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Story / General Furry Art
Species Dragon (Other)
Size 120 x 90
File Size 11.1 kB
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So I will have to say that I am not very happy with this one. I just wanted to get it done before my deadline. I will say that I plan on getting better and that this is just the beginning. Later chapters should be more interesting as the story progresses. Mad props to Wisty for the awesome critique on the prologue. Also, I hope that I left a good cliffhanger. As a great writer once said, "I enjoy making you squirm under my thumb." I don't, but I like to leave the reader wanting to read the next chapter. Anyways, enjoy.
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Dragon (Other)
Size 120 x 90px
File Size 11.1 kB
Hmmm, what can I say? The errors were fewer in this section, which was always a good thing; however, it seemed forced. Perhaps you should have let it come a bit more naturally, especially the dialogue.
Also, don't be afraid of descriiptions! Hehe, there were many opportunities here that you could have used to flesh out the story anf give it a concrete location; perhaps decribe the warm taste of blood, the chilly air, the dead silence as he approached his home - creat that atmosphere that the reader can get absorbed into. Also, great story so far, but chapter wise they can probably be even a tad bit longer, but that'll come as you expand on the surroundings and details. I have to say, I like it so far. :D
Final piece of advice (that's a personal preference)... Relax; enjoy what you're writing, and you'll find that it becomes much more fun to write! Hehe.
Also, don't be afraid of descriiptions! Hehe, there were many opportunities here that you could have used to flesh out the story anf give it a concrete location; perhaps decribe the warm taste of blood, the chilly air, the dead silence as he approached his home - creat that atmosphere that the reader can get absorbed into. Also, great story so far, but chapter wise they can probably be even a tad bit longer, but that'll come as you expand on the surroundings and details. I have to say, I like it so far. :D
Final piece of advice (that's a personal preference)... Relax; enjoy what you're writing, and you'll find that it becomes much more fun to write! Hehe.
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