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The Passing Grade
A Thursday Prompt story
© 2024 by Walter Reimer
Prompt: detailing
“Mrs. Diaz?” The coati looked up from her desk and smiled up at her star pupil. The teenaged kitten asked, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure, Mark,” Diaz said, minimizing the open window on her laptop, depriving the kitten a glimpse of the essay she was grading. It wasn’t his anyway. “What is it?”
“Um, it’s about the grade on my last assignment.”
“Oh?”
“Well, why did I get a C?” Mark asked.
The coati sat back. “First,” and she held up an index finger, “you’re my best pupil, and second,” up went another finger, making a ‘V’ sign, “I’ve come to expect a well-written and polished assignment from you.”
It took a few moments to sink in, and Diaz let him take his time. “So what’d I do wrong?” Mark asked.
The teacher smiled. It was the right question. “You did a great job describing the room. The play of dust in the sunbeams coming through the open window, the view outside the window, the drip of the faucet in the adjoining bathroom.”
Mark gave her a wary look. “But?”
“You never described the person in the room, or what they were doing. You spent two thousand words describing everything but that. You got bogged down in minutiae.” She smiled as he smacked his forehead with a paw and his ears went down. “Now, like everyone else in the class, you’re allowed one opportunity to redo the assignment to increase your grade. Do you want to take the opportunity?”
He nodded vigorously. “Yes, Ma’am.”
“Good. Have it on my desk by Friday.” He nodded in agreement and left the classroom, leaving the coati alone.
Mrs. Diaz smiled as she reopened the window. Mark was a good writer, but had a tendency to get too far into the weeds.
He’d learn, though.
end
A Thursday Prompt story
© 2024 by Walter Reimer
Prompt: detailing
“Mrs. Diaz?” The coati looked up from her desk and smiled up at her star pupil. The teenaged kitten asked, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure, Mark,” Diaz said, minimizing the open window on her laptop, depriving the kitten a glimpse of the essay she was grading. It wasn’t his anyway. “What is it?”
“Um, it’s about the grade on my last assignment.”
“Oh?”
“Well, why did I get a C?” Mark asked.
The coati sat back. “First,” and she held up an index finger, “you’re my best pupil, and second,” up went another finger, making a ‘V’ sign, “I’ve come to expect a well-written and polished assignment from you.”
It took a few moments to sink in, and Diaz let him take his time. “So what’d I do wrong?” Mark asked.
The teacher smiled. It was the right question. “You did a great job describing the room. The play of dust in the sunbeams coming through the open window, the view outside the window, the drip of the faucet in the adjoining bathroom.”
Mark gave her a wary look. “But?”
“You never described the person in the room, or what they were doing. You spent two thousand words describing everything but that. You got bogged down in minutiae.” She smiled as he smacked his forehead with a paw and his ears went down. “Now, like everyone else in the class, you’re allowed one opportunity to redo the assignment to increase your grade. Do you want to take the opportunity?”
He nodded vigorously. “Yes, Ma’am.”
“Good. Have it on my desk by Friday.” He nodded in agreement and left the classroom, leaving the coati alone.
Mrs. Diaz smiled as she reopened the window. Mark was a good writer, but had a tendency to get too far into the weeds.
He’d learn, though.
end
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Coatimundi
Size 120 x 92px
File Size 50.8 kB
Listed in Folders
That's a sensible advice. Though it depends a lot on particular situation I suppose. For example someone could have wanted to describe a location with extreme details knowing that it won't be enganging, but deciding that it will be a good thing for the story as a whole.
And I wouldn't redo the story myself on his place, lol. I would just shrug and forget about that. But a lot of kids would appreciate possibility of increasing the grade.
And I wouldn't redo the story myself on his place, lol. I would just shrug and forget about that. But a lot of kids would appreciate possibility of increasing the grade.
Hm, this was interesting. My immediate thoughts were "What was the assignment?" I'm sure everyone has an experience with a pretentious English teacher, and my mind immediately pictured Mrs. Diaz as one. There's a lot of interesting contrast potential in describing everything BUT the person in a room, the first thing your eyes would probably turn to. Maybe the lesson here was moreso intentionality than anything else.
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