Nice to have a job you love to do. Zera’s lucky.

Sounds like an interesting world hinted at in the story as well. The city holed up behind a wall, trying to go beyond it and come up with high-tech ways to make farming more viable. Is it like some Judge Dredd mega city with a wasteland beyond?

If you find a job you love then you'll never work a day in your life.

That is basically the idea: the world outside the walls has descended into chaos and life within the walls is heavily regulated. Only the brave, or immensely foolish, venture beyond the safety of the walls to explore the world outside.

I'm grateful that you'd look this one over, thank you very much for that.

I'm not sure I'd trust Zera with a water-pistol never mind an actual handgun, she definitely has a lot of growing-up to do. At least make sure she's partnered with someone a lot more experienced and level-headed before asking her to do anything important.

She definitely needs to slow down a little bit, especially given her training had already been accelerated to prepare her for this job. I'm sure Leon knows what he's doing sending her out there... probably.

Thanks much for having read through this one, very much appreciated.

I'm sure this delivery will go exactly as planned and nothing bad happens. Everything tools will be delivered on time and undamaged. Yep. I'm sure that's exactly how this will go. /sarcasm

Also, the name C.A.R.R.O.T. gave me a chuckle. A ton of the internal tools that I've worked with on video games have silly names like that: Sage (Legend of Zelda Reference), R.A.T., Squirrel (don't know if this one is an acronym tbh), J.A.Z.Z., S.W.I.N.G., and M.E.O.W. are a few I remember off my head (and no I don't actually remember what any of those stand for).

Zera: "Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence... slash-sarcasm."
(Don't mind her, she'll get over it.)

I'm glad to hear you thought the C.A.R.R.O.T. was done well enough, it was kind of fun just trying to settle on what it stood for. It's interesting to hear that you have all sorts of different tools with bizarre names when developing video games. I'd be interested to hear what some of them stand for if you ever do remember any of them. Out of curiosity, are these tools actual features in the game or something you use for debugging and coding and the works?

I really appreciate that you'd take the time to read this one, thanks much for that.

All of them are internal development tools. For things like debugging and hooking up animation (actually almost all of those are animation editors). I know M.E.O.W. was something my friend developed as a debugging tool. He named it such just to get people to say, "Open up M.E.O.W." Don't know what it stood for, but I remember it being a reach to get it to fit.

I think Sage stood for, "Sims Animation Graph Editor."
R.A.T. is "Radical Animation Tool" I believe.

That's simultaneously interesting and a bit surprising to hear. Perhaps it wouldn't necessarily fit a game such as "The Sims", but something like SAGE would make for either a great name for a robot character or villain while also being one of your uniquely named development tools.

Also, what your friend never told you is that M.E.O.W. never stood for anything: he just named it that solely to get people to start playing cat at work!

Rodh stoll all of the comments I was going to make, Roidh's fault again!!!

Anyway I hope her delivery doesn't go horribly, horribly wrong lol

Zera: "You too?! Why doesn't anybody have any faith in me?! Grr! I'll show you all!"
(Don't mind her, she missed her nap. (Zera: "I'm not six years old!!"))

I'm sure Leon has taken every precaution to ensure Zera has everything she needs to avoid any potential trouble along the way... I hope.

Thanks much for giving this one a read, very greatly appreciate it.

How fickle, an advanced farming tool that looks like a carrot.

Leon did say that the boys and girls in the R&D lab had a sense of humor.

I'm grateful that you'd look this one over, very much appreciated.

A revolver strikes me as a natural weapon for the young, cocky, show-offey types. I wonder what happens if she actually has to use it in the field...

Well, when you have something as fancy an old-fashioned revolver, I think being a bit of a show off is to be expected. Hopefully when she has to (not if) take aim in the field that whatever she's firing at goes down in five shots or less.

Much appreciated that you'd read this one, very grateful for that.

Hehe, I like Zera, she has spunk. A good start of something here. Could be a good trilogy of stories if you chose to continue this story.

I am slowly planning something for this one, though it isn't quite as clear just yet what I want to do with it as some of my other stories are.

I'm grateful that you'd take the time to look this one over, thanks much for that.

I look forward to it!

You're welcome. You're a good writer.

i liked the fun banter of carrots and newby

You did a good job on the descriptions and body language, especially for the fox. What I suggest to help add emphasis one dialogue conversations, is don't forget the importance of subtext. We felt the wonderful disappointment of the misunderstanding and understood the fox's rage, but while the other two are talking about lessons and catching each other up, you can sneak in side conversation hooks that only the boss and raven would understand, and leave that air of suspense while also giving the development that while we as readers following the fox are here for them, the world around us is still moving and other plots and details are following and maybe there's some kind of conflict growing in the background that we may not even be part of but it affects the characters judgment.

Over all, what a fun chapter, and glad to see that vegetables are helpful in more ways than one, including health and hiding business ventures!

I'm grateful to hear you say that you thought this one was a fun one and that you'd be willing to offer any advice at all. I hadn't previously considered adding any extra asides between the fox's superiors, but I can see why that might help emphasize the relationship dynamic between the three. Something to add in if I ever get around to a re-write; thank you much for the tip.

Very much appreciate that you would be willing to read over this, thanks for that.

of course! i did have a question for you as well! Did you make he pixel animations for your story frames? they are really cool and was curious!

I'm grateful you'd say so, I did actually put them together myself using a program called Aseprite. They really aren't that great, but it was fun to put together and I very much appreciate that you'd say you thought they looked good enough.

most interesting - though I did not get a good feel for the Fox - meaning, I might have slapped her upside the head for playing with her weapon as she was. 'oops' is not a good word for a bullet hole.

*laughs...

Vix

I'm glad to hear you thought it was interesting, if perhaps the fox could use some discipline concerning her utter disregard for firearm safety. She'd probably argue that the weapon was unloaded, but I'm of the mindset that that's just the mark of someone who probably shouldn't even be trusted with a firearm to begin with...

Thank you very much for having read over this, always grateful for that.

Haha, that idea with Carrot being an abbreviation for something much more important was fun. And Zera is a very cute fox. But it's not something she probably would like to hear. More something along the lines of strong, capable, competent, fierce, ambitious and so on. It can be verified on that assignment. Maybe being someone who wants to show off with a revolver isn't actually best way to do well what is being asked of you. :P But I wish her good luck!

And an interesting world with these city-states and chaotic world outside! I like the concept.

Zera: "Oh, finally! Someone who gets it! I'm fully capable of handling myself: strong, independent, and foxy lady to deliver some important research supplies right here!"
(... Uh... sure... we'll go with that one.)

I'm glad to hear that you like the overall idea; I haven't spent too much time on this one but I do have some ideas that I hope work out well enough.

I very much appreciate that you would take the time to read over this one, thanks much for that.

Lol, now I saw it may have looked weird with how I wrote it. I meant that in my eyes she is a sort of character who thinks in herself in overly positive ways and with disregard for safety and cautiousness. And foxes are overall cute, not just she in particular.

Good luck with ideas and have fun.