Can you believe I've been around as long as I have, and I've only now read a Blind Pig story? It sounds pretty interesting for a setting.

Anyway, excellent job here; you've really nailed the voices of the characters, though Mr. Jones sounds a bit expositiony at times. That's the trouble with trying to write in only dialogue, I guess. It's really really difficult to relay facts to the audience in a natural way.

You should pick this up, you know, during those long boring nights when you're watching particles smash together. :D

The ending WAS kind of blah, but your story writing more generally was really strong here given the constraints. You set a good mood!