do you mean that that it isnt really hate in itself but instead the negative treatment causing negative treatment?

Yeah, kinda, there's no such thing as real (founded) hate because when you feel like hating on something/someone there's a whole other part of it we don't see.

hmm if ya dont mind me picking your brain here so to speak, on your end, whatcha think the whole other part we dont see is? if that makes sense

Well, like here, somebody might complain about 'aruh! There's a hole in this shirt!' but they don't know how hard the people and machines are working making it. I could meet a jerk on the sidewalk who flips me off but I don't know about his lousy childhood or his family problems.

It's like Fitzgerald said at the beginning of The Great Gatsby, "Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone ... just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had."
That's sorta the philosophy I live by.

ah thats very very fair. many times its easier said than done to even keep those kinds of things in mind day to day
it is a good way to be to not only think about your own issues going on but others as well. there have been many cartoons and animes, movies that tackle that aspect of character dynamics. one is called kiznaiver. where this group gets connected and if one person is hurt the group hurts

its a great thinker of an anime big time one of my favorites. the character growth and etc is great