartbeat started to wane, and a smile crept up his face. “Holy shit,” he said again. This really beats the hell out of the selkie realm.

He flew on for many leagues, tracking the valley’s progress into the landscape and the many mountains which weaved their way to the horizon. Other settlements peeled into view, either atop hills like his own had been or in the valley’s crux. Other flying Pokémon joined him in the sky, flying in every which direction. None came close enough for him to say ‘hi’ to, but he could at least watch them soar past and wonder what business they had outside their own settlements, where they were going, who they were, what kind of life they led.

Eventually he decided to bank sharply and correct course back to his village. It materialized beneath him the way it must have several times now, but first in his experience. A slow spiral brought him down closer until finally he could bring his feet out beneath him and flap back to the Earth, the grass bowing away from him in a panic. A satisfied sigh escaped him. He rustled his body and strutted back through the office backdoor, making sure to close it this time. Passing his office, he thought about the ledger in which he’d memorized every name in the town. Suddenly it seemed like he didn’t need to do that anymore. With the sound of rushing wind still ringing in his ears, he was confident he wouldn’t have any problems being mayor.

Back out the front door he saw the village again. It was quieter now. The sun was setting, and shops were closing down. The few folk he did see elicited names in his head. I could probably walk back through the street and say goodnight, but that wouldn’t make much sense, now would it? In just one flap of the wings, he was back into the air. A steep climb fed into an even steeper dive. The streets rushed to meet him up to the moment he pulled up hard and came to level only a few feet above the rooftops. The citizens still outside saw his silhouette rush past them, his shadow barreling down the street and then down the hill. None gave much reaction, not because they weren’t impressed, but because seeing the mayor fly was like seeing the back of their hands. He was always there for them.

Jared slept like a corpse that night, all curled up in bed with his massive wing-hands folded over his head. He woke to the ring of his alarm clock which he slapped into silence. It had torn him from dreams of flight and freedom, though he remained unbothered as that awaited him in the day ahead. In another example of muscle memory he brushed through his morning routine, a segment of which included watching the morning news (where they were broadcasting from and how he got reception was a mystery, but not one he cared to investigate). From his front door he flitted into the air and made the brief flight to the office, performing yet another flyby of the village along the way and again failing to garner much of a reaction from those below.

Tina was waiting for him at the front desk once he burst through the front door. “So! What’s on the docket today?” he boomed.

A mildly startled Tina quickly checked a clipboard and rattled off Jared’s itinerary. He had braced for something complicated, or at least something technical that would’ve required the know-how of a seasoned politician. Instead, there was not much of anything to do besides showing his pretty face around town. That was the gist of everything Tina had listed for him. Check on the Feraligatr family and their new hatchling. See how repairs on the doctor’s building are doing. Etcetera, etcetera. It suddenly dawned on Jared that his duties as “mayor” were purely ceremonial. I suppose there’s not much to do in a village this small besides make sure everyone’s happy. I probably wasn’t even voted into this position. It was probably just given to me.

No matter the simplicity of his duties, Jared set about them with all the gusto he’d learned from his years as a restaurant host. Being a politician can be fun, he learned once the bright and smiling faces of his village would cordially greet him and tell them how their lives were. Everything was and could be taken care of by their own efforts and desires to help the community they were in. Jared, their figurehead, was there to ensure this cohesion and bolster morale. He felt something like a daycare professional, making sure everyone was doing OK and having fun.

His off time was spent flying and exploring more of the yonder valley and its other settlements. He permitted himself a few days away from the village so he could explore. This was after making sure it would be fine in his absence, which Tina assured him. He was excited to see how far his wings could take him, to encounter the many Pokémon the valley had to offer. As a Vaporeon he was restrained by the needs and territory of a wild animal, but here he was a free man, a free man with wings.

Alas, something tugged him back once he’d traveled too far. A paternal instinct to keep his village safe, a sense of betrayal that would carve at him the moment he landed somewhere else. He was lassoed to the place he called him and never strayed too far before landing back there again. His duties as mayor and friend were too important.

The week left him, and Leeland’s package arrived at his doorstep. Before anyone could see him, Jared picked it up and hurried inside with it. It took some effort to open the letter with his massive fingers, but eventually he got it open and read what Leland had to say.

Dear Jared,

I hope this letter finds you well, certainly much better than the hellhole you were in as a selkie. I trust you’re enjoying a Pokémon universe where you aren’t hounded by trainers? You’re much more respected here, aren’t you? Being a leader of Pokémon is much easier than that of humans as I’m sure you’ve found out by now. If only our civilization were so civilized.

I’ve brought you a new gift for whenever being a Lugia becomes boring, which I hope it hasn’t. This one will treat you better than the previous two trips, mistakes I promise not to make again. Until next time.

Sincerely,

Leland