In my first year at the academy, I had a lesson on ‘performance’
I really liked one guy who had no teeth. Because he was drunk and pissed on a HATOB, fell four metres down, and knocked out his teeth
I was very interested in how he kissed.
So, I liked him because he had very broad shoulders, I was 17, and I didn't often see guys my age with such shoulders

We had a performance together, it was his idea:
He was sitting on a chair with his eyes closed, and I was standing in front of him with a lighter, and when I lit it near his face, he opened his eyes and made a happy face

It hurt me because I liked him and he didn't like me
He used my feelings for an idea.