I need to save my thumbnail somewhere I don't need to search for it every time I upload.
I've been thinking about writing a murder investigation for a while, so I figured I'd take a stab at a scene while the prompt fits it. I may try to turn this into a longer story if I get enough done on the main adventuring plot I want to work on, but it's going to need a lot of editing. Too many unnamed characters, and I haven't even given this a second pass yet so I'm worried that a bunch of it is heavy train of thought.
Also cameos
whose gnoll made it... a month, before getting murdered. Oops.
I keep forgetting to put that I'm up for any critique, don't worry, you'll *(nearly certainly) not insult me or anything
since I keep forgetting to link it.
I'm sure there's something else I'm forgetting. Until next time.
I've been thinking about writing a murder investigation for a while, so I figured I'd take a stab at a scene while the prompt fits it. I may try to turn this into a longer story if I get enough done on the main adventuring plot I want to work on, but it's going to need a lot of editing. Too many unnamed characters, and I haven't even given this a second pass yet so I'm worried that a bunch of it is heavy train of thought.
Also cameos
whose gnoll made it... a month, before getting murdered. Oops.I keep forgetting to put that I'm up for any critique, don't worry, you'll *(nearly certainly) not insult me or anything
since I keep forgetting to link it.I'm sure there's something else I'm forgetting. Until next time.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 7.3 kB
Poor gnoll! Getting murdered and all, and I feel bad for the snake being accused just because venom was involved. I'm hoping the real killer is caught!
As far as critique, I am no expert but I thought the story flowed pretty well. Something I noticed, and something that was said to me in the past was not to have too much repeating paragraph sentence structure which I had to figure out what that even meant lol. You have a lot of it, but honestly I didn't even notice until I saw you asked for critique so I went and looked at the story a second time.
Anyway! I'm no expert so take that with quite the grain of salt lol
As far as critique, I am no expert but I thought the story flowed pretty well. Something I noticed, and something that was said to me in the past was not to have too much repeating paragraph sentence structure which I had to figure out what that even meant lol. You have a lot of it, but honestly I didn't even notice until I saw you asked for critique so I went and looked at the story a second time.
Anyway! I'm no expert so take that with quite the grain of salt lol
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