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I want to say I am sorry that these are triggering and are painful for some folks to read. I can post them all with mature ratings if you'd prefer, or you can just note the title and not look at them. But these are cathartic for me to get out, and I hope the message they say gets to people who need to hear it.
Consider this a sunday edition. Every group has the folks that really need to feel morally superior and lecture people. This is not a Christian exclusive thing either as I've been lectured for all sorts of things for the sole purpose of someone's need to feel like they're 'helping' and 'a good person' by spouting some rhetoric that they don't even fully understand, but sounds lofty and morally superior.
I'd like to think God understands that my mother is mentally ill and hurts everyone around her, and thus is not safe for people to be around, especially me. Normally it would be my moral obligation to take care of her, but thanks to her I barely know how to take care of myself so I'm not really qualified anyway.
So those of you who are Christian like me who get lectured about how it's apparently Not Very Christian to not go back to an abusive situation time and time again... I'm pretty sure it's also not very Christian to poison a child's mental idea of what unconditional love is, too. Funny how nobody touches on that end of it though, I guess it's harder to be morally superior from that angle.
Also from a comic creator end, I'm enjoying sending the message out but actually hate this format where the self insert lectures the random strawman, but I'm making an exception because a message like this needs a simple delivery mechanism. But I just want you to know I wish I could turn these into more of a story format, I just don't have the time or the energy as I'm already working in Isla Aukate and Glory and have I mentioned I turned fifty this year? Aaaaaaugh...
Consider this a sunday edition. Every group has the folks that really need to feel morally superior and lecture people. This is not a Christian exclusive thing either as I've been lectured for all sorts of things for the sole purpose of someone's need to feel like they're 'helping' and 'a good person' by spouting some rhetoric that they don't even fully understand, but sounds lofty and morally superior.
I'd like to think God understands that my mother is mentally ill and hurts everyone around her, and thus is not safe for people to be around, especially me. Normally it would be my moral obligation to take care of her, but thanks to her I barely know how to take care of myself so I'm not really qualified anyway.
So those of you who are Christian like me who get lectured about how it's apparently Not Very Christian to not go back to an abusive situation time and time again... I'm pretty sure it's also not very Christian to poison a child's mental idea of what unconditional love is, too. Funny how nobody touches on that end of it though, I guess it's harder to be morally superior from that angle.
Also from a comic creator end, I'm enjoying sending the message out but actually hate this format where the self insert lectures the random strawman, but I'm making an exception because a message like this needs a simple delivery mechanism. But I just want you to know I wish I could turn these into more of a story format, I just don't have the time or the energy as I'm already working in Isla Aukate and Glory and have I mentioned I turned fifty this year? Aaaaaaugh...
Category All / All
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Size 703 x 1036px
File Size 276.6 kB
Listed in Folders
I know an artist friend, 
Krowsy, who is a very similar type of Christian. She was afraid I'd treat her like one of the evangelical cultists when I found out but I told her they ALL need to look to her as a role model. You are the same, Gen. And I for one am damn proud of you.
I know the difference between someone that follows the teachings of the Prince of Peace, and one who just uses him as a figurehead to justify their own hatred.
Krowsy, who is a very similar type of Christian. She was afraid I'd treat her like one of the evangelical cultists when I found out but I told her they ALL need to look to her as a role model. You are the same, Gen. And I for one am damn proud of you.I know the difference between someone that follows the teachings of the Prince of Peace, and one who just uses him as a figurehead to justify their own hatred.
Oh, that was brutally to the point Gen, I like it and how you approached it in the comic above. Don't know why it reminded me of this, but I remember Numerous times my mom told me that I resented her, when we fussed or argued. I finally got fed up and told her,
"I do not resent you. And I am fed up with you accusing me of it. If you claim that I resent you, ONE MORE TIME, I will SHOW YOU MY DEFFINITION OF RESENTMENT. For 48 hours, I will treat you with what I think is resentment, you go to work, once you leave my presence, that timer pauses until we are reunited, then it continues. "
She never made the accusation again. It was not the healthiest of relation ships we had our fussing and fighting, but she had genuine health issues, and given how I had issues growing up, and how she stuck through those hard tough times caring for me, when others would have put me on medications that would have zombified me, I did feel the need to care for her as much as possible. And I did, could I have done more, I am sure of it. But I did care for my mom.
I hope and prey that someday you and your mom can reconcile, somehow Gen.
"I do not resent you. And I am fed up with you accusing me of it. If you claim that I resent you, ONE MORE TIME, I will SHOW YOU MY DEFFINITION OF RESENTMENT. For 48 hours, I will treat you with what I think is resentment, you go to work, once you leave my presence, that timer pauses until we are reunited, then it continues. "
She never made the accusation again. It was not the healthiest of relation ships we had our fussing and fighting, but she had genuine health issues, and given how I had issues growing up, and how she stuck through those hard tough times caring for me, when others would have put me on medications that would have zombified me, I did feel the need to care for her as much as possible. And I did, could I have done more, I am sure of it. But I did care for my mom.
I hope and prey that someday you and your mom can reconcile, somehow Gen.
Reconciliation requires admitting wrongs done like beating me almost every morning for a decade because of a medical issue I had, or things like goading me to un-alive myself because she was mad at me. She's always put herself before her children which is why all of us have problems in one capacity or other. And when people note that she's old now, less than a year ago the wife of one of her sons tried to file a restraining order against her, so she's most assuredly still up to her tricks.
Reconciliation is a nice thought. It's also never going to happen. I think if someone put a gun to the head of one of her children and told her she could either admit she might have made a mistake once or twice in her life or the child would eat led... she'd rather bury the child. Pride's a sin for a reason.
Reconciliation is a nice thought. It's also never going to happen. I think if someone put a gun to the head of one of her children and told her she could either admit she might have made a mistake once or twice in her life or the child would eat led... she'd rather bury the child. Pride's a sin for a reason.
That, I understand. And Gen, I can only offer my sympathies, for you and what you went through. Forgiving, doesn't mean that you simply act as if nothing happened at all. Some say to forgive and forget, I never forget, because once someone hurts me, I may forgive them because (I Think) as it was said in the bible, How can you be forgiven, if you can't forgive others. Doesn't mean I am going to simply allow such things to happen again and again and again.
If the "strawman" represents actual people who've said these things to you, it feels like it works.
The change of expression here is telling, I like how it works.
It feels a little trite (especially here!), but my favourite response to this line of attack ends "overturning tables and chasing people with a whip is within the realm of possibilities."
The change of expression here is telling, I like how it works.
It feels a little trite (especially here!), but my favourite response to this line of attack ends "overturning tables and chasing people with a whip is within the realm of possibilities."
It was. I was told by someone that I need to forgive EVERYTHING and act like it doesn't matter because it's in the past and cited how he kept letting his father come back and rob him because that was apparently how forgiveness worked. I wonder if he would have said the same thing if his father molested his wife and children instead, but honestly I'm almost positive the whole story was a fabrication so the guy could hold the moral high ground (which was a bad take considering he was also my mother's preacher.)
One of my favorite verses is 1 Peter 5 vers 7 where it says: "while you throw all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you."
he WANTS you to talk to him and tell him your worries and problems, because he cares.
Following Him in that, caring and listening, that is the Christian thing to do.
he WANTS you to talk to him and tell him your worries and problems, because he cares.
Following Him in that, caring and listening, that is the Christian thing to do.
Growing up, I was very heavily bullied as a kid. I kept appealing to the teachers and staff, and they kept telling me the Christian thing to do is turn the other cheek and provide the bullies with a good example to follow.
Later on, of course, I learned they recognized my mother's heavy involvement with PTA and church functions meant she wouldn't pull out unless things got extreme, and that the other kids' parents would pull out if they got punished for bad behavior at school. And since it was a private school, everybody was paying to be there.
Eventually we did have me pulled out, though it was at least partially because after years and years of bullying, I was told to turn the other cheek, and replied that I was sick of turning black-and-blue from being struck too many times. And I also politely reminded them that "What would Jesus do?" is a question where "Whip off my belt and beat seven shades of shit out of everybody present" is, in fact, a valid answer.
Learning to stand up to my bullies is one of the reasons why mom would end up fighting me so often; she'd provoke me, and try to play victim, just like so many of my other bullies. A person choosing violence and hurting others at every step may be worthy of forgiveness, but that forgiveness doesn't mean opening yourself up for further harm. It means not seeking to harm them back, and that can very healthily be done by simply cutting ties and refusing to involve them any more.
There are consequences to poor behavior. Sometimes those consequences are not having permission to be friends with someone really cool and awesome you look up to. And sometimes that person is your own kid.
Later on, of course, I learned they recognized my mother's heavy involvement with PTA and church functions meant she wouldn't pull out unless things got extreme, and that the other kids' parents would pull out if they got punished for bad behavior at school. And since it was a private school, everybody was paying to be there.
Eventually we did have me pulled out, though it was at least partially because after years and years of bullying, I was told to turn the other cheek, and replied that I was sick of turning black-and-blue from being struck too many times. And I also politely reminded them that "What would Jesus do?" is a question where "Whip off my belt and beat seven shades of shit out of everybody present" is, in fact, a valid answer.
Learning to stand up to my bullies is one of the reasons why mom would end up fighting me so often; she'd provoke me, and try to play victim, just like so many of my other bullies. A person choosing violence and hurting others at every step may be worthy of forgiveness, but that forgiveness doesn't mean opening yourself up for further harm. It means not seeking to harm them back, and that can very healthily be done by simply cutting ties and refusing to involve them any more.
There are consequences to poor behavior. Sometimes those consequences are not having permission to be friends with someone really cool and awesome you look up to. And sometimes that person is your own kid.
We deal with that a lot in our family both my brother (who told me I should abort my child) and my Sister in law ( who uses her daughter to control us out of fear we don't lose contact.) You have all rights to cut ties. We did with my brother and are going to with my sister in law. People haw no idea have messed up and stressful it makes your own life. I have not seen my niece in months even though we are close
Thank you for sharing these. I am thankful every day that I had a good childhood, and it occurs to me more and more that these days so many people prefer to feel the victim or spout platitudes than to put in the work and make themselves better. I don't think people that do what your mom did deserve forgiveness or that they'd benefit from it if you gave it to them. I'm glad you got away from that and I think that these comics definitely need to be said.
Too many Christians equate forgiveness with trust. Just because you've forgiven someone doesn't mean that you allow them to hurt you again or that you don't try to prevent others from being hurt or, as in your case, you don't mince words when it comes to empathizing and warning others about the possibility of them also being hurt. Forgiveness is not silence or trust. It is allowing yourself to move on after the hurt by allowing God to handle the responsibility of their sin. For Christians, it is acknowledging that Christ's atonement does apply to them, so that you don't have to continue to try to bear that weight on your own shoulders.
Personally I appreciate what you’ve been sharing. Too many people see only one side rather than the whole issue and these comics really drive home that some people are just ignorant or just willfully ignore the truth for their own benefit. I’m also glad you’ve come so far after such messed up experiences.
One of my former classmates (I finally graduated from college in 1995) was frequently told by her mother and grandmother that her life was miserable because God hated her. Her parent/grandparent were 'told' bu the Deity to punish her regularly. When does a lame excuse become a rationalization for awful behavior?
Forgiving others who done you wrong sets you free of what that person did in the past—sets “You” free of the person who done you wrong…
Meanwhile the other person is now God’s problem
And he always handles his problems accordingly
I learned that one myself on both ends
:)
Meanwhile the other person is now God’s problem
And he always handles his problems accordingly
I learned that one myself on both ends
:)
Just want to shout out a "Hear, hear!" for how excellent this one is.
I think the reason people go to the victim is because ... it's easier. They're usually the safer (and more easily moldable) one to approach. The one who's learned to just do what they're told. Who finds it hard to say 'no' when someone tells them something.
I also feel some people just don't have a concept of how bad things can actually be. Like, you tell them what happened, and they have some base, core feeling that "That's not possible." That people "Can't actually be that bad."
I think the reason people go to the victim is because ... it's easier. They're usually the safer (and more easily moldable) one to approach. The one who's learned to just do what they're told. Who finds it hard to say 'no' when someone tells them something.
I also feel some people just don't have a concept of how bad things can actually be. Like, you tell them what happened, and they have some base, core feeling that "That's not possible." That people "Can't actually be that bad."
Never says anywhere to be a doormat for anyone.
I have a beyond nuts abusive sister.
I was forced to deal with her till I was on my own and said no more.
Not doing it. I don't haft to do it.
I did it to keep the peace with my folks.
When we was all around each other.
Sadly it turned all the holidays into hellidays.
I do not hate her. But I am not going to go looking for her either.
If she showed up I would be nice. But also not taking any crap.
I also do not sit around thinking about her.
So the forgiveness is more for the person not the one doing it.
It is for peace of heart that when you remember something you are not all upset with rage and hate over them.
I have a beyond nuts abusive sister.
I was forced to deal with her till I was on my own and said no more.
Not doing it. I don't haft to do it.
I did it to keep the peace with my folks.
When we was all around each other.
Sadly it turned all the holidays into hellidays.
I do not hate her. But I am not going to go looking for her either.
If she showed up I would be nice. But also not taking any crap.
I also do not sit around thinking about her.
So the forgiveness is more for the person not the one doing it.
It is for peace of heart that when you remember something you are not all upset with rage and hate over them.
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