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Somewhere over the Reindeer
..Blue birds fly
̶A̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶
̶O̶h̶ ̶w̶h̶y̶,̶ ̶o̶h̶ ̶w̶h̶y̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶I̶.̶.̶ ̶I̶,̶I̶!̶
Alright, I am finishing another YCH, but first quick clumsy silly sketch and news exchange, I think I need to share time by time something with other people, like my psychotherapist advised (she meant that not only talking to friends but being open to other type of communications, quick talk with mutuals / watchers and so on)
I am not used to it, but this year holds for me many new things.
For example what do you think about my sona with short hair? I personally think I look now even more alike my dad, lol. In his early 20s
Also got injured recently
or rather, I was hit by a kitchen unit that I didn't hang on the wall properly. I'm not badly hurt, but I have a bruise on my temple and above my eye because of the angle. It could have been worse, so I'm not worried. Better me than poor Rendezvous anyway, sadly other acquaintances can't help me due to their daily job. My friends would help me, but they all are aboard now(.
Breaks my heart to see they also suffer to see me like this(
It's even funny (if it can be funny) how often I suffer on my eye, a few years ago I had a huge chalazion that tormented me a lot. A few years ago I had vestibular neuritis, after which my facial muscles remained immobile for a long time and one of my eyes would not open properly. Thanks god I can at least see now after the hit.
I often had health troubles earlier (diabetes related) but now I also lost access to my old insulin and to all decent insulin in general, I tried two types so far and it's obvious my body refuse to functioning well with it, previous year was bad, but current one scares me, I got surgery and another one is ahead in a year or two (a polyp reduction)
I'm afraid there's a connection (with change of insulin type) that my body has started growing tumors, but thank God they're benign ones. Still scary(
Hope it won't get worse. I am tired of hospital visits this year.
Most of these visits were also lonely ones since the only close friend suddenly started treated me in only two mods /snap on me/ being supper irritated or ignoring me like 80% of the time almost whole year.
I still don't know what happens, most likely they have their own huge problems they don't want share with me, but idk. Being a jerk is being a jerk regardless your circumstances, as an old close friend I was hoping... not for much really, but at least for a some freedom of rudeness or a few words of support while I am in trouble.
I'll never know what happened, I think
thou I understand there is my fault too, uh( In many things.
Only once I called out for their harsh words and they did not take it well. Thou I don't know what to do, I am tired of tolerating rudeness over and over again this year. Maybe I should have stood up for myself when it's only started, but I was scared that they are depressed and a serious talk will only get them angrier / sadder. Did not know what to do really.
They avoiding me now without even clear declaration of ending of relationships that lasted a half of out lives. Feels real bad how cheap our friendship turned out to be then and how many promises they made in the past in which I sadly believed.
Can't say more since it's already is oversharing actually.
Maybe if their sickly friend is such a trouble that not even worse of waste a few seconds for texting "hang in there" or "do you need help" or something than it's better to put it all at end.
I will most likely getting more and more sick over the years if I will not return to my original insulin, so(
But I am trying not to get bitter. Will try to hold onto best of our times in the past and be grateful for what we had before this terrible year.
Did you have a similar situations - what was your friends problems or excuses to act like this?
I believe one of the main reasons is emotional immaturity,
when you are avoiding to sort out tensions and issues that sadly can be in any relationship - than it's collecting and grow until it explodes and then such persons play a card that said "I am tired from conflicts, I ignored them all the time before and I can't see connection with the situation we are getting into - can we avoiding sorting out conflicts further, I am already feel bad and you are to blame to make me feel even more bad for making solve this problem I am a part of! I am a victim now because when you said my actions offended you - you offended me, so I will dramatically sulk now"
That does not mean that friend of mine act like that I just described the behavior I saw on other immature people (all 20 and even 25+ thou -_- )
Such persons not only not understanding needs of others, but also they usually don't understand their owns so it's a very huge problem really what is even way beyond just to act childishly time by time, it's almost similar to some personalities disorders.
Not pretending being emotionally mature myself, but.. well.
Well sorry if this too much I actually just wanted to talk I think - if you want to share something as well, don't be shy
Thank you for reading this. I am not used of sharing so many things with watchers but.. well let's see how it will work
I am also planing to share how my process of PTSD healing is going, will draw comics even then
Также можете рассказать как вы решаете проблему с инсулином 👀
̶A̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶
̶O̶h̶ ̶w̶h̶y̶,̶ ̶o̶h̶ ̶w̶h̶y̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶I̶.̶.̶ ̶I̶,̶I̶!̶
Alright, I am finishing another YCH, but first quick clumsy silly sketch and news exchange, I think I need to share time by time something with other people, like my psychotherapist advised (she meant that not only talking to friends but being open to other type of communications, quick talk with mutuals / watchers and so on)
I am not used to it, but this year holds for me many new things.
For example what do you think about my sona with short hair? I personally think I look now even more alike my dad, lol. In his early 20s
Also got injured recently
or rather, I was hit by a kitchen unit that I didn't hang on the wall properly. I'm not badly hurt, but I have a bruise on my temple and above my eye because of the angle. It could have been worse, so I'm not worried. Better me than poor Rendezvous anyway, sadly other acquaintances can't help me due to their daily job. My friends would help me, but they all are aboard now(.
Breaks my heart to see they also suffer to see me like this(
It's even funny (if it can be funny) how often I suffer on my eye, a few years ago I had a huge chalazion that tormented me a lot. A few years ago I had vestibular neuritis, after which my facial muscles remained immobile for a long time and one of my eyes would not open properly. Thanks god I can at least see now after the hit.
I often had health troubles earlier (diabetes related) but now I also lost access to my old insulin and to all decent insulin in general, I tried two types so far and it's obvious my body refuse to functioning well with it, previous year was bad, but current one scares me, I got surgery and another one is ahead in a year or two (a polyp reduction)
I'm afraid there's a connection (with change of insulin type) that my body has started growing tumors, but thank God they're benign ones. Still scary(
Hope it won't get worse. I am tired of hospital visits this year.
Most of these visits were also lonely ones since the only close friend suddenly started treated me in only two mods /snap on me/ being supper irritated or ignoring me like 80% of the time almost whole year.
I still don't know what happens, most likely they have their own huge problems they don't want share with me, but idk. Being a jerk is being a jerk regardless your circumstances, as an old close friend I was hoping... not for much really, but at least for a some freedom of rudeness or a few words of support while I am in trouble.
I'll never know what happened, I think
thou I understand there is my fault too, uh( In many things.
Only once I called out for their harsh words and they did not take it well. Thou I don't know what to do, I am tired of tolerating rudeness over and over again this year. Maybe I should have stood up for myself when it's only started, but I was scared that they are depressed and a serious talk will only get them angrier / sadder. Did not know what to do really.
They avoiding me now without even clear declaration of ending of relationships that lasted a half of out lives. Feels real bad how cheap our friendship turned out to be then and how many promises they made in the past in which I sadly believed.
Can't say more since it's already is oversharing actually.
Maybe if their sickly friend is such a trouble that not even worse of waste a few seconds for texting "hang in there" or "do you need help" or something than it's better to put it all at end.
I will most likely getting more and more sick over the years if I will not return to my original insulin, so(
But I am trying not to get bitter. Will try to hold onto best of our times in the past and be grateful for what we had before this terrible year.
Did you have a similar situations - what was your friends problems or excuses to act like this?
I believe one of the main reasons is emotional immaturity,
when you are avoiding to sort out tensions and issues that sadly can be in any relationship - than it's collecting and grow until it explodes and then such persons play a card that said "I am tired from conflicts, I ignored them all the time before and I can't see connection with the situation we are getting into - can we avoiding sorting out conflicts further, I am already feel bad and you are to blame to make me feel even more bad for making solve this problem I am a part of! I am a victim now because when you said my actions offended you - you offended me, so I will dramatically sulk now"
That does not mean that friend of mine act like that I just described the behavior I saw on other immature people (all 20 and even 25+ thou -_- )
Such persons not only not understanding needs of others, but also they usually don't understand their owns so it's a very huge problem really what is even way beyond just to act childishly time by time, it's almost similar to some personalities disorders.
Not pretending being emotionally mature myself, but.. well.
Well sorry if this too much I actually just wanted to talk I think - if you want to share something as well, don't be shy
Thank you for reading this. I am not used of sharing so many things with watchers but.. well let's see how it will work
I am also planing to share how my process of PTSD healing is going, will draw comics even then
Также можете рассказать как вы решаете проблему с инсулином 👀
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There is so much to say, but for me it is currently hard to process everything or make very long texts due to my current mental issues, but I would be very glad to talk and support you as much as you want!
First off, I love your reindeer with short hair, but I am biased since Lolla has short hair too :p I love so much your sketches there are so full of life and I do wonder if one day I shouldn't get something similar for Lolla to show what is going on in my head/life ha. Sadly I do not have your skills and creativity, not the patience/time/motivation to learn.
I am very sorry and genuinely scared to read about all your current health. Mine are nothing compared to you and I really hope all the appointments and surgeries will help you to recover as much as possible!
I support very much what your therapist said and if at any point you want to talk about your health, past or anything that'd help you through private talks first, I can lend you a ear.
And finally about your friend, it is difficult to judge from an exterior point of view. They may have issues themselves, they may lack maturity, they may just misunderstand you. Hard to exactly tell. I try nowadays to be around wholesome people that understand me and that I can understand (and help eachother), because this is important for mental health. During hard times, it's sadly when you learn who are your true friends. I wish I could be closer to provide you support in any way, and just friendly interactions, but such is life and I do not plan to move out given I have a very stable job I should love and soon a cozy flat.
The most important is to take of yourself and don't be sorry to vent. It's important to think a bit about oneself at times, and being healthy is the best to help others! Thank you a lot Taski for all!
First off, I love your reindeer with short hair, but I am biased since Lolla has short hair too :p I love so much your sketches there are so full of life and I do wonder if one day I shouldn't get something similar for Lolla to show what is going on in my head/life ha. Sadly I do not have your skills and creativity, not the patience/time/motivation to learn.
I am very sorry and genuinely scared to read about all your current health. Mine are nothing compared to you and I really hope all the appointments and surgeries will help you to recover as much as possible!
I support very much what your therapist said and if at any point you want to talk about your health, past or anything that'd help you through private talks first, I can lend you a ear.
And finally about your friend, it is difficult to judge from an exterior point of view. They may have issues themselves, they may lack maturity, they may just misunderstand you. Hard to exactly tell. I try nowadays to be around wholesome people that understand me and that I can understand (and help eachother), because this is important for mental health. During hard times, it's sadly when you learn who are your true friends. I wish I could be closer to provide you support in any way, and just friendly interactions, but such is life and I do not plan to move out given I have a very stable job I should love and soon a cozy flat.
The most important is to take of yourself and don't be sorry to vent. It's important to think a bit about oneself at times, and being healthy is the best to help others! Thank you a lot Taski for all!
Hi Lelo, first of all please take care, if you see you struggle to process then please really I respect your limits and fell for your state( So you can just - leave a comment that you noticed the picture and description but it's hard to leave a proper feedback during this time / comment only on part that you are comfortable / vibing / not commenting at all actually, I would understand as well as you are not obligated to do anything here, do anything only if really willing to 🙏💛
I'll try my best with my health and also will hope for the best, thank you for your support and concern, your health is no less matter as itself, don't compare it to others, it's all important <3
Also refused for a long time to accept that advice of my therapist,
but the more I think of it, the more sense I see in it, I am really too closeted, open only to old close friends and so I lack new experience which is not good for many reasons, I will continue to be more open to watchers / mutuals. Maybe become friends with someone even, woah
Thank you for your feedback about my friend situation as well, all what mentioned could be true
Oneday I'll visit Germany for sure and I hope I could visit France as well, it should be unique experience as well it will make our meet possible (damn, I am very socially clumsy and rather shy with new people but it won't stop me if I'll have opportunity)
Wish you luck with cozy flat and take care of yourself as well, I hope you keep getting better
I'll try my best with my health and also will hope for the best, thank you for your support and concern, your health is no less matter as itself, don't compare it to others, it's all important <3
Also refused for a long time to accept that advice of my therapist,
but the more I think of it, the more sense I see in it, I am really too closeted, open only to old close friends and so I lack new experience which is not good for many reasons, I will continue to be more open to watchers / mutuals. Maybe become friends with someone even, woah
Thank you for your feedback about my friend situation as well, all what mentioned could be true
Oneday I'll visit Germany for sure and I hope I could visit France as well, it should be unique experience as well it will make our meet possible (damn, I am very socially clumsy and rather shy with new people but it won't stop me if I'll have opportunity)
Wish you luck with cozy flat and take care of yourself as well, I hope you keep getting better
With or without braid we will love just the same, I'll also continue to support you with insuline trying to find another delivery methods dammit
and about your situation
You are knocking to the deaf door, Guru :/
Take care of yourself you are loosing yourself into other people's problems while they are not always let you decide them and it's ok actually
As a former jerk I will also say that there is no excuses being a jerk like EVER especially with friends especially with friends like you if they cant hold themselves back to not saying something rude - it's their problem, not yours, whatever their problems rooted it's their responsibility to work on themselves as an adult - if they don't.. your ways parted and it's for the best
I was a jerk because I was rotten coward, period. I changed. Hate myself for my past.
we are all tired to see how struggle you are to reach someone who seem to not care about you. No excuses. mental health, circumstances etc. - you are also mentally ill
(PTSD with your backstory is not a joke) and also tired from everything and from war, war took many things from you - your health is threatened, your friends left. Your sick and lonely. You deserve compassion and support as well, they are not the only poor human in the world who is affected.
Maybe one day the will start a talk maybe not, you will survive either way. There is always mutual fault from both sides in conflicts / misunderstandings but it can not be revealed without mutual desire to talk, they don't wanna - it's their life, that's ok. Don't value yourself by their decisions or lack of decisions. Situations like this always show who your true friends are anyway.
If your country would be friendlier to mine I would take a risk to visit but I will not dare you know what I mean( I would help any darn way I can with your fckn kitchen how this cupboard (it was smth like cupboard, huh? HUH?!) even dare to bump you oh daarn
Take care and move on ☘️
and about your situation
You are knocking to the deaf door, Guru :/
Take care of yourself you are loosing yourself into other people's problems while they are not always let you decide them and it's ok actually
As a former jerk I will also say that there is no excuses being a jerk like EVER especially with friends especially with friends like you if they cant hold themselves back to not saying something rude - it's their problem, not yours, whatever their problems rooted it's their responsibility to work on themselves as an adult - if they don't.. your ways parted and it's for the best
I was a jerk because I was rotten coward, period. I changed. Hate myself for my past.
we are all tired to see how struggle you are to reach someone who seem to not care about you. No excuses. mental health, circumstances etc. - you are also mentally ill
(PTSD with your backstory is not a joke) and also tired from everything and from war, war took many things from you - your health is threatened, your friends left. Your sick and lonely. You deserve compassion and support as well, they are not the only poor human in the world who is affected.
Maybe one day the will start a talk maybe not, you will survive either way. There is always mutual fault from both sides in conflicts / misunderstandings but it can not be revealed without mutual desire to talk, they don't wanna - it's their life, that's ok. Don't value yourself by their decisions or lack of decisions. Situations like this always show who your true friends are anyway.
If your country would be friendlier to mine I would take a risk to visit but I will not dare you know what I mean( I would help any darn way I can with your fckn kitchen how this cupboard (it was smth like cupboard, huh? HUH?!) even dare to bump you oh daarn
Take care and move on ☘️
let you solve* you meant not decide?
Anyway I got you, Shary. Don't beat up yourself too much about your past, I treat you with understanding
Thank you also for all understanding you always provide to me and for sharing your opinion
I am just kinda scared others can oneday do similar thing, got extra closeted / rude and forget about me/mistreat me. Out of nowhere (from my perspective at least). And what is worst - refuse to reviled / solve what happened.
I am also afraid that there is lots of my fault that I would like to know about to work on myself, but I'll never know. Many fears, including to be left alone with no close friends in the area but that's already happened anyway, so i just have to face it( What I fear is already pretty much happen *sighs*
Most likely like in stories where protag trying to break the prophecy scenario, they just became a main part of it's too happen. uh oh(
Don't scold the kitchen hahaha, I survive that's the only important thing I am just still very bad with work with furniture heh
Thank you once again 💛 I know you guys would like to help but you are far away( I'll visit you and your family oneday thou
Anyway I got you, Shary. Don't beat up yourself too much about your past, I treat you with understanding
Thank you also for all understanding you always provide to me and for sharing your opinion
I am just kinda scared others can oneday do similar thing, got extra closeted / rude and forget about me/mistreat me. Out of nowhere (from my perspective at least). And what is worst - refuse to reviled / solve what happened.
I am also afraid that there is lots of my fault that I would like to know about to work on myself, but I'll never know. Many fears, including to be left alone with no close friends in the area but that's already happened anyway, so i just have to face it( What I fear is already pretty much happen *sighs*
Most likely like in stories where protag trying to break the prophecy scenario, they just became a main part of it's too happen. uh oh(
Don't scold the kitchen hahaha, I survive that's the only important thing I am just still very bad with work with furniture heh
Thank you once again 💛 I know you guys would like to help but you are far away( I'll visit you and your family oneday thou
Always mistaking (Mista King!) these words, yeeeah sorry ^^'
and don't worry too much, each person is different, and this person well.. you know. I know too much details and saying it out loud publicly is not ok yet I'll just that always take grunges on people for things they doing themselves to others constantly is.. well weird ^^'
and so many "rules", like not to speak to them in specific time of day, not mentioning it, not talking that, or they will get it personally and offended, you are always there for them but they are care for only if there in the right mood and you should wait for them being in mood or they will be neglect / rude to you
wtf,
oh my,
i am tired just to texting that. That's pretty much red flags, it takes roots to their mental problems partially, but once again it's only their responsibility to work on themselves especially on things that can be a problem for their relationships on others. Look at this situation as someone distant, you would recommend to stop this I believe so practice what you preach
If they doing it i does not others will do it to you as well, shhhuuush
I am sure there is your fault as well, of course because everyone other you only human after all and of course you are making mistakes (especially whrn you distressed) but true friend will give a chance for a talk at least especially to an old friend who proved yourself so many times. If they are ready to forget all of this weeeelllll
Take care, Guru. Take. Care. ☘️
I am always there id you need something.
and don't worry too much, each person is different, and this person well.. you know. I know too much details and saying it out loud publicly is not ok yet I'll just that always take grunges on people for things they doing themselves to others constantly is.. well weird ^^'
and so many "rules", like not to speak to them in specific time of day, not mentioning it, not talking that, or they will get it personally and offended, you are always there for them but they are care for only if there in the right mood and you should wait for them being in mood or they will be neglect / rude to you
wtf,
oh my,
i am tired just to texting that. That's pretty much red flags, it takes roots to their mental problems partially, but once again it's only their responsibility to work on themselves especially on things that can be a problem for their relationships on others. Look at this situation as someone distant, you would recommend to stop this I believe so practice what you preach
If they doing it i does not others will do it to you as well, shhhuuush
I am sure there is your fault as well, of course because everyone other you only human after all and of course you are making mistakes (especially whrn you distressed) but true friend will give a chance for a talk at least especially to an old friend who proved yourself so many times. If they are ready to forget all of this weeeelllll
Take care, Guru. Take. Care. ☘️
I am always there id you need something.
i think short hair looks very nice and Cute.
well read it all and is very hard topic to answer correctly realy. As someone with diabetes type 2 i can't really say much because my problems are lesser than yours ;/ Realy hope you can get your correct meds as you need them. wish world be better for us but well it is not ;/
about your friends it's hard topic my best Friend did have problem too in the end she got betrayed and lost her friends. the best way to know is just to find one more talkative frien and talk with them what is going on. dunno if this will help but worth a try. Or try to find new Friends that will be open and honest with you.
normaly i will Recoment to contact with a psychologist because they realy can help if you get the right one. but i know that might be unpleasant or discouraging. But true is that Random ppl Rarely Can help, Even friends or family can fail in that so profesional help might be the best in that. it Did Help my friend so might be worth a shot.
In the end personaly i realy wish you the best Taski and if you need a talk my Discord DM's are open for you and i'm sure not only my.
well read it all and is very hard topic to answer correctly realy. As someone with diabetes type 2 i can't really say much because my problems are lesser than yours ;/ Realy hope you can get your correct meds as you need them. wish world be better for us but well it is not ;/
about your friends it's hard topic my best Friend did have problem too in the end she got betrayed and lost her friends. the best way to know is just to find one more talkative frien and talk with them what is going on. dunno if this will help but worth a try. Or try to find new Friends that will be open and honest with you.
normaly i will Recoment to contact with a psychologist because they realy can help if you get the right one. but i know that might be unpleasant or discouraging. But true is that Random ppl Rarely Can help, Even friends or family can fail in that so profesional help might be the best in that. it Did Help my friend so might be worth a shot.
In the end personaly i realy wish you the best Taski and if you need a talk my Discord DM's are open for you and i'm sure not only my.
Thank you so much for stopping by and a give a feedback, Stenu, I really appreciate it!
And yeah, diabetes type 1 here( Diabetes type 3 is not much better thou, I am really sorry to hear you have to deal with it( I hope you acces to goos quolity meds, I sadly don't know how specific the situation in Poland with this kind of meds
Your advice resonates with me, I talked to a couple of friends who are aware about the person and the situation but I am always have mixed feelings
like of course I just want understanding/advise but I also feel like I am worsening their opinion about the person I am complaining about (since they know them irl) and so somehow talking to ones who don't know this friend of mine in person is.. easier, Idk. I am always ashamed to some degree when I vent (well most of the time, I don't know why, maybe because I have a general problem with feeling shame too often)
And yes finding new friends will be my quest once I recovered from this situation, I hope I am not too old for this
Advice about psychologist is also good one, I am fully agreed, I have sessions with psychotherapist but they are PTSD centered, most likely for this specific topic I have to initiate a new session. Sorry to hear about your friend got betrayed, she seems went through a lot( I hope she is way better now, at least surrounded by good supportive friends now.
Thank you once again, your feedback means a lot! 💛
And yeah, diabetes type 1 here( Diabetes type 3 is not much better thou, I am really sorry to hear you have to deal with it( I hope you acces to goos quolity meds, I sadly don't know how specific the situation in Poland with this kind of meds
Your advice resonates with me, I talked to a couple of friends who are aware about the person and the situation but I am always have mixed feelings
like of course I just want understanding/advise but I also feel like I am worsening their opinion about the person I am complaining about (since they know them irl) and so somehow talking to ones who don't know this friend of mine in person is.. easier, Idk. I am always ashamed to some degree when I vent (well most of the time, I don't know why, maybe because I have a general problem with feeling shame too often)
And yes finding new friends will be my quest once I recovered from this situation, I hope I am not too old for this
Advice about psychologist is also good one, I am fully agreed, I have sessions with psychotherapist but they are PTSD centered, most likely for this specific topic I have to initiate a new session. Sorry to hear about your friend got betrayed, she seems went through a lot( I hope she is way better now, at least surrounded by good supportive friends now.
Thank you once again, your feedback means a lot! 💛
Wow.....that's alot exposed here I wasn't expecting.
You mentioned before thinking of losing the braid, me personally loved that look, gave you character. However, especially seeing the 'Framed you' , I also can see that as well. Advantages is easier to maintain, less drying time, less likely to snag on things accidentally. I guess I'll have to start learning to draw the little 'Bou with short hair. (I'm not going to pull a Sheldon seeing Amy suddenly with short hair, or earlier seeing Penny with short hair and freaking out....You know the reference.)
I was unaware you were diabetic, I'm sorry you are going through this. Knowing a few folks who are, its scary for them, especially with the insulin. So why is it you are unable to access your old insulin or a better type? Makes no sense. I feel helpless in this case, I wish I could ship you the stuff you need, but I have doubts it would get to you via mail. That and your current Tsar being still the ever asshole mucking things up. And my country blockading all mail shipments to Russia, Belarus and oddly Ukraine. (and North Korea, but then again, that nation is an utter mess thanks to their lunatic leadership since the 1950s.) I was still checking on shipments to Russia as of last week, negative.
I hear you on the tumors, been getting those as well popping up. Mainly thanks to the rheumatoid arthritis drugs I'm on myself . Damn things are showing up on my drawing hand especially , had one on my right thumb that was so huge, it made my thumb look 9 months pregnant. I had that surgically removed back in late February along with one on the ring finger. Now getting one popping up on my right index finger right at the joint/pad of the finger. Its big enough to act as a fleshy fidget stone. Plus had a mystery lump removed from my neck on Tuesday. Even the doctor was unsure what it was, the lab will dissect it and notify me what it was. But having lung issues, battling pneumonia, and some other nasty bug. Now likely brought on by black mold that was discovered within the drywall in my bathroom thanks to my upstairs neighbors plumbing leaking for months. I have to wait another 8-10 days before the contractors can rip out and replace the damaged wall and ceiling, AFTER the plumbing is fixed first. Black mold is not fun!!
But on the friend suddenly turning on you, for no real apparent reason, that alone is worry some and stressful, especially when one has known them a very long time. Its hurtful both mentally and emotionally. I'd give you a huge hug right now if I was able. And a shoulder to cry on if needed. I myself have had friends suddenly "Go weird" on me in the past, and its not only traumatic , but heart breaking as well. You feel a great disturbance in the force. This alone seriously bothers me greatly. You shouldn't have to also beat yourself up with Woulda, coulda, shoulda's. I pray this gets resolved and you see happiness again.
And on getting bruised by a kitchen appliance, What fell on you? You poor girl, that's not fun. And yes, could have been far worse, like hitting you directly in the eye. If people question what happened, tell them you stopped a mugging and head butted the villain directly (hey, its a reindeer thing!). Makes a great story and of awe. Could be worse, you could have been attacked by Ikea furniture.
And in the immortal words of Spock, from Star Trek 2, "I am and always shall be your friend."
You mentioned before thinking of losing the braid, me personally loved that look, gave you character. However, especially seeing the 'Framed you' , I also can see that as well. Advantages is easier to maintain, less drying time, less likely to snag on things accidentally. I guess I'll have to start learning to draw the little 'Bou with short hair. (I'm not going to pull a Sheldon seeing Amy suddenly with short hair, or earlier seeing Penny with short hair and freaking out....You know the reference.)
I was unaware you were diabetic, I'm sorry you are going through this. Knowing a few folks who are, its scary for them, especially with the insulin. So why is it you are unable to access your old insulin or a better type? Makes no sense. I feel helpless in this case, I wish I could ship you the stuff you need, but I have doubts it would get to you via mail. That and your current Tsar being still the ever asshole mucking things up. And my country blockading all mail shipments to Russia, Belarus and oddly Ukraine. (and North Korea, but then again, that nation is an utter mess thanks to their lunatic leadership since the 1950s.) I was still checking on shipments to Russia as of last week, negative.
I hear you on the tumors, been getting those as well popping up. Mainly thanks to the rheumatoid arthritis drugs I'm on myself . Damn things are showing up on my drawing hand especially , had one on my right thumb that was so huge, it made my thumb look 9 months pregnant. I had that surgically removed back in late February along with one on the ring finger. Now getting one popping up on my right index finger right at the joint/pad of the finger. Its big enough to act as a fleshy fidget stone. Plus had a mystery lump removed from my neck on Tuesday. Even the doctor was unsure what it was, the lab will dissect it and notify me what it was. But having lung issues, battling pneumonia, and some other nasty bug. Now likely brought on by black mold that was discovered within the drywall in my bathroom thanks to my upstairs neighbors plumbing leaking for months. I have to wait another 8-10 days before the contractors can rip out and replace the damaged wall and ceiling, AFTER the plumbing is fixed first. Black mold is not fun!!
But on the friend suddenly turning on you, for no real apparent reason, that alone is worry some and stressful, especially when one has known them a very long time. Its hurtful both mentally and emotionally. I'd give you a huge hug right now if I was able. And a shoulder to cry on if needed. I myself have had friends suddenly "Go weird" on me in the past, and its not only traumatic , but heart breaking as well. You feel a great disturbance in the force. This alone seriously bothers me greatly. You shouldn't have to also beat yourself up with Woulda, coulda, shoulda's. I pray this gets resolved and you see happiness again.
And on getting bruised by a kitchen appliance, What fell on you? You poor girl, that's not fun. And yes, could have been far worse, like hitting you directly in the eye. If people question what happened, tell them you stopped a mugging and head butted the villain directly (hey, its a reindeer thing!). Makes a great story and of awe. Could be worse, you could have been attacked by Ikea furniture.
And in the immortal words of Spock, from Star Trek 2, "I am and always shall be your friend."
Heh, first of all thank you for the reference, I actually very well remember Sheldon's reaction to Penny and an episode with Amy now kinda in fog in my head, good reason to rewatch this!
and yeah, I am diabetic and things actually were getting better while I was on my old insulin program, but now this program is cancelled for russian participants due to known reason, sadly I am absolutely not doing good on analogs(
Sorry to hear about your thumb that must be hard(
did you get news from the lab about this lump? This all sound anxious anyway.
About turning on me for no reasons, I'm actually guessing something, but I am still not sure that it's not worth a try to sort things out/take a break I dunno. Anyway, they have their own serious problems, there is a big chance that all of this just claimed them. I am always up to help in any way I can but.. anyway there is also a big chance that I am not good enough/ I am just making everything even worse.
Still feels like being together for a half of our lives should mean at least a bit more than that and deserve a different ending.
Sorry to hear you went through this in the past and.. not even once? not even twice? Did your friends explain at least something to you? Did any of them ever come back a few years later and then explain/apologize?
Sorry if it's traumatizing to recall or talk about, feel free to skip these questions
And this kitchen actually a lame analog of Ikea here, so...
Laughed at headbutted a villain, thank you! ;'D
and yeah, I am diabetic and things actually were getting better while I was on my old insulin program, but now this program is cancelled for russian participants due to known reason, sadly I am absolutely not doing good on analogs(
Sorry to hear about your thumb that must be hard(
did you get news from the lab about this lump? This all sound anxious anyway.
About turning on me for no reasons, I'm actually guessing something, but I am still not sure that it's not worth a try to sort things out/take a break I dunno. Anyway, they have their own serious problems, there is a big chance that all of this just claimed them. I am always up to help in any way I can but.. anyway there is also a big chance that I am not good enough/ I am just making everything even worse.
Still feels like being together for a half of our lives should mean at least a bit more than that and deserve a different ending.
Sorry to hear you went through this in the past and.. not even once? not even twice? Did your friends explain at least something to you? Did any of them ever come back a few years later and then explain/apologize?
Sorry if it's traumatizing to recall or talk about, feel free to skip these questions
And this kitchen actually a lame analog of Ikea here, so...
Laughed at headbutted a villain, thank you! ;'D
I knew you'd appreciate the BBT reference.
Thats terrible that you can no longer get the insulin you seriously need instead of the other option. I seriously wish I could help you there in any way.
My 'Pregnant thumb' https://www.furaffinity.net/view/55544869/ just days before the surgery. It was a massive rheumatoidal mass, mainly caused by the drugs I was on. The surgery went fine. Though I looked like I was wearing Mickey Mouse gloves on two of my fingers for 10 days. The thumb looks normal now and functional.
The lump they removed from my neck turned out to be an impacted beard hair follicle. The lab reported that a hair ingrown under the pore it normally comes out and curled into a hard ball of hair that was 77 Millimeters long when laid out! They said they never see anything like that before that long. I lost a hair follicle...Oh dear!! But its gone and not like having a massive unpoppable pimple there instead.
And I'm glad I put a smile on your face over the head butting comment. That was worth it.
Thats terrible that you can no longer get the insulin you seriously need instead of the other option. I seriously wish I could help you there in any way.
My 'Pregnant thumb' https://www.furaffinity.net/view/55544869/ just days before the surgery. It was a massive rheumatoidal mass, mainly caused by the drugs I was on. The surgery went fine. Though I looked like I was wearing Mickey Mouse gloves on two of my fingers for 10 days. The thumb looks normal now and functional.
The lump they removed from my neck turned out to be an impacted beard hair follicle. The lab reported that a hair ingrown under the pore it normally comes out and curled into a hard ball of hair that was 77 Millimeters long when laid out! They said they never see anything like that before that long. I lost a hair follicle...Oh dear!! But its gone and not like having a massive unpoppable pimple there instead.
And I'm glad I put a smile on your face over the head butting comment. That was worth it.
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